Singapore Expats Forum

The Holy Bible & the Quran ??

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

pinkberry

The Holy Bible & the Quran ??

Postby pinkberry » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 5:20 pm

From what i know, both the Bible and the Quran are the same in the first few chapters.. Genesis, Leviticus... talking about the Laws.. Noah's Ark and Moses...it was until the part where Abraham and his maid Hagar mated and got a son called Ishmael. But Abraham and the rightful wife Sarah, also had a son called Issac.(GOD intended) This is where it split into two parts. Ishmael led to the Islam. Am i correct? Here is my Q: In the bible , an illegitimate son is not recognised. So does it mean Islam is not the rightful Way? (no offense, just curious )

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 35168
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004
Location: Still Fishing!
Contact:

Re: The Holy Bible & the Quran ??

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 5:33 pm

pinkberry wrote:From what i know, both the Bible and the Quran are the same in the first few chapters.. Genesis, Leviticus... talking about the Laws.. Noah's Ark and Moses...it was until the part where Abraham and his maid Hagar mated and got a son called Ishmael. But Abraham and the rightful wife Sarah, also had a son called Issac.(GOD intended) This is where it split into two parts. Ishmael led to the Islam. Am i correct? Here is my Q: In the bible , an illegitimate son is not recognised. So does it mean Islam is not the rightful Way? (no offense, just curious )


You are only right if you assume the bible is correct. There is where the plot thickens! Believer in the Quran don't think it is......

sms

User avatar
samantha
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 226
Joined: Sat, 23 Jul 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby samantha » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 6:58 pm

Put it this way.. Both the Quran and the bible were first written long after Prophet Mohammed and Jesus Christ died... With the preacher gone, and no records of a scribe copying down whatever they preached, how accurate can it be?? 8)

And during Abraham's day, polygamy was alright as many women died of childbirth. So it is possible that his maid Hagar was not just his maid but his concubine as well. In history during those times, wifes ruled in the households, concubines are servant. So Ishmael may be recognised...

Oh and lets hype things up a bit... Anyone wants to explain to me how Noah got 2 penguins, polar bears, kangaroos and kolar bears to keep in his ark?? :wink:

No offense but i'm a no-religioner.. I'm not siding any and i'm shooting down all...:lol: :lol:
I'm so stupid that I surprise myself sometimes...

User avatar
Carpe Diem
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1642
Joined: Tue, 12 Jul 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby Carpe Diem » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 7:22 pm

OK Samantha, may be not the answer you're waiting for... But anyway, just have a look...

A Student's History of the World - as collected by Richard Lederer

(One of the fringe benefits of being an English or history professor is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay or report. Here is the history of the world, pasted together from genuine student bloopers, collected by teachers throughout the U.S.)

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple. A snake was present at the time. God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.

Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Bibical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. They invented three kinds of columns - corinthian, ironic, and dorc. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. One of the opossums was St.Matthew who was by profession a taximan. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Then came the Middle Ages when King Alfred conquered the Dames. King Arthur lived then with brave knights on prancing horses and beautiful women and Joan of Arc was canonized by Bernard Shaw and victims of the blue-bonnet plaque grew boobs on their necks. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

In midevil times people were alliterate. The greatest writer was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and literature. During this time, people put on morality plays about ghosts, goblins, virgins, and other mythical creatures.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their life. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father or the Renaissance.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. Shakespeare was the greatest writer. In one of his plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy.

Then came the enlightenment. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in autumn, when the apples are falling off trees. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and began reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers. Then came the first world war, which ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
La vie est trop courte, profitons de chaque instant

User avatar
samantha
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 226
Joined: Sat, 23 Jul 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby samantha » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 7:27 pm

Oh man.. I'm having a fever and a headache now.. and you just made it worse by making me laugh so hard!! I'm going to print this out.. it's one good heck of a lists of bloopers... :lol: :lol:
I'm so stupid that I surprise myself sometimes...

User avatar
Strong Eagle
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 11110
Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004
Location: Off The Red Dot
Contact:

Postby Strong Eagle » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 8:22 pm

This is MIGHTY funny! Thanks.

User avatar
Wind In My Hair
Manager
Manager
Posts: 2306
Joined: Tue, 19 Jul 2005

Postby Wind In My Hair » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 8:35 pm

Hilarious!

User avatar
Strong Eagle
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 11110
Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004
Location: Off The Red Dot
Contact:

Postby Strong Eagle » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 8:39 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote:"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein


What a hilarious quote! Outstanding. Is it really Einstein?

User avatar
Carpe Diem
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1642
Joined: Tue, 12 Jul 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby Carpe Diem » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 9:48 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:
Wind In My Hair wrote:"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein


What a hilarious quote! Outstanding. Is it really Einstein?


Yes it seems that it's from him...
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quote ... 48851.html

Well if you don't mind, I will create a new post with this revised version of History, in "Jokes, ..." - that will allow sharing with more people.
La vie est trop courte, profitons de chaque instant

User avatar
whatalark
Regular
Regular
Posts: 99
Joined: Mon, 06 Jun 2005

the Holy Bible and Quran

Postby whatalark » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 10:37 pm

gasp gasp roflol gotta get to the washroom oh no oh no.....

is there anything as funny as kids and the stuff that comes out of their mouths??!!

if I was the teacher of these particular jokers I'd probably die laughing in class and also die of frustration.
no trees were hurt in the making of this post but a few electrons were terribly inconvenienced

Guest

Postby Guest » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 10:42 pm

Both them books has been change by people all over the world. They are not really written by God as they claim. I never believe in religions so I don't believe any of the boooks are holy....what ever this is taken to mean...hehehe I don't care what you say or know.

andy_

Postby andy_ » Thu, 11 Aug 2005 11:53 pm

How can compare Quran and BIble?
Bible is story about life and love. Quran is the set illogical suriahs, without any connection to each other, even some in conflict each other.
I tried read and understand Quran, its impossible! No logic, no any interesting ideas.

User avatar
samantha
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 226
Joined: Sat, 23 Jul 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby samantha » Fri, 12 Aug 2005 10:28 am

Hey Andy_

you must be real shallow to not understand the koran. It also preaches love and most importantly, honour. The bible has parts on honour too.. But look at the crusades... Christain men killed and raped women and children openly (depnding on their tastes..). The koran's jihad says very clearly that no women nor child is to be harmed for they are innocents in the war fought by men... The bible also has many loopholes... Like how did Noah obtain 2 polar bears from the north pole and 2 kolar bears from australia?? it is a very long distance for him to walk... and swim... :mrgreen:
I'm so stupid that I surprise myself sometimes...

User avatar
Global Citizen
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 675
Joined: Mon, 07 Mar 2005
Location: Still looking for Paradise

Postby Global Citizen » Fri, 12 Aug 2005 11:34 am

And in my opinion the absolutely priceless gems from Carpe's list are:

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony. (many may agree with this today)

Martin Luther was nailed to the church door for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. (Ouch!)

Thanks Carpe.

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 35168
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004
Location: Still Fishing!
Contact:

Re: the Holy Bible and Quran

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 12 Aug 2005 12:05 pm

whatalark wrote:gasp gasp roflol gotta get to the washroom oh no oh no.....

is there anything as funny as kids and the stuff that comes out of their mouths??!!


Sometimes what comes out of some of the adults mouths on this forum is just about as silly. I am not making a dig at you whatalark, it is just an observation that I am sure you've noticed as well.

But I did laugh my @$$ off last night when I read it.

sms


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests