Singapore Expats Forum

Crush, Love and Lust Over Lovely Cousin........

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

dot dot dot
Manager
Manager
Posts: 2308
Joined: Thu, 21 Oct 2004

Postby dot dot dot » Mon, 15 Aug 2005 2:25 pm

come on people, the OP is just trying to get people flaming eachother here... Big windup. :?

Eric

User avatar
riversandlakes
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 899
Joined: Fri, 22 Jul 2005
Location: Simei
Contact:

Postby riversandlakes » Mon, 15 Aug 2005 2:31 pm

Eric, you're always saying "windup". What does it mean? Bad post?
Goatboy will always cherish his former goatgirl.
But the world is full of fluffier ones.

dot dot dot
Manager
Manager
Posts: 2308
Joined: Thu, 21 Oct 2004

Postby dot dot dot » Mon, 15 Aug 2005 2:49 pm

It means 'fake', one of those online forum terms like 'trolls' (often related too).

Eric

Spaniel

Postby Spaniel » Mon, 15 Aug 2005 11:43 pm

Eric from the Netherlands wrote:come on people, the OP is just trying to get people flaming eachother here... Big windup. :?

Eric


Hmmn.. i see this comment a lot as well.. here and the other site..and i wonder what is it that makes us 'decide' its a wind up there and then.. is it because we cannot fathom that there are people out there with these issues? Is it because we feel revolted that they had the 'audacity' to post here in the first place? I guess we just observe huh?

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 34268
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004
Location: Still Fishing!
Contact:

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 16 Aug 2005 12:01 am

Don't know whether the OP is just trying to wind us up or not. I've actually known similar situations and they happen with all to much frequency. 2nd cousin or farther removed is not a problem (mental that is), except for narrow minded onlookers & families. Hell, half of the Southern US is inbred and look at Tasmania (a joke folks it's only 47% :mrgreen: ).

Windups (especially on the Angry Board) are almost 'de rigor' on friday afternoons. Why? Good question. Some are pretty cleverly written and it often takes awhile to figure out. Windups are designed to do just that, throw out something controversial that will generate alot of pro & cons and then sit back and watch everybody start thrashing each other.

Some of our regular registered posters are good at this also. I'll not mention any nicks.

sms

User avatar
k1w1
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon, 30 May 2005

Re: Crush, Love and Lust Over Lovely Cousin........

Postby k1w1 » Tue, 16 Aug 2005 10:26 am

allreminder wrote:I'm a normal, decent man. I have a girlfriend of 8 years. I have no inclination to incest and I find it disgusting and immoral. But something disturbing is happening to me. I have this deep immerse crush for this very lovely and beautiful girl. Unfortunately, she's a direct cousin of mine.

She is 3 years younger then I am. We seldom see each other, since her family is estrange from us. The last time i saw her, we were still students in jc and sec sch respectively. During that time, she was already so cute and adorable that I spent next few weeks thinking and masturbating to her. Years went by, and i got on with my life....

.... Until recently, I met her again. Instant attraction. How much she has grown. But still that ever lovely. I could feel it deep within me, the strange feeling of crush, love and lust. She came from a broken family, and i can see the sadness in her. I so wanted to be close to her, be her confidant, take care of her, hug her, and of couse make love to her. It's affecting me. I dream of her frequently, and started masturbating to her. When having sex with my girlfriend, i fantasize i'm doing with this cousin of mine. Now I'm thinking of dumping my girlfriend and going after my lovely cousin.

God is cruel. She's my dream girl, yet she's also my cousin. Thing is, i don't see her as my cousin. She's this mysterious and ice cool, yet fragile and lovely girl that appears from time to time in my life, and everytime she appears, it'll affect me deeply.

What are the chances of marriage between cousins working out? Anyone has similar experience? Seriously confused...


Look at it on the bright side - if you shack up with your cousin, there won't be any of those awkward "meet the family" dinners :mrgreen:

tongue in cheek comment, folks - yes, probably a wind up.

Guest

Postby Guest » Tue, 16 Aug 2005 11:42 am

what's an Angry Board?

User avatar
Baron Greenback
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 853
Joined: Mon, 20 Jun 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby Baron Greenback » Tue, 16 Aug 2005 12:45 pm

I have a funny feeling that it is legal to marry your 1st cousin (in the UK anyway). Something to do with when they made the law they said you can't marry 2nd or 3rd cousins & assumed that people would autoimatically included 1st cousins - but they didn't.

