Singapore Expats Forum

FOR WOMEN ONLY (but men can peek!!)

Chats, Flames, Jokes, Junks. Don't know where to post ? You've just found the right place.
Bambina

FOR WOMEN ONLY (but men can peek!!)

Postby Bambina » Thu, 18 Aug 2005 8:45 pm

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

stefania
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 285
Joined: Mon, 09 May 2005
Location: Perth, WA

Postby stefania » Thu, 18 Aug 2005 8:59 pm

Muahahaha.....truly wicked! :D

sabrina77
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 244
Joined: Thu, 31 Mar 2005

Postby sabrina77 » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 11:10 am

Have seen this one before, but can't help laughing all over again....

Thanks, Bambina ! :D

User avatar
guruvishwanath
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 227
Joined: Wed, 03 Aug 2005
Location: Braddell
Contact:

Postby guruvishwanath » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 11:19 am

I protest! :roll: why is it always we poor men have to face the brunt of bad jokes? we dont make jokes about women. well except if they are blonde or have big b**bs or work in politics or advertising or bars! :lol:

I am old enough to go to the moon in a do-it-yourself rocket, to land there at a specific spot without having to refer to biblical maps where my mind can wander on its own without making anyone miserable. :lol: :lol:

sabrina77
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 244
Joined: Thu, 31 Mar 2005

Postby sabrina77 » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 11:27 am

Guru...lol...see the title...this was for women...men allowed only to peek and not protest !!!! :lol:

User avatar
guruvishwanath
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 227
Joined: Wed, 03 Aug 2005
Location: Braddell
Contact:

Postby guruvishwanath » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 11:55 am

aiya! dont pick on semantics lah! peek, protest, procrastinate. in the end, its all the same. :lol:

User avatar
Strong Eagle
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 10413
Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004
Location: Off The Red Dot
Contact:

Back Attcha!!!

Postby Strong Eagle » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 5:34 pm

Hey, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, no???

:lol:

Image

Image

Bambina

Postby Bambina » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 8:44 pm

Gurrrru and Seagle.... honey chile.. ah jus was commenting to a frain bout how come yuz men get all riled uhp when we wimmin put up this sorta thang ...mai mai, what fraygile egos yuz men all have... you aint seen the other one i got ... lemme go look into mah l'ill box of goodies....

Bambina

GIRLS JUST OBSERVE- do not post any replies or comments

Postby Bambina » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 9:03 pm

GIRLS, LADIES, WIMMIN, FEMALES, THE GENDER OPPOSITE TO MEN... JUST READ AND WAIT - SAY NOTHING- BITE YOUR TONGUE, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT TOUCH THAT KEYBOARD.. sshhh.. wait for the men to respond.... watch, listen... I'll explain later... just dont post anything for a day or two...


THIS HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY A MAN.



This is for all you girls 30 years and over....
and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving
into their 30's... AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!...
(ok for those in your 20s, remember you WILL soon be in yr 30s)


This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney says:


As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are
just a few reasons why:


A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it.
She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more
interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30
give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can
get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30
couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows
her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true
of younger women.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you
are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder
where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman
of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22- year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when
you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%
of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a
little sausage.

User avatar
banana
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 961
Joined: Tue, 24 May 2005

Postby banana » Fri, 19 Aug 2005 10:02 pm

To some extent I do agree Bambina, some womyn are indeed more evolved but they still can't be bothered building buildings.

I know of no ego larger than a woman's.
some signatures are more equal than others

Guest

Postby Guest » Sat, 20 Aug 2005 12:26 am

banana wrote:To some extent I do agree Bambina, some womyn are indeed more evolved but they still can't be bothered building buildings.

I know of no ego larger than a woman's.


which part of which post are you referring to banana?

Bambina

Postby Bambina » Sat, 20 Aug 2005 12:52 am

scuse' that was me above asking about which part of which post u were referring to..
ciao!

User avatar
Strong Eagle
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 10413
Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004
Location: Off The Red Dot
Contact:

Postby Strong Eagle » Sat, 20 Aug 2005 10:04 am

Hey Bambina,

Andy is absolutely correct. Women over 30 are where it's at. They know what they want. No mind games. They've lived some life and can relate in interesting ways. Andy while the young woman's form is fine, nothing beats the sexy, sensual curvature of a fully grown woman. I could go on but I shant.

I've just got to recycle this one.



Image

Bambina

Postby Bambina » Sat, 20 Aug 2005 3:06 pm

Ok SE call me thick- is that a dog or squirrel in there.. and whats the punchline?

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 34262
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004
Location: Still Fishing!
Contact:

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 20 Aug 2005 4:21 pm

Bambina wrote:Ok SE call me thick- is that a dog or squirrel in there.. and whats the punchline?


Allllll hell Bambina, I'll call yuh thick! That thar critter is what makes dams in rivers & streams. And I don't mean civil engineers although that's what they are. :mrgreen:


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Leisure Chat, Jokes, Rubbish”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests