Crush, Love and Lust Over Lovely Cousin........

[allreminder]

I'm a normal, decent man. I have a girlfriend of 8 years. I have no inclination to incest and I find it disgusting and immoral. But something disturbing is happening to me. I have this deep immerse crush for this very lovely and beautiful girl. Unfortunately, she's a direct cousin of mine.

She is 3 years younger then I am. We seldom see each other, since her family is estrange from us. The last time i saw her, we were still students in jc and sec sch respectively. During that time, she was already so cute and adorable that I spent next few weeks thinking and masturbating to her. Years went by, and i got on with my life....

.... Until recently, I met her again. Instant attraction. How much she has grown. But still that ever lovely. I could feel it deep within me, the strange feeling of crush, love and lust. She came from a broken family, and i can see the sadness in her. I so wanted to be close to her, be her confidant, take care of her, hug her, and of couse make love to her. It's affecting me. I dream of her frequently, and started masturbating to her. When having sex with my girlfriend, i fantasize i'm doing with this cousin of mine. Now I'm thinking of dumping my girlfriend and going after my lovely cousin.

God is cruel. She's my dream girl, yet she's also my cousin. Thing is, i don't see her as my cousin. She's this mysterious and ice cool, yet fragile and lovely girl that appears from time to time in my life, and everytime she appears, it'll affect me deeply.

What are the chances of marriage between cousins working out? Anyone has similar experience? Seriously confused...

[Guest]

how close a cousin? first cousin? second cousin? if you're worried about the children resulting from a marriage that is too close (bad genes), first cousin is TOO close. third cousin should be safe enough, i think. talk to your doctor.

[Strong Eagle]

There is plenty of evidence that there is no problem in marrying/having children with your first cousin. As the other poster mentioned, see your doctor and get tested for those things that could cause problems. And if your doctor objects on moral grounds, find another doctor.

BTW, are your feelings reciprocated? Or are you simply projecting your needs, wants, desires, and fantasies upon this young woman? It's easy to cast the other as the "solution" in life, but those projections are pretty quickly dispelled in the reality of everday life. No person can fill the gaps that exist within you.

[Guest]

all reminder!

i think ure sick!and u need help...that poor cousin of ures...i hope she stays far from you...why do u want to ruin that girls life..helloooo she comes from a broken family...leave her alone...and ure poor gf..shes freak a bloody loser...

[Guest]

cousin can married, it's legal

[Guest]

Disgusting!! You still say you are normal and decent? You are totally immoral!

[Guest]

Cousins CANNOT MARRY!! It's so shameful and immoral.
You should kneel down to jesus and repent your sins!

[samantha]

Whatever you do, bear in mind how she feels.. You may end up getting ostracized by your family.. Afterall, society is still quite conservative...

[briceloh]

look whatever ppl said above might be cruel. yes, maybe they are. i didn't mean to be so judgemental. but u say u are attached to this gf for 8 years and when u make love to her u r thinking about yur cousin? have u got no responsibilities in the things u do? r u treating yur gf like a piece of meat? or do u just want to have sex with yur cousin? u hardly know yur cousin inside out, and u want to talk about marriage? or was that sex on yur mind all the time? u said u r thinking of dumping yur 8 years relationship for this cousin. what will happen when the next time u see another pretty gal that u fantasizes all day? u'll dump this poor cousin of yurs too? pls pls, think abt what u r doing. u said that God is cruel? how sure r u of that? will this not be another test for u ?

[samantha]

nice one briceloh..

You pointed out one important fact.. that guy is a sex deprived freak.. His girlfried deserves better.. Can you imagine how you will feel if your having sex with her partner who mentally substituting you for another person??

[sundaymorningstaple]

look whatever ppl said above might be cruel. yes, maybe they are. i didn't mean to be so judgemental. but u say u are attached to this girlfriend for 8 years and when u make love to her u r thinking about yur cousin? have u got no responsibilities in the things u do? r u treating yur girlfriend like a piece of meat? or do u just want to have sex with yur cousin? u hardly know yur cousin inside out, and u want to talk about marriage? or was that sex on yur mind all the time? u said u r thinking of dumping yur 8 years relationship for this cousin. what will happen when the next time u see another pretty girl that u fantasizes all day? u'll dump this poor cousin of yurs too? pls pls, think abt what u r doing. u said that God is cruel? how sure r u of that? will this not be another test for u ?

Aiyoh, briceloh, your posts are getting harder and harder to decode what with all the sms'ese. Guess I've just got to quit trying to read your posts.

sms

[briceloh]

sorry SMS, will not use those here next time.

[sundaymorningstaple]

briceloh, no offense meant. It's just us old men sometimes aren't so agile anymore.

[Global Citizen]

Ok my opinion: This first cousin bit is too close to home to be comfortable and you're opening a whole can of worms that you're better off leaving well enough alone.

My advice: Drop the whole idea.

My thoughts: I'm wondering if the whole " forbidden fruit is sweeter" saying isn't somehow playing into your fantasies of scoring the unattainable.

[Fraulein]

You are normal decent man who is at least admiting to his feelings of confusion and lust (and in some eyes incestous). Its better than being quiet about it and going crazy. There's lots of you out there with more vile thoughts never expressed right?

Go with the flow of these thoughts, dont act on them, but go see a counsellor or therapist or priest (who may tell you like some of the other posters here that you are a sinner!) , so you may want to skip the priest unless he is non judgemental. You need to talk to a professional as the posters here are not professional counsellors. I can relate to what you are saying as i went through something similar some years ago.. i didnt talk to anyone about it.. but i knew that it was because i was lonely and going through a very bad time with a relationship.

Call up SOS and talk to them. They are not there to solve your problem but they will at least listen. Writing out your thoughts here is a good start but you really need to talk to someone trained not to 'react' to you feelings, friends, family etc WILL but a trained listener will listen, reflect and empathise and give you a chance to 'hear' yourself.

Good luck!