To OP you basically have 2 options:

1. Talk to your cousin & tell her how you feel - if she feels the same way then you have the massive obsticle of your family to deal with; expect to be disowned. If she doesn't, case closed.

2. Stop fantisizing about her, it isn't helping. Fantisies are good & all but only if they are fantiasies & not possible of becoming true. So think of supermodels instead. You are associating her with feelings of pleasure, so when you see her you remember the pleasure, not good dude.

shinoko
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue, 30 Aug 2005
Contact:

I am in the same case as you, mr 28. year old

Postby shinoko » Tue, 30 Aug 2005 1:49 am

I am only 18, 10 years your junior. A Chinese female.

I am datinig with my own paternal 1st cousin - the son of my dad's brother.

Had sex and going on well. Obviously, our relatives oppose us of getting together.

Basically, I can comprehend how you feel, it might be a lil be too late for you too read this. In Singapore and some other countries, cousin and cousin (of whatever degree) is not considered incest.

Biblically, its not considered incest either. Incest is used to describe relationship betwen immediate family members.

There is a high chance of defects if you are planning for children but remember its your choice.

I understand how hurting words can be when people do not understand how it feels. However, my case is a little different from yours.

I haven’t met my cousin for nearly 9 years and the last time I went family visiting was when I am only 11 years old.

On the years I went back to my auntie’s place for visiting, he was either not around, or just somebody I couldn’t remember. He don’t even know I exist as his cousin.

We are biologically close but geographically apart.

I want you to understand that such relationships seems immoral to others but we, who are involved in this degree of relationship don’t find it disgusting.

For my stand, as a Chinese, I find it pointless to keep to ethics and customs because there aren’t any for us to learn anymore since no one really practices it.

Biblically, its not wrong, God didn’t oppose such relationships. There are topics about Joseph and Mary are 1st cousins, and Leviticus 18:1 speaks of all the laws of sexual intimacy within a household. Read up on that.

However, remember you have a girlfriend you’ve had for 8 years. Long enough to get married. Don’t put yourself in such shoes like mien…but I know my relationship with my cousin is genuine…we truly love each other.

If you like, read my blog, anybody may…

http://christianblogger87.blogspot.com
and his at
http://myblogsequalyourblogsat.blogs.fr ... roi_usagi/

shinoko
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue, 30 Aug 2005
Contact:

Postby shinoko » Tue, 30 Aug 2005 1:52 am

Baron Greenback wrote:I have a funny feeling that it is legal to marry your 1st cousin (in the UK anyway). Something to do with when they made the law they said you can't marry 2nd or 3rd cousins & assumed that people would autoimatically included 1st cousins - but they didn't.

To OP you basically have 2 options:

1. Talk to your cousin & tell her how you feel - if she feels the same way then you have the massive obsticle of your family to deal with; expect to be disowned. If she doesn't, case closed.

2. Stop fantisizing about her, it isn't helping. Fantisies are good & all but only if they are fantiasies & not possible of becoming true. So think of supermodels instead. You are associating her with feelings of pleasure, so when you see her you remember the pleasure, not good dude.


It is very true about point 1. For an 18 year old, I can speak with it...its really very tiring but as long as you know its worth it and you think you can work it out...go for it...if you jus twant her for sexual pleasures...drop that idea...

Such relationships are rare...think about it...We am ready to get disowned by our parents and relatives...We've through alot...

Think about it...

reenita

Postby reenita » Wed, 31 Aug 2005 2:05 am

geezzz....i dont agree with the part ure thinking about her when ure having sex wih ure gf!!!thats not nice....

personally i dont recommend cause :

1. Shes ure family member:anything happends to ure relationship...(if ever)will get the whole relatives talking about you.
2. Her parents and ures will be in an akward position.
3. Children will have some kind of disease or retardeness..For example if i have talassemia and my cousin has also then our children will have chronic talassemia and lead to death..

My sis dated a cousin once..they confessed their relationship to both their parents...and in the end the relationship ended bitterly...cause the guys side was strongly against it. he was a coward and couldnt leave his parents for my sis and went to be with another girl of his parents choice..in the end my sis was badly hurt!

Things like that involve lots of emotion and be sensitive to ure gf and that cousin of ures...remember ure gonna hurt this girls and could be yourself..so its not worth it!

Plavt
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 4289
Joined: Wed, 18 May 2005
Location: United Kingdom

Postby Plavt » Wed, 31 Aug 2005 5:41 am

Baron Greenback wrote:I have a funny feeling that it is legal to marry your 1st cousin (in the UK anyway). Something to do with when they made the law they said you can't marry 2nd or 3rd cousins & assumed that people would autoimatically included 1st cousins - but they didn't.

To OP you basically have 2 options:

1. Talk to your cousin & tell her how you feel - if she feels the same way then you have the massive obsticle of your family to deal with; expect to be disowned. If she doesn't, case closed.

2. Stop fantisizing about her, it isn't helping. Fantisies are good & all but only if they are fantiasies & not possible of becoming true. So think of supermodels instead. You are associating her with feelings of pleasure, so when you see her you remember the pleasure, not good dude.



Baron, unless I am very much mistaken it is illegal to marry any relative in the UK. However, I will need to check up a few things and get back to you as times are changing but I still doubt if this is aloud. That's all for now.

Plavt.

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed, 31 Aug 2005 1:02 pm

reenita wrote:geezzz....i dont agree with the part ure thinking about her when ure having sex wih ure girlfriend!!!thats not nice....

personally i dont recommend cause :

1. Shes ure family member:anything happends to ure relationship...(if ever)will get the whole relatives talking about you.
2. Her parents and ures will be in an akward position.
3. Children will have some kind of disease or retardeness..For example if i have talassemia and my cousin has also then our children will have chronic talassemia and lead to death..

My sis dated a cousin once..they confessed their relationship to both their parents...and in the end the relationship ended bitterly...cause the guys side was strongly against it. he was a coward and couldnt leave his parents for my sis and went to be with another girl of his parents choice..in the end my sis was badly hurt!

Things like that involve lots of emotion and be sensitive to ure girlfriend and that cousin of ures...remember ure gonna hurt this girls and could be yourself..so its not worth it!


i'm very much like that guy rather than ur sister...i'm the mummy's girl...not that we want to have sex on purpose...but we are still human beings...we could've been normal couples like others, improving relationship in anyways, including sex. but not point dwelling on issues like 'oh, i don't agree with you having sex with ur family member'. number 1. its been done... number 2. we are like normal couples, the only difference is we are relatives. in our case, we aren't very much like other cousin couples who have met eacho hter since young, or know each other at all..

i know to some of the people on this forum, prolly most, would think my actions are sick...but hey man...don't judge...seriously...

i don't mind critcisisms, i have had all of it from my relatives especially being the older one among the both of us...and being a girl, my relatives actually push the blame to me...because human beings are always biased.

yes, indeed, i'm hurt...it hurt most when i already broke up with him...but my parents still ground me, still talk about him...and instead of consoling me when i cry bitterly in room, they barge in, shout and scold me, use profanities on me and call me a beast.

as the only child, its worse. i coudlnt' cope with the emotional trauma...

i'm lonely. i have been used by many guys b4 until i met this cousin of mine...we only go tto know each ohter last year...throuhg our cousin's wedding.

ironically, his dad, happens to be the closest sibling to my dad, but we didn't meet at all because my cousin's parents divorced and he has been under his mom's custody.

so, on the years he returned to my auntie's place for visiting, i don't go (because my relatives despise my household - dad - because he owes money, borrows money from loansharks and had to seek help from people to clear his debts. until now, still not completely cleared)

nobody can understand this complex shit.

so when i do engage in sexual activity...sometimes...its really to let out my stress...my cousin ain't my first SP though i'm his first.

i knwo we are still young, the road is still long, but well. i think ur sis won't be able to forget ur cousin until the day she dies...

just like me...

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed, 31 Aug 2005 1:06 pm

reenita wrote:geezzz....i dont agree with the part ure thinking about her when ure having sex wih ure girlfriend!!!thats not nice....

personally i dont recommend cause :

1. Shes ure family member:anything happends to ure relationship...(if ever)will get the whole relatives talking about you.
2. Her parents and ures will be in an akward position.
3. Children will have some kind of disease or retardeness..For example if i have talassemia and my cousin has also then our children will have chronic talassemia and lead to death..

My sis dated a cousin once..they confessed their relationship to both their parents...and in the end the relationship ended bitterly...cause the guys side was strongly against it. he was a coward and couldnt leave his parents for my sis and went to be with another girl of his parents choice..in the end my sis was badly hurt!

Things like that involve lots of emotion and be sensitive to ure girlfriend and that cousin of ures...remember ure gonna hurt this girls and could be yourself..so its not worth it!


i forgot to include, i m a lady not a man...


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests