Anything wrong?

[ceres]

Been having intimate relation with my bf recently. Been using protection of course (condom) but recently half way intercourse it just went "dead". I thought i was the one with problem but he say might be because condom don't give much "feeling" for him. but no matter what still need a protection but he feel kind of disappointed and depress. Any suggestion on this? i can only use contraceptive till my next cycle. So right now what should i do?

[sundaymorningstaple]

If all that he is thinking about is himself, I would suggest finding a new boyfriend.

sms

[kansah]

Your boyfriend may have a problem with premature ejaculation, honey. You shouldn't be experiencing with that kind of problem with a condom. And he's clearly using THAT as an excuse. Whatever you do, don't get pressured into not using a condom. It's for your own protection. And as sms said, better find a another guy if he's that selfish and careless enough to suggest/imply not to use it.

[Guest]

Unless, you wanna make babies

[ceres]

Nono.. he didn't suggest to not use condom at all. It cause all the while we didn't have any problem till lately. he say he doesn't feel much than b4. not sure it's the condom or what. what is premature ejaculation? We often don't have a problem and often end it with ejeculation but yesterday, morning we did and was fine till noon onwards roblem started arising... not sure is it because since tues we've been meeting up till yesterday, 4 days, too much sex thats why? or whats the problem? normally we can do it at least 2 times and never had this problem where half way it "dies" off.

[briceloh]

ask him if his under alot of pressure from work or some other issues. if men have problem maintaining erection, it has to do with sexual dynsfunction. read something abt this a while ago, do a search on SD and u'll probably find more information than what we can give. dnt worry thou, this can be cured. it's been proven before, but get it done asap, as it may affect his confidence level in all things.

[ceres]

but all this while was fine till now... did ask if he is under pressure or not he said no. so u mean sexual dynsfunction can just happen suddenly? hmm, any website on this thing? yea... his been feeling depress and lost confidence whenever he feel like doing it he'll scared and after i persuade and half-way "dies" off he will keep saying sorry... i don't mind it but his very sad about it. So i suggested instead of staying at his home for too long asked him go nearby walk abit to brighten him up. i suggested using contraceptive but have to wait for next mensus cycle, then occasionally we can do it without condom. ( will there be STD or HIV infection if both of us never had any other sexual partner before)

[elizabeth]

So you are saying all this happened so suddenly? May be his pressure is - he is so afraid that it "die" off half way... Try to be more relax.. dont worry about will it "die" off half way.. Or may be both of you can take a break for a week..

[briceloh]

pressure can come from any where. sometimes we just don't realise it. hmmm... i dnt think u shld jump into contraceptive so soon. it does have some side effects for the ladies. thou i may varies. btw, STD and HIV can be contracted from some where else besides just sexual activities. see a doctor for the problem, he can also perform blood tests for u if u want. the results are quite fast nowadays.

[ceres]

i consult doc b4. he ask if we both have other sexual history i said no. Then he say since no what for test...
He never had any girls b4 and i never had any guy b4...
Oh, i'm jumping to contraceptive but still will be using condom occasionally. It's just that we are quite regular these few months, and sometime condom might break or not as effective as contraceptive.
Well, today morning was fine he did it but was a fast one though. 2nd time "dies" off again. 3rd time didn't but was tired and he feel alittle uncomfy so i ask him stop. manage to lessen her pressure of scared "die" off. Hehe, think his better now but still not sure is it a problem or is it the condom type... maybe i'll try new ones after this one used up,

[YF]

The worst thing you can do in these situations is to worry about it. If you worry about it then he will worry about it and then this will happen again and again. A guy has to be enjoying you and the moment, not worrying about if he is going to maintain his erection or not. Like I said, these things can happen but don't let it spiral out of control. If everything was fine before, you just need to let him know that your okay with it. If you start blaming yourself he is going to he harder on himself and this will create more problems.

Hope this helps
-Rob

[collin]

If he can't understand you why care about him?

[Plavt]

Ceres, don' go down the road of not using protection, I am in little doubt you will live to regret it. As a female colleague pointed out to me condoms nowadays are made so thin as to make little difference and I would like to point out this particular colleauge is female and gay. If your'e bf really loves you he will respect your feelings and concerns and seek professional counselling rather than put you in a more risky and worrying situation. I am not just referring to AIDS or other STD's here but if I understand you do not want to get pregnant.

If your'e bf is unwilling to talk or seek professional advice, well I am sorry but he is not worth botherng about, remember love means compromise and understanding. Put simply love sometimes means you have to talk to each other about what hurts most, if you can not then you are in a relationship you had best adbandon. Sorry to be so harsh but sometimes you have to make sacrifices.

My best wishes and concerns and hope you will think - take your time, a hurried decison will be your greatest enemy!