Intelligent Girls

[Guest]

I like what the one poster said about personality and charater.

I think I sadi this in another post but (at least for me) looks are necessary but not sufficient. Lets suppose for a second that I found 2 in 10 girls physically attractive at first sight; well if there are ~6 billion people on the planet and ~50% are female, there should be about 600 million girls I would find physically attractive. Now if looks were all that mattered I don't think I would be single right now.

I think many guys have the opinion that if she is hot, he would "at least" sleep with her but everything after that is going to come down to the person. Many girls I have met have the attitude that "i am hot, and terefore I can get any guy I want" the important distinction however is that having a guy want to SLEEP with you is not the same as having a guy want to DATE you. Some girls seem to have their self esteem bolstered simply by the former, irnogring the latter.

So yes, intelligence is important. However, intelligence isn't everything either. I spend most of my days in my own head thinking and therefore when I put that away I want to be around someone fun, someone with character, someone who likes to laugh and that may, or may not, also include high intelligence. If I had to choose between someone fun or someone intelligent to spend the rest of mmy life with, I think I would have to go with the former.

Its really about a whole package. Yes, looks are important -- I am not going to deny that but I don't need super model beauty, in fact I prefer a cute smily girl over glamorous, anyday. That said there still has to be physical chemistry there and I don't have that with just anyone, certianly not 2 in 10 either. That said, a lot of physical chemistry comes about not because of the looks but the animated person behind the person.

Thus I think looks are the least important because they are probably the most abundant--find me a girl with a great personality and intelligence on top of that (Which MATCHES my OWN taste) well that's something I find rarely.

-Rob

[local lass]

Personally after being introduced to her and her family, I could see just how close they all lived together, being Chinese, she was 36 at the time, and i guess her parents worried that she would be left on the shelf.

My wife wasn't really impressed with her own Countrymen, most unfaithful or had concubines, I believe she would have chosen to remain single, had she not met me.

I'm pretty up front, and laid my cards on the table, this is how it is! I have no intentions of supporting a woman financially, having lost far too much, in other relationships.

The only thing i could promise was my faithfulness, becuase I have never ever cheated on anyone. Sex is very important and i would definately not wait a long time, longer than 3 months, I need to try out the goods, to see if they fit my needs, sounds a little crude i know, but If i was not sexually satisfied, i would drop the person.

It is not about having orgasm, more of how the other person relates to sex and their own bodies, I have met many women that are very naive and ashamed and have difficulty even to undress.

One really does need to be on the same wavelength in sexual matters, for example I have an above average sex need, which i have tried to get medical help for, to slow me down.... I find it quite an embarassment to want sexual release, so one must really be open and truethful.

If a woman doesn't really enjoy sex, then she must make her partner aware of this. My ex now tells me after 4 marriages, that she has never got anything out of sex with anyone, and that is why she drifted, looking for something that isn't available to her. This is a sad situation, so one must be up front from the begining.

To make a commitment is exactly what I made, and I intend to see it through, the benefits of caring and loving seem to have grown over the years. But I am still very aware of the pain of letting my emotions take over, so good sense tells me, to not spoil her, or myself.

In my single days I had no one to answer for, and even when married, one should be allowed a certain freedom, without questions and ear bending, respect his earned and not taken for granted for both partners.

So one should remember that both parties have friends of the opposite sex, this is not always easy, for people from certain classes and cultur.

I've always been attracted to women under the same birth sign has myself, they tend to express their independance the same way. So I went against Chinese astrology and married one, The important thing is to understand eachothers needs, and for me, who is interested in psychology, growth, self awareness and astrology, it is easy to let my wife have centre stage when she needs it.

Interesting to find out what you were looking for Guest. I agree on some essential qualities for a relationship to work out- trust, respect, personal space, faithfulness and of course, good sex! Haha... I'm surprised to hear though that your wife found most local men unfaithful. My experience is to the contrary. Anyway all the best to you and your marriage!

[riversandlakes]

I didn't know that. Got no sisters hehe

I'm all for saving time, but me - by having no hair. Cut to the shortest possible, against most peers' standards. Saves time on visiting the barber, when drying up, when waking up...

But is the 48 hours time-saving for you worth the hair damage?

These days tonnes of girls do rebonding. They sure look neat and very attractive, but imho, I heard that such is actually abuse against one hair. Hence it makes me wonder if the girl is well-read, i.e. intelligent. I look for noticeably clean hair, that's all.

I've rebonded my hair a few times and yes it does damage the hair but if you use conditioners, hair masques and treatment, it's not so bad. The reason for rebonding, or at least my reason, is that I have natural curls and everyday used to be a bad hair day. It would take at least 10 min every morning to blow it dry and into shape, just to get my hair into a state where I could face clients, colleagues, and the world in general.

With rebonded hair now I spend less than 10 seconds a day just combing it through. That's a time saving of about 10 min a day, which is 5 hours a month. Rebonding takes 4 hours every 4 months. Total time saving a year = 48 hours. Now tell me how that is unintelligent?

[Wind In My Hair]

I didn't know that. Got no sisters hehe

I'm all for saving time, but me - by having no hair. Cut to the shortest possible, against most peers' standards. Saves time on visiting the barber, when drying up, when waking up...

But is the 48 hours time-saving for you worth the hair damage?

These days tonnes of girls do rebonding. They sure look neat and very attractive, but imho, I heard that such is actually abuse against one hair. Hence it makes me wonder if the girl is well-read, i.e. intelligent. I look for noticeably clean hair, that's all.

I've rebonded my hair a few times and yes it does damage the hair but if you use conditioners, hair masques and treatment, it's not so bad. The reason for rebonding, or at least my reason, is that I have natural curls and everyday used to be a bad hair day. It would take at least 10 min every morning to blow it dry and into shape, just to get my hair into a state where I could face clients, colleagues, and the world in general.

With rebonded hair now I spend less than 10 seconds a day just combing it through. That's a time saving of about 10 min a day, which is 5 hours a month. Rebonding takes 4 hours every 4 months. Total time saving a year = 48 hours. Now tell me how that is unintelligent?

Yes, for me it is. The anonymous post was by me, forgot to log in that time. Anyway the hair that is damaged is dead tissue. The roots are untouched. And if you cut off all your hair and let it all grow out again, it will be back to its original state. So the damage is not permanent. Don't tie yourself in knots about it.

[Wind In My Hair]

Thanks for the invitation Wind In My Hair. But "local lass" would like to remain an observer, not a participant. All the best to the club you're trying to set up!

Sure, no worries. It's not really a club. Technically nothing is happening cos I haven't done anything at this point. Just an idea...

Observing is fun too. I've just recently broken from a pretty serious relationship so I'm not about to start another relationship soon either. I do like organising parties and get-togethers for drinks, sports etc.

Well see you around. It's nice to know there's another happily single local girl like myself around... most people here seem to be expat (surprise surprise! ) and either happily or unhappily married. Very nice bunch though I must say, apart from the stray black sheep here and there. Which is why I keep coming back.

[ej]

i'm a happily single local gurl too. deliriously happy sometimes.

[riversandlakes]

ok lor

I didn't know that. Got no sisters hehe

I'm all for saving time, but me - by having no hair. Cut to the shortest possible, against most peers' standards. Saves time on visiting the barber, when drying up, when waking up...

But is the 48 hours time-saving for you worth the hair damage?

I've rebonded my hair a few times and yes it does damage the hair but if you use conditioners, hair masques and treatment, it's not so bad. The reason for rebonding, or at least my reason, is that I have natural curls and everyday used to be a bad hair day. It would take at least 10 min every morning to blow it dry and into shape, just to get my hair into a state where I could face clients, colleagues, and the world in general.

With rebonded hair now I spend less than 10 seconds a day just combing it through. That's a time saving of about 10 min a day, which is 5 hours a month. Rebonding takes 4 hours every 4 months. Total time saving a year = 48 hours. Now tell me how that is unintelligent?

Yes, for me it is. The anonymous post was by me, forgot to log in that time. Anyway the hair that is damaged is dead tissue. The roots are untouched. And if you cut off all your hair and let it all grow out again, it will be back to its original state. So the damage is not permanent. Don't tie yourself in knots about it.

[GuestGuest]

Okay, got a question. I come across a lot of personals and from conversations with male friends, they always state that a girls' looks do not matter at all, that it is inconsequential.

So guys are always saying how they just want an intelligent girl. So to all the men here, is this true? What is your definition of intelligence? What aspects of her personality would you find to be intelligent? Does her career matter? Does how much she earns equate to how intelligent she is?So hope i can get some points from this topic.

why can't it all matter? why settle when you can get it all in the same person, looks and intelligence?

looks only can be a real drag, and you can almost count the days before you pull the rip cord, and with a non-looker who may be intelligent, well, unless love strikes hard, it's probably doomed to fail

for those for whom looks don't matter, well, that's very big of them and I salute them; me, I won't deny my natural inclinations to be atracted to what I'm attracted to, and that include looks as well as someone who intellectually stimulates me - better to wait for the right combination of the two, whatever works for you

[GuestGuest]

hey local lass, i'm just curious... did your date with that guest who gave you his email on this forum work out? it's nice to see people making friends online... i met my ex that way and though we broke up i must say it was a good experience on the whole. if you don't mind my being nosey do update me!

No we didn't go on a date. We didn't even meet up. I wasn't comfortable with his emails and we stopped corresponding after the first round. And after his postings on meeting girls in this forum for sex, it seems now that I have reasons to be wary

while I respect your intution and decision, if that is your reason you are quite mistaken, if you re-read what I have written in my posts you will see that

you and anyone should be wary in general with the Internet, but I've not given you cause for that, and anyway, we weren't going to meet for a date, it was purely platonic

but no hard feelings

[GuestGuest]

It's not just that slim women are attractive (they are), it's also the fact that a lot of fat women carry a lot of baggage... and I don't mean weight. Many heavy women also carry a lot of energy around being fat and it shows up in the conversation and/or relationship. Women who carry a lot of excess weight aren't really any different than the male slob who changes clothes once every two weeks. It comes down to feelings about self and looking after one's self and I really don't want to deal with slobs of either sex.

Show me a women who is happy and confident with herself and I'll show you a woman that men want to go out with.

SE, damn right, on both points. There is a lot of overhead with someone who is not happy with themself, but those who are, emit a vibe that others are just naturally attracted to.

[local lass]

while I respect your intution and decision, if that is your reason you are quite mistaken, if you re-read what I have written in my posts you will see that

you and anyone should be wary in general with the Internet, but I've not given you cause for that, and anyway, we weren't going to meet for a date, it was purely platonic

but no hard feelings

I didn't get the impression that what you were looking for was platonic. But let's let it rest at that. No hard feelings on my side as well.