Singapore Expats

If I could Only...

Chats, Flames, Jokes, Junks. Don't know where to post ? You've just found the right place.
Post Reply
User avatar
Posts: 194
Joined: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 7:08 pm
Location: Paradise

If I could Only...

Post by mad » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 9:18 pm

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself,

"I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers,

"Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be
meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so

"Okay," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself,

"Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."

The same stranger moves to his side and says,

"Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure."

He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another
eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side

"Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this

The golfer says, "Certainly!"

He makes the eagle. As the golfer walks to the clubhouse, the stranger
walks alongside and says,

"You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know
who I am. I'm the Devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," says the golfer.

"My name's Father Mat." :P

User avatar
Strong Eagle
Posts: 11592
Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004 12:13 am
Answers: 10
Location: Off The Red Dot

Post by Strong Eagle » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 9:43 pm

Joe is teeing off from the Back Tees. On his downswing he realizes that his
wife Mary is teeing up on the Red Tees directly in his way. Unable to stop
his swing he nails it and hits her directly in