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Use a Condom ...or else

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Alfalfa
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Use a Condom ...or else

Postby Alfalfa » Wed, 24 Aug 2005 5:49 pm

We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm Good.

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seraphim
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Postby seraphim » Wed, 24 Aug 2005 7:18 pm

Good one Alfafa......and exactly the reason I don't want kids. :roll:
And the sultans - yeah the sultans
they play creole...Creole, baby

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Carpe Diem
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Postby Carpe Diem » Wed, 24 Aug 2005 7:26 pm

Seraphim, shall I understand you were like that as a kid? :wink:
La vie est trop courte, profitons de chaque instant

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Postby seraphim » Wed, 24 Aug 2005 7:33 pm

According to my mother, not at all....but I'm almost certain that I must have been, since I talk so much these days. 8)

And I still don't want kids. At all. Period.
And the sultans - yeah the sultans

they play creole...Creole, baby

Richard McDonald

Postby Richard McDonald » Thu, 25 Aug 2005 9:52 am

Seraphim, kids are wonderful...that particular child in the video is a devil and should be put down by lethal injection or a blow to the head with a sand wedge :) Babies are a great by-product of intercourse...trust me, let's mingle our fluids together and see what we get from it. If you don't really like the resulting product, we can trade it off for some organ harvesting with SGH and then try again. What do u say, girl.....a child with your good looks and my brains can't possibly go wrong!



seraphim wrote:According to my mother, not at all....but I'm almost certain that I must have been, since I talk so much these days. 8)

And I still don't want kids. At all. Period.

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Alfalfa
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Postby Alfalfa » Thu, 25 Aug 2005 10:39 am

Trust me if my kid ever do that screaming antics on me in a grocery store..I'll leave the store immediately and come back in 1/2 an hour to check what damage he could possibly do when I was not there..hahaha :P
save me the embarassment..

Oh BTW my daughter did it to me once in the national library..she was angry that I didn't want to get her somethig so she tried lying down crying...I left her without a word.. next thing you know she was running behind me. These days it never happen again. :lol:
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm Good.

dot dot dot
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Postby dot dot dot » Thu, 25 Aug 2005 10:46 am

you got a nice collection of vids there Alfalfa... 8)

No kids for me either, although I do realize how beautiful a little human being can be too.

Eric

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Alfalfa
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Postby Alfalfa » Thu, 25 Aug 2005 10:51 am

Yeah! most vid came from my advertising friends.. HIlarious ones really...

But that barbie vid was one I can never forget..me and my best friend can't hep laughing watching our girls playing with the barbie dolls. :D
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm Good.

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Postby Carpe Diem » Fri, 26 Aug 2005 11:56 am

Why we love children

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door
until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm
a mother was tucking her son into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his
voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and,
as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,
"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bi*ch to iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into
the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bi*ch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bi*ch is nine..."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son
of a bi*ch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little
to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried
to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken
Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Sh*t! A talking chicken!'"

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the*boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake
The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your
Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
La vie est trop courte, profitons de chaque instant

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Alfalfa
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Postby Alfalfa » Fri, 26 Aug 2005 12:01 pm

CD you never fail to make me laugh....lol :lol:
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm Good.


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