After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form,
called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about
problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the
problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints
submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded
by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has
never had an accident.
----------------------------------------
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
----------------------------------------
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
----------------- -----------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
----------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
----------------------------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
----------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
----------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
----------------------------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
----------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
----------------------------------------
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
---------------------- ------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
---------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
----------------------------------------
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
----------------------------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
----------------------------------------
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
SINGAPORE EXPATS FORUM
Singapore Expat Forum and Message Board for Expats in Singapore & Expatriates Relocating to Singapore
Solutions to Qantas airlines problems
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
- 7 Replies
- 569 Views
-
Last post by Lisafuller
Thu, 24 Nov 2022 9:45 pm
-
-
How to prevent border problems for visiting girlfriend?
by hans46 » Tue, 16 Oct 2018 2:21 pm » in Staying, Living in Singapore - 4 Replies
- 4121 Views
-
Last post by hans46
Tue, 16 Oct 2018 5:23 pm
-
-
-
Any problems with undischarged bankrupt renewing passport?
by kangnguyen » Sat, 30 Nov 2019 5:08 pm » in General Discussions - 1 Replies
- 3111 Views
-
Last post by PNGMK
Mon, 02 Dec 2019 10:09 am
-
-
-
Singapore Airlines nonstop to New York and LA
by Shikakui » Sat, 28 Apr 2018 12:33 am » in Latest News & Current Affairs - 9 Replies
- 8560 Views
-
Last post by archcherub
Tue, 27 Aug 2019 10:03 am
-
-
- 3 Replies
- 3116 Views
-
Last post by KCWK
Mon, 09 Jul 2018 6:53 pm
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest