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MALE PRIDE OR IGNORANCE?

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Cant-believe

MALE PRIDE OR IGNORANCE?

Postby Cant-believe » Thu, 21 Jul 2005 9:28 pm

I ve been dating this ang moh guy for a two weeks and last week we decided to 'do it'. I asked if he had a condom and he said no way in hell would he wear one, that he had an Aids test 6 months ago. I asked if he had been sexually active past six months and he stuttered and stammered i guess trying to remember if he had told me something else.
I recall him saying the last time he had sex was a month ago.

We got into this argument and am i stupid or is he? He cant get it that having a test is NOT prevention! I need some info please on where to get details on the time and aids virus takes to rear its head etc.

I of course am stupid and slept with him because I really like him but i am afraid now and regret this bec i know he sleeps around with all sorts of women here and overseas when he travels and he cant understand the need for wearing a condom !!

Please guys, whats this thing about not wearing condoms? If you dont care about yourself thats ok, but dont force women to play this dangerous game of russian roulette!

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Postby kansah » Thu, 21 Jul 2005 9:40 pm

no, i don't think it is male pride, but ignorance. i asked a male friend and he told me that for men, wearing a condom lessens the pleasure for them.

here is a website that might be able to answer your questions. http://www.thebody.com/index.html

but it's best if you get yourself tested right away!

by the way, what is ang moh? :oops:
Think of the solution; not the problem.

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Postby cinder » Thu, 21 Jul 2005 9:50 pm

well, you had argument, and.. you still slept with him. dont blame the man! :roll:

Cant-beleive

Postby Cant-beleive » Thu, 21 Jul 2005 9:52 pm

Do you men THINK it lessens pleasure or you KNOW it lessens pleasure or IS IT ALL IN THE MIND! WHICH GOES TO THE EGO!!!

I know a click is all thats needed but there are some may not be able to reach a link if the office has no internet usage tolinks policy

Safer Sex

by Sandra K. Trisdale, Ph. D.
July 2003


Sexual Harm Reduction
Most people know that serious, even life-threatening infections, like HIV, hepatitis and other sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) can be passed from one person to another through sex. One approach to lowering this risk is called "harm reduction." If you do not want to abstain from sex, harm reduction offers options to make sexual activity safer.



Safer sex isn’t only for the prevention of new HIV infections. It’s important for positives, too. A couple where both partners are HIV+ can use safer sex to prevent co-infection with other STDs that can weaken the immune system. Safer sex can also reduce the possibility of getting reinfected (also called superinfected) with a strain of HIV that is resistant to the drug regimen you are taking.



Since every sexual act that involves sexual fluids has at least some risk, safer sex means using barriers every time. Barriers include condoms (male and female), dental dams, latex gloves, and even plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap). Barriers help reduce risk substantially.



Even though it is the safest thing to do, some couples do not always use barriers. If this is the case, you can still practice some kind of harm reduction.



Practicing Safer Sex
Sometimes the place to start in safer sex is to identify the riskiest thing you do and then think about how you could make that activity less risky. The following are some safer sex tips, starting with the most risky activities and moving to less risky activities:



Penetrative Sex (sex in anus or vagina)
Penetrative sex is considered the highest-risk activity. For both vaginal and anal sex, use latex condoms and lots of water-based lubricant (lube) to prevent the condom from breaking. Lube also helps condoms feel better.



If you’re not going to use condoms, try to reduce the friction by using a heavier lube that will help prevent small cuts or tears in the vagina, rectum or penis. (Because you’re not using latex, Vaseline or Crisco are better than water-based lubes since they last longer.) Also avoid getting semen in the body by having the man pull out before cumming.



Oral Sex
Different studies report different levels of risk for HIV infection during unprotected oral sex. However, most studies find that the risk is low. To make it safer, use latex condoms for oral sex on a man. If you perform oral sex without a condom, finish up with the hand, or spit semen out and rinse with a dental wash rather than swallowing.



Dental dams are large squares made from latex. Plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap) is just as effective. Put some water-based lube on one side of the dam or plastic wrap. Then stretch the dam over the vagina or anus with the lubed side facing down. This gives you a thin barrier between your mouth and the vagina or anus.



If you don’t use a barrier, avoid getting precum, semen or vaginal fluids in your mouth. Avoid vaginal oral sex during menstruation to prevent contact with blood. Bad oral hygiene (bleeding gums, ulcers, gum disease) can make oral sex much riskier. Use a mint instead of brushing your teeth before sex.



Fisting, Handballing, or Fingering
Paper cuts and other openings in the skin can make your hands vulnerable to infection. Wearing latex gloves keeps you protected during hand-vagina or hand-anus sex. Adding lube to the outside of the gloves will increase your partner’s pleasure.



Other safer sex tips: Limit the time and frequency of penetrations. Try non-penetrative sex for a change. For example, consider mutual masturbation. Also get medical attention for any infections or health problems in the genital area.



Thinking it Through
Try and change your ways of thinking that make it difficult for you to practice safer sex. The things you think influence how you act.



Thought: "We slipped once and forgot to use a condom, so it's too late now."

New idea: It's never too late. Yes, even one exposure can be dangerous, but it's not as dangerous as a hundred exposures! If you slipped once, it's time to get back on the wagon.



Thought: "Safer sex is such a drag. It's no fun."

New idea: Here's a great chance to spice up your sex life. Why not take one of the workshops offered on "Eroticizing Safer Sex?" How about getting a book, video, or DVD about hot safer sex?



Thought: "I can't feel anything through condoms!"

New idea: Time to change brands! Getting free condoms at the health office or buying them at a drugstore may be cheap, but you're probably not getting the best around. Try some of the variety packs offered by mail-order sex supply catalogs or hit the "adult love" stores in your area for a better selection. The best condoms are thin but tough and transmit heat and sensation well.



Thought: "My partner absolutely refuses to use a condom."

New idea: How comfortable are you with someone who is willing to put your life at risk? This sounds like a serious issue, and it's probably not the only one in your relationship. Have you considered individual or couple's counseling?



Thought: "I can't suggest to my girl/guy that we get an HIV test. We've been together so long that s/he would take it as an insult."

New idea: How about presenting it as an act of love? "You know, I really love you. We've been together for a while, but we never got tested for HIV. I hate the thought that I could be putting you at risk, because I couldn't stand to hurt you. Why don't we go get tested together for our peace of mind?"


Sometimes the safest thing you can do in sex is keep a clear head. Sex when you are drunk or under the influence of drugs may be most likely to be unsafe.

Guest

Postby Guest » Thu, 21 Jul 2005 11:31 pm

go to pass blood test first

ceres
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Postby ceres » Thu, 21 Jul 2005 11:41 pm

but if u n him is the 1st time and never touch anyone b4 n after still might have HIV or STD?

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Re: MALE PRIDE OR IGNORANCE?

Postby selfish_gene » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 1:04 am

Cant-believe wrote:I asked if he had a condom and he said no way in hell would he wear one, that he had an Aids test 6 months ago.!
HIV has a window period before the antibodies show up in a test. So hypothetically speaking, if he has had an 'unsafe' encounter the night or few days prior to the blood test; it most likely won't pick up anything. That's why it is vital to have a follow-up test about 3 months later to get an all clear status(provided the person has not been sexually active within that period)
Cant-believe wrote:I recall him saying the last time he had sex was a month ago.
Well do your math.....doesn't seem to add up honey.

Cant-believe wrote:I of course am stupid and slept with him because I really like him but i am afraid now and regret this bec i know he sleeps around with all sorts of women here and overseas when he travels and he cant understand the need for wearing a condom !!
You knew and you still went along unprotected?? Kinda late for regrets now hey? Even if it isn't HIV, there's a host of other multiple STDs out there.

Cant-believe wrote:If you dont care about yourself thats ok, but dont force women to play this dangerous game of russian roulette!
Well apparently your man didn't seem to put much 'force' into getting you to go bareback....if you don't have much self restraint that's ok, but don't put the blame entirely on the man's ignorance.

Cant beleive

Re: MALE PRIDE OR IGNORANCE?

Postby Cant beleive » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 9:51 am

selfish_gene wrote:
Cant-believe wrote:I asked if he had a condom and he said no way in hell would he wear one, that he had an Aids test 6 months ago.!
HIV has a window period before the antibodies show up in a test. So hypothetically speaking, if he has had an 'unsafe' encounter the night or few days prior to the blood test; it most likely won't pick up anything. That's why it is vital to have a follow-up test about 3 months later to get an all clear status(provided the person has not been sexually active within that period)
Cant-believe wrote:I recall him saying the last time he had sex was a month ago.
Well do your math.....doesn't seem to add up honey.

Cant-believe wrote:I of course am stupid and slept with him because I really like him but i am afraid now and regret this bec i know he sleeps around with all sorts of women here and overseas when he travels and he cant understand the need for wearing a condom !!
You knew and you still went along unprotected?? Kinda late for regrets now hey? Even if it isn't HIV, there's a host of other multiple STDs out there.

Cant-believe wrote:If you dont care about yourself thats ok, but dont force women to play this dangerous game of russian roulette!
Well apparently your man didn't seem to put much 'force' into getting you to go bareback....if you don't have much self restraint that's ok, but don't put the blame entirely on the man's ignorance.


No blame- as far as me going ahead and sleeping with him- thats entirely my responsibility- i was just shocked that men are rampantly having sex and insisting on NOT wearing condoms!

I want a relationship and my weakness is thinking if i dont sleep with him now he will dump me or if i insist on a condom now or later he will still dump me..

i guess its about my principles

I wish men wouldnt do this- and i guess i wish i was stronger

Guest

Who Is Ignorant

Postby Guest » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 10:28 am

of course am stupid and slept with him because I really like him but i am afraid now and regret this bec i know he sleeps around with all sorts of women here and overseas when he travels and he cant understand the need for wearing a condom !!


Sorry honey don't want to be rude but to me may be the guy is ignorant but what about you? What you did is a suicide (may be him also). I don't want to preach but you just placed your whole life at stake just for a stupid guy. I mean i have heard love is blind but this is just unbelievable. Besides do you really think a guy who dumps you just beacuse you want to do a sensible thing is right for you. :?

i cant believe you

..

Postby i cant believe you » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 2:04 pm

cant believe,

You actually are afraid he'd dump you because you wont sleep with him? Heck that is the lamest and weakest excuse you can give yourself.

You dont even know this guy much and I suspect that you have nothing much in common other than some itch to scratch.You dont even sound like you like that person.

What I dont understand is why local girls who date caucasian men MUST always refer them according to their race. ('ang moh guy". Why not just "guy"?)Are you that desperate to sleep with a white man? Dont be, as there are many out there who wouldn't mind a quick shag, but who are smart enough to use condoms.

Even the blogger Sarong Party Girl is smart enough to use condoms. Learn from your mentor please.

Good luck.

Guest

Postby Guest » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 2:48 pm

Such thing goes on all the time here. The Ang Moh guys are the favourite target for some local gals here. But don't expect the relationship is going to last. These Ang moh just play play only lah, don't delude yourself into thinking they will stay with you if you offer them sex. That's just a fancy of yours.

Most of them come here to work and have fun, then they will go back home to marry a person from their own country. Local gals are treated as an object of pleasure for these people. Please wake up! Don't degrade yourself!

If you have enough dignity, you would not give in to him in the first place.You are courting death by risking your health in such manner! Pitiful!

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Re: MALE PRIDE OR IGNORANCE?

Postby selfish_gene » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 3:29 pm

Cant beleive wrote:i was just shocked that men are rampantly having sex and insisting on NOT wearing condoms!
You don't know men very well do you?

Cant beleive wrote:I want a relationship and my weakness is thinking if i dont sleep with him now he will dump me or if i insist on a condom now or later he will still dump me..
What are you 12???

Cant beleive wrote:i guess its about my principles
I'm not from Harvard but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say yes...that's probably it.

Cant beleive wrote:I wish men wouldnt do this- and i guess i wish i was stronger
No....men will always do this...

dot dot dot
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Re: MALE PRIDE OR IGNORANCE?

Postby dot dot dot » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 3:38 pm

selfish_gene wrote:
Cant-believe wrote:I asked if he had a condom and he said no way in hell would he wear one, that he had an Aids test 6 months ago.!
HIV has a window period before the antibodies show up in a test. So hypothetically speaking, if he has had an 'unsafe' encounter the night or few days prior to the blood test; it most likely won't pick up anything. That's why it is vital to have a follow-up test about 3 months later to get an all clear status(provided the person has not been sexually active within that period)
Cant-believe wrote:I recall him saying the last time he had sex was a month ago.
Well do your math.....doesn't seem to add up honey.

Cant-believe wrote:I of course am stupid and slept with him because I really like him but i am afraid now and regret this bec i know he sleeps around with all sorts of women here and overseas when he travels and he cant understand the need for wearing a condom !!
You knew and you still went along unprotected?? Kinda late for regrets now hey? Even if it isn't HIV, there's a host of other multiple STDs out there.

Cant-believe wrote:If you dont care about yourself thats ok, but dont force women to play this dangerous game of russian roulette!
Well apparently your man didn't seem to put much 'force' into getting you to go bareback....if you don't have much self restraint that's ok, but don't put the blame entirely on the man's ignorance.


It is not '3 months or so' it has an incubation time up to 6 months, so you better get yourself checked again, although I would not mind if you won't, given your disgusting views here on this forum.

Eric

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Postby Guest » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 4:01 pm

I am guessing if some local gals regard Ang moh as a kind of branded label.
It is unbelieveable that they can have sex with any of these ang moh people so easily. Does having a relationship with one of them elevates you to a higher level of status?

All SPG probably have a kind of delusion for branded labels, they are so ignorant.

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Postby Bafana » Fri, 22 Jul 2005 5:07 pm

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing if some local gals regard Ang moh as a kind of branded label.
It is unbelieveable that they can have sex with any of these ang moh people so easily. Does having a relationship with one of them elevates you to a higher level of status?

All SPG probably have a kind of delusion for branded labels, they are so ignorant.


Whats that got to do with having unprotected sex???

Just to reiterate an earlier discussion to allow this one to get back on track - SPG's are great, tradiaonal gals are great, expat girls are great, get a job, get a life, get a girlfirend (or maintain boyfriend accordingly to your curent sexual preference lah). Leave my SPG sisters alone lah :twisted:

BTW I saw battery powered vibrating condoms for sale in Watsons Novena Square yesterday. I was gonna buy a pair but I was worried it might short circuit if the condom broke lah and wasn't sure at the price of 14 sing per pair whether you could re-use them :shock:


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