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Women and cheating

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Guest

Women and cheating

Postby Guest » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 3:38 am

I was at my girlfriend's (of 2 years) the otherday and she had left her MSN window open. Looking at it I saw that she had been bragging to her friend about how she slept with some guy on her recent 1-month vacation. From the sounds of it, this wasn't the first time. Needless to say I gave her the boot and NOW she is apologetic and remorseful.

Anyways, don't feel to bad, I am taking it very well. I wasn't really sure she was the one for me anyways; I was a great bf so I have nothing to feel bad about. This was about her, not me.

Now to the heart of the question: how often do women cheat on their bf or husbands? I know guys have a bad rap for this, and yes, it s true guys often cheat. I won't let myself get into that situation but I know guys who have. One thing that is interesting though is that from my exposure, guys who are cheating often break up with the gf's only the real dirtbags keep it going like nothing happened but in my experience that has not been a large percentage. Girls on the otherhand seem to be much more sly about it, and I get the feeling that they do it just as much as guys do but are much more cunning about it. Moreover, they seem to stay with the partner they are with. I was reading a recent study which said that up to 1 in 7 children were not the real child of the father! I mean thats just slipping one by the goalie! How many other times does this happen?

On another note, I also heard about a study in which women, thinking they were taking a lie detector test, when being asked how many partners they had, said twice as many as girls who were not taking lie detector tests. Guys were basically the same on the other hand. What is going on here? Are we being decived guys?

I would like to have this discussion but to avoid people jumping on a moral highground I think it would be MORE interesting if people posted what they thought about this *anonymously*, perhaps stating your sex. Girls, I would be particularly interested in hearing from you, since no doubt you hear things that guys never would about other women (or your own experiences)

Free as a bird.

Postby Free as a bird. » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 6:49 am

Hey welcome to the real world. Yep, women cheat as much as men, because we can. The only surprising thing about it is that men are surprised that we do. Why? It's only what you have been doing for generations but now we are in control of our fertility. Do not laugh, the pill or other methods of contraception have made us as free as you. So my advice is, accept it. Not all women are cheaters but all women now have the option to be, if they want to be, like you men have had for time immemorial.

Guest

Postby Guest » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 10:19 am

Why accept it? I don't think its acceptable when a guy cheats either. I just don't date guys. And again, I am suggesting it might be worse because in my experience anyways, guys seem more likley to break it off when they have cheated.

Guest-Y

Postby Guest-Y » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 12:26 pm

well, not make things worse, but from my (recent) experience, the news is not good

in trying to meet some women here, for both good and bad I guess reasons, meaning as proper lady friends and as ships in the night to pass the time, I was quite surprised about the number of women here who are looking for outside action, and some with foriengers, some foriengers only, others don't seem to discriminate, and of course, those for 'locals' only - I quote locals because within that there are those with preferances within that category of men

doesn't matter, thing is, adultery is rampant here, and just as the men are off to Batam, the women are on the prowl on the internet - I know from experience, and you can too just by checking out the various websites, you may even find someone you know there

one such local lady - 38, local husband, two children, very slight in build and very pedestrian looking, is actually a remarkable sexual dynamo, has a thing for white guys - she tried to get her husband to sleep with other women, so that that would validate her sleeping around on her own

he didn't go for it, suspected her for the suggestion as well as the less-and-less sex he is getting as a result of her having various sex freinds around town and spacing out her encounters with being a wife and mother

naturally she lied about it, and he is none the wiser, but what he doesn't know is (I'm honestly not making any of this stuff up) is that in her quest for sex partners is also for the 'right' guy to not only have sex with, but one who is willing to have sex with her while she is having sex with other guys at the same time, and also to take her to sex (swapping) parties

and she told me, a stranger, all about this, but looking at her, I would never have put the two together - she is definitely your typical Chinese married lady next door, and just one example of ones I've met online here

(nothing happened in this case)

Guest-Y

Postby Guest-Y » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 12:48 pm

another topic with similar stories, check out vit_c's entry p1

http://www.singaporeexpats.com/forum/ftopic6802-0.html

kahlan
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Postby kahlan » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 1:44 pm

I think that women have been cheating long before now, same as the men have been doing since I don't know when. After all, they are of the same species right? The only difference between the two being their genders. Aside from that, both parties must have the same kind of need for everything else.

And yes, the women who opt to cheat have to be sly about it, because their reputation is on the line. If society finds her out, she is labelled a s***. Whereas if it's a man, we'll just shrug is off and attribut the behavior towards his gender. In some places, it is an honour for men to have cheated because he becomes more masculine.

And the reason why this is becoming more prevalent these days? Because: the sexual revolution in the 60s, society's perception is changing and the contraceptives as well. Let's say, it is more effective than the method used in the old days :wink: .

cinder
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Postby cinder » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 2:22 pm

it was difficult - and even no chance - for women to cheat in the past. now, women is doing the same things as men. they work, the ones not working are having their own activites. everybody can access internet, go pub, lunch with pals (opposite sex) etc etc. that's why you hear (or experience? :wink: ) things more and more.

the basic is, men and women are human. so, what do you expect? :lol: the society made the myth that only men are able to cheat. why surprise to read a story bout that local married lady - she's a person, with her own characters, mind and thoughts. if you've never heard things before, it's just because no chances the things happened in the past (or just you've never heard it :lol: )

kahlan
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Postby kahlan » Sun, 17 Jul 2005 2:33 pm

cinder wrote:it was difficult - and even no chance - for women to cheat in the past. now, women is doing the same things as men. they work, the ones not working are having their own activites. everybody can access internet, go pub, lunch with pals (opposite sex) etc etc. that's why you hear (or experience? :wink: ) things more and more.

the basic is, men and women are human. so, what do you expect? :lol: the society made the myth that only men are able to cheat. why surprise to read a story bout that local married lady - she's a person, with her own characters, mind and thoughts. if you've never heard things before, it's just because no chances the things happened in the past (or just you've never heard it :lol: )


exactly :!:

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 1:00 am

Why am I suprised? One of the reasons is because women perpetuate this belief. Second, most of the guys I know wont/don't cheat on their girlfriends, is it too much to ask the same? I guess what I am saying is that are women actually *worse* because they are more cunnin about it? Putting on innocent airs. I mea the guys I know who cheat, well it is pretty obvious from who they are that thats what they are all about. With girls on the otherhand, you don't get any such clues and so how do you know which ones are the good ones. Like I said, I am not going to cheat, and I don't think its too much to ask to have the same wwith you partner??

kahlan
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Postby kahlan » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 1:31 am

No. There are no worse people.

Ask any woman and she'll tell you that it's the men who are worse. And it isn't like we women hide the fact that members of our own sex cheat. It's the same as it is apparent for you if a man cheats. Women too have no way of knowing which men are cheaters and which aren't.

And we ask the same question as you do. Is it too much to ask our partners to remain faithful to us?

Come to think of it, you, me nor anybody who hasn't cheated before can answer that question. It is only the people themselves who are or has cheated who can answer it! Because they don't think the same way we do.

So, to those qualified to answer, is it? 8)
Last edited by kahlan on Mon, 18 Jul 2005 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

kahlan
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Postby kahlan » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 1:34 am

Anonymous wrote:One of the reasons is because women perpetuate this belief.


No, we don't. Believe me, we are equally shocked and disgusted with women cheaters. And they hide their true nature among us women as well. So, you can hardly blame the womenfolk who condemn cheating because they are usually the ones who are faithful.

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 3:42 am

To all the girls:

Again, this would be better to answer *anonymously*, but maybe you could comment on how many of your girl friends, or yourself, cheat on their bf or husbands. 10%, 20%? 90%?

From the guys I know, I would say 30%, and of those 30% most would break it off if they did cheat. Only a couple guys I know would stay with their girl.

guest female

modern day cheaters

Postby guest female » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 10:37 pm

Yes I've cheated and so have some of my friends, but it has usually come at a time when feeling insecure has been an issue, often towards the end of a relationship. In this modern age, keeping in touch with old flames, new flames and bad flames is far too easy. Traditionally, males have been the ones with the stereotypical black book, but now everyone is walking round with a black book of sorts, in the form of a phone. Too many temptations available at drunken straying fingertips.

Wind In My Hair

Postby Wind In My Hair » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 11:01 pm

Of the people I know who have cheated, twice as many men as women do so. I don't think women are more cunning though, they tend to voluntarily confess the episode out of guilt, whereas men seem quite happy to never mention it and only deal with it when the woman somehow finds out.

SydneyLuma

Postby SydneyLuma » Mon, 18 Jul 2005 11:07 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote:Of the people I know who have cheated, twice as many men as women do so. I don't think women are more cunning though, they tend to voluntarily confess the episode out of guilt, whereas men seem quite happy to never mention it and only deal with it when the woman somehow finds out.


True, men are so good at keeping it quiet and denying it even when the proof is staring at them in the face!! There's more men doing the cheating than women. They will use every excuse in the book at yes, sometimes the woman stays because she is trying to tell the guy in an indirect way, hey, i love u, i know you are an asshole with the potential to turn yourself around, why dont you?


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