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Intelligent Girls

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riversandlakes
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Postby riversandlakes » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 2:22 pm

$0.02

I think physical attributes attract initially. After which it's the character that decides if the relationship can take off...

Specific physical attributes, e.g. small boobs is subjective. Bad, bad teeth might indicate inability to take care of oneself, hence it's a good indication, no?
These days tonnes of girls do rebonding. They sure look neat and very attractive, but imho, I heard that such is actually abuse against one hair. Hence it makes me wonder if the girl is well-read, i.e. intelligent. I look for noticeably clean hair, that's all.

imho, smooth complexion might indicate a girl who takes good care of her skin. Genetics, of course, is another story.
I've a nice girl friend who really has bad sticky hair and complexion :? If she was as intelligent as I think she is, why is she neglecting to take care of herself?

nice legs also rank about the same as smooth complexion? An active girl doesn't necessary have tonnes of scars on her calves and thighs?

Man, I think I should stick to Oracle databases...
Goatboy will always cherish his former goatgirl.
But the world is full of fluffier ones.

local lass

Postby local lass » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 2:30 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote:hey local lass, i'm just curious... did your date with that guest who gave you his email on this forum work out? it's nice to see people making friends online... i met my ex that way and though we broke up i must say it was a good experience on the whole. if you don't mind my being nosey do update me!


No we didn't go on a date. We didn't even meet up. I wasn't comfortable with his emails and we stopped corresponding after the first round. And after his postings on meeting girls in this forum for sex, it seems now that I have reasons to be wary :D

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 2:32 pm

riversandlakes wrote:These days tonnes of girls do rebonding. They sure look neat and very attractive, but imho, I heard that such is actually abuse against one hair. Hence it makes me wonder if the girl is well-read, i.e. intelligent. I look for noticeably clean hair, that's all.


I've rebonded my hair a few times and yes it does damage the hair but if you use conditioners, hair masques and treatment, it's not so bad. The reason for rebonding, or at least my reason, is that I have natural curls and everyday used to be a bad hair day. It would take at least 10 min every morning to blow it dry and into shape, just to get my hair into a state where I could face clients, colleagues, and the world in general.

With rebonded hair now I spend less than 10 seconds a day just combing it through. That's a time saving of about 10 min a day, which is 5 hours a month. Rebonding takes 4 hours every 4 months. Total time saving a year = 48 hours. Now tell me how that is unintelligent?

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 2:40 pm

local lass wrote:
Wind In My Hair wrote:hey local lass, i'm just curious... did your date with that guest who gave you his email on this forum work out? it's nice to see people making friends online... i met my ex that way and though we broke up i must say it was a good experience on the whole. if you don't mind my being nosey do update me!


No we didn't go on a date. We didn't even meet up. I wasn't comfortable with his emails and we stopped corresponding after the first round. And after his postings on meeting girls in this forum for sex, it seems now that I have reasons to be wary :D


ok so much for that. thanks for the update! i think it's brilliant when you can write someone off before you even start dating... which is one reason i like the internet and emailing / chatting. such a big time saving not to mention it's emotionally lightweight... no risk of broken hearts!

are you open to group dating by the way? a friend of mine advocates it so i'm thinking of organising group events... probably more fun and less stress than one-on-one dating. once i've collected enough emails / phone numbers i'll get round to organising something...

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Re: Intelligent Girls

Postby Strong Eagle » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 2:50 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote:
LoveIt wrote:Okay, got a question. I come across a lot of personals and from conversations with male friends, they always state that a girls' looks do not matter at all, that it is inconsequential


I'm not a guy but I had to laugh when I read the above. Almost all the guys I know openly admit that looks are important and being slim is a must. And from personal experience and looking at my girlfriends, the slim and pretty ones get lots of dates while the intelligent ones have more of a problem. If your friends were right this world would be a very different place so I really question the validity of your sources, sorry.


I'll probably get shot for the generalizations, but what the hey. It's not just that slim women are attractive (they are), it's also the fact that a lot of fat women carry a lot of baggage... and I don't mean weight. Many heavy women also carry a lot of energy around being fat and it shows up in the conversation and/or relationship. Women who carry a lot of excess weight aren't really any different than the male slob who changes clothes once every two weeks. It comes down to feelings about self and looking after one's self and I really don't want to deal with slobs of either sex.

What it really boils down to is this: Men and women form lasting relationships only when the degree of individuation of each person is about the same.

Show me a women who is happy and confident with herself and I'll show you a woman that men want to go out with.

local lass

Postby local lass » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 2:59 pm

Thanks for the invitation Wind In My Hair. But "local lass" would like to remain an observer, not a participant. All the best to the club you're trying to set up!

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 3:59 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote:
local lass wrote:
Wind In My Hair wrote:hey local lass, i'm just curious... did your date with that guest who gave you his email on this forum work out? it's nice to see people making friends online... i met my ex that way and though we broke up i must say it was a good experience on the whole. if you don't mind my being nosey do update me!


No we didn't go on a date. We didn't even meet up. I wasn't comfortable with his emails and we stopped corresponding after the first round. And after his postings on meeting girls in this forum for sex, it seems now that I have reasons to be wary :D


ok so much for that. thanks for the update! i think it's brilliant when you can write someone off before you even start dating... which is one reason i like the internet and emailing / chatting. such a big time saving not to mention it's emotionally lightweight... no risk of broken hearts!

are you open to group dating by the way? a friend of mine advocates it so i'm thinking of organising group events... probably more fun and less stress than one-on-one dating. once i've collected enough emails / phone numbers i'll get round to organising something...


well I met my wife through the internet more than 5 years ago, we emailed for about 6 months, before i finally decided to visit her, half way around the world. She's a very kind woman and i love her to bits, and yes even though she lacks, a little common sense, she is intelligent and well educated.

local lass

Postby local lass » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 4:15 pm

6 months' worth of emailing before meeting up? That's impressive. One of the most common problems nowadays is that people jump into sex, relationships and even marriages even before they get to know each other well. That's why a lot of relationships/marriages don't work out. Guess it's always best to just start off as friends and take your time getting together.

Intelligent

Re: Intelligent Girls

Postby Intelligent » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 4:28 pm

LoveIt wrote:Okay, got a question. I come across a lot of personals and from conversations with male friends, they always state that a girls' looks do not matter at all, that it is inconsequential.

So guys are always saying how they just want an intelligent girl. So to all the men here, is this true? What is your definition of intelligence? What aspects of her personality would you find to be intelligent? Does her career matter? Does how much she earns equate to how intelligent she is?So hope i can get some points from this topic.

P.S. Yes before you lambast me for my lack of intelligence in creating such a thread, i admit i am rather stupid and i think thats the main reason why i am still single :( Anyway, pls answer the questions in a civil manner.:)



The definition of an intelligent person is someone who is well informed about the current affairs and has a very good grasping of what's is going on around them and in this world. Comprehending the world as it is and not as it always should be is vital. A person can be called intelligent/attractive if they display traits which are humane such as love, kindness, empathy, compassion and unselfishness. The only difference between animals that we see in the forest and us is that we have been blessed with an intelligent mind. If we don't develop it further and apply it, then we might as well not call ourselves 'human' and join the ranks of the animal kingdom.:lol:

Intelligence or being intelligent is not the right of the male species only of the human race and it is extremely important not to think that it is. God made male and female in all species and blessed them with brains. Each and every species was given a brain according to the purpose they were born to fulfill, such as, fish, mice, zebras and lions have considerable less brains than humans and that's the reason we have never witnessed Sakespears in the Girraffe kingdom or Aristotle in the kindom of tigers :lol:

The most attractive aspect of a person's personality is their ability to 'reason' and appreciate their purpose in life. This attractive aspect becomes even more attractive when a person is capable of applying reasoning Ethically. This can only be achieved by developing oneself and it is important that this side of our personlities is developed to its full potential otherwise we will lose the purspose for which we are here. When a person is capable of communicating with his fellow beings without prejudices, judgements, and is able to see everyone as their equal and empathize with them, then they can call themselvs 'intelligent' and feel comfortable with it.

Women's roles have changed drastically over the past 100 years or so. Women are not expected to be anyone's personal slaves anymore and they are fully emancipated when compared to their ancient cousins/sisters. We no longer require them to take on the domestic duties of keeping a home and rearing children as our forefathers did, say, during Victorian time or even before that. In fact, women were considered a man's property before the Sufferagettes until their right to vote was granted and unversonally recognized. Now they have equal rights to men in all areas such as education, careers and politics. So, it would be wrong of us to assume that women are only attractive if they have attractive looks and personalities. They must also be in possession of an ATTRACTIVE MIND to be attractive.

A woman's career is as important as a man's career. If we can associate attractiveness/intelligence with a man's career then why should it not be vice versa? Many equate high earnings in a man with being attractive/intelligent. Let me tell you how wrong they are. Would you call him intelligent/attractive if he earned a high income by robbing banks or working for someone who in involved in drug dealings and murdering others??? How about the high earnings of a prostitute?? Not even for one second! So it goes to prove that attractiveness/intelligence of a person has nothing to do with the sums of money they are earning. Intelligence is from within same as attractiveness is and these two cannot be taught at any school, academy or a university. You can become attractive by going to a cosmetic surgeon but the results are 'superficial and fake'.

You have to have intelligence first in order to benefit from education and make the best of all the opportunities that are available to you in your life. In other words intelligence is a main pre-requisite in this life if you wish to make a success of it. If you are not intelligent then you will not be able to recognize a good opportunity even if were barking at your doorstep.

Anyone can gain a university degree, write a book or an article in their professional life or even give talks. Unless and until you are in possession of the prerequisite mentioned above you will not make it to the top , regardless of who you are ie male or female.

I have said all I wanted to and I apologize in advance if by so doing I may have offended some of you . Believe me the intention to do so was negligible.

local lass

Postby local lass » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 4:40 pm

riversandlakes wrote:I think physical attributes attract initially. After which it's the character that decides if the relationship can take off...


For me, I’ve come to realize whether a relationship works out or not depends on how compatible we are. If we have no common interests, we will run out of things to talk about or do together after 2-3months. We also have to enjoy the same kind of lifestyle and have same attitudes to money (i.e. how you spend it, because when you pool your resources together for the wedding, house etc, this will become an issue), sex, religion, children, housework etc. Between someone whom I feel more passionate for and someone who is more compatible, I’m likely to chose the latter over the former because the chances of this relationship working out will be much higher.

shane abdulla

Postby shane abdulla » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 4:48 pm

I think ej has summed it up nicely.

"any gurl could attract a guy with her smooth complexion, big boobs and the what nots. but it takes something deeper than that to make the guy stay.

the problem is.. we are always attracted to a personality. but we forget we have to live with the character"

knowing which is which is the key.

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 4:49 pm

local lass wrote:6 months' worth of emailing before meeting up? That's impressive. One of the most common problems nowadays is that people jump into sex, relationships and even marriages even before they get to know each other well. That's why a lot of relationships/marriages don't work out. Guess it's always best to just start off as friends and take your time getting together.




yes we also chatted almost every single day, it wasn't a lov at first sight thing either, but I was impressed by her looks and was inquisitive why she had not married before, after all, there are many good looking guys around.

I'm 14 years her senior, and she seemed to think that by now I had sowed my wild oats, and was ready for settling down, guys of her own age, appeared to be unfaithful on their wives, so she lost faith in her own countrymen.

We made a pact to succeed for our daughter, rather than say I'll love you forever, conditions were made, that we would do our best, to ensure equality, freedom, and trust. Trust I was lacking in any woman, after my experiences, i'm sure there are many women that feel the same about men also.

However one does sacrifice a great deal to get married, I don't get the 4 holidays a year i used to get, and my hobbies are cut down, becuase I cannot find the time. is it worth it! Sometimes i think not, other times, when i look at my daughter and wife I think yes.

My sincere hope is that my wife and daughter are financially secure, after i have departed this planet. she is a very very kind woman, that does deserve more than i can possibly give.

local lass

Postby local lass » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 5:23 pm

Anonymous wrote:
yes we also chatted almost every single day, it wasn't a lov at first sight thing either, but I was impressed by her looks and was inquisitive why she had not married before, after all, there are many good looking guys around.

I'm 14 years her senior, and she seemed to think that by now I had sowed my wild oats, and was ready for settling down, guys of her own age, appeared to be unfaithful on their wives, so she lost faith in her own countrymen.

We made a pact to succeed for our daughter, rather than say I'll love you forever, conditions were made, that we would do our best, to ensure equality, freedom, and trust. Trust I was lacking in any woman, after my experiences, i'm sure there are many women that feel the same about men also.

However one does sacrifice a great deal to get married, I don't get the 4 holidays a year i used to get, and my hobbies are cut down, becuase I cannot find the time. is it worth it! Sometimes i think not, other times, when i look at my daughter and wife I think yes.

My sincere hope is that my wife and daughter are financially secure, after i have departed this planet. she is a very very kind woman, that does deserve more than i can possibly give.


Marriage involves a lot of work- and sacrifices- indeed. And it’s always inspiring to hear how couples manage to get together despite their differences, and stay together. I’m curious though- how did you decide she was The One despite your distrust in women in general? Don’t mean to be offensive. Sometimes I also feel that I have little faith and hope to draw from your experiences.

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 8:29 pm

local lass wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
yes we also chatted almost every single day, it wasn't a lov at first sight thing either, but I was impressed by her looks and was inquisitive why she had not married before, after all, there are many good looking guys around.

I'm 14 years her senior, and she seemed to think that by now I had sowed my wild oats, and was ready for settling down, guys of her own age, appeared to be unfaithful on their wives, so she lost faith in her own countrymen.

We made a pact to succeed for our daughter, rather than say I'll love you forever, conditions were made, that we would do our best, to ensure equality, freedom, and trust. Trust I was lacking in any woman, after my experiences, i'm sure there are many women that feel the same about men also.

However one does sacrifice a great deal to get married, I don't get the 4 holidays a year i used to get, and my hobbies are cut down, becuase I cannot find the time. is it worth it! Sometimes i think not, other times, when i look at my daughter and wife I think yes.

My sincere hope is that my wife and daughter are financially secure, after i have departed this planet. she is a very very kind woman, that does deserve more than i can possibly give.


Marriage involves a lot of work- and sacrifices- indeed. And it’s always inspiring to hear how couples manage to get together despite their differences, and stay together. I’m curious though- how did you decide she was The One despite your distrust in women in general? Don’t mean to be offensive. Sometimes I also feel that I have little faith and hope to draw from your experiences.


Personally after being introduced to her and her family, I could see just how close they all lived together, being Chinese, she was 36 at the time, and i guess her parents worried that she would be left on the shelf.

My wife wasn't really impressed with her own Countrymen, most unfaithful or had concubines, I believe she would have chosen to remain single, had she not met me.

I'm pretty up front, and laid my cards on the table, this is how it is! I have no intentions of supporting a woman financially, having lost far too much, in other relationships.

The only thing i could promise was my faithfulness, becuase I have never ever cheated on anyone. Sex is very important and i would definately not wait a long time, longer than 3 months, I need to try out the goods, to see if they fit my needs, sounds a little crude i know, but If i was not sexually satisfied, i would drop the person.

It is not about having orgasm, more of how the other person relates to sex and their own bodies, I have met many women that are very naive and ashamed and have difficulty even to undress.

One really does need to be on the same wavelength in sexual matters, for example I have an above average sex need, which i have tried to get medical help for, to slow me down.... I find it quite an embarassment to want sexual release, so one must really be open and truethful.

If a woman doesn't really enjoy sex, then she must make her partner aware of this. My ex now tells me after 4 marriages, that she has never got anything out of sex with anyone, and that is why she drifted, looking for something that isn't available to her. This is a sad situation, so one must be up front from the begining.

To make a commitment is exactly what I made, and I intend to see it through, the benefits of caring and loving seem to have grown over the years. But I am still very aware of the pain of letting my emotions take over, so good sense tells me, to not spoil her, or myself.

In my single days I had no one to answer for, and even when married, one should be allowed a certain freedom, without questions and ear bending, respect his earned and not taken for granted for both partners.

So one should remember that both parties have friends of the opposite sex, this is not always easy, for people from certain classes and cultur.

I've always been attracted to women under the same birth sign has myself, they tend to express their independance the same way. So I went against Chinese astrology and married one, The important thing is to understand eachothers needs, and for me, who is interested in psychology, growth, self awareness and astrology, it is easy to let my wife have centre stage when she needs it.

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Postby Kimi » Mon, 08 Aug 2005 9:11 pm

I'll probably get shot for the generalizations, but what the hey. It's not just that slim women are attractive (they are), it's also the fact that a lot of fat women carry a lot of baggage... and I don't mean weight. Many heavy women also carry a lot of energy around being fat and it shows up in the conversation and/or relationship. Women who carry a lot of excess weight aren't really any different than the male slob who changes clothes once every two weeks. It comes down to feelings about self and looking after one's self and I really don't want to deal with slobs of either sex.


I would say indeed 'tis an unfair generalisation...
I have met several chubby people in both genders (and yes I use chubby cos it sounds nicer and to be honest I'm not really sure whether you actually referred more to obese people whose health are in danger cos of it...) who are happy and kind which imply they don't have big chips on their shoulders.
On the other hand, I have met people who have one of more things others would like to have, such as good looks or heaps of money or wits or even combination of those things, yet still carry baggages or even just simply being mean which seems to be part of personality. Probably that's when we can say life is fair after all as one can't have everything nor can be perfect! :P


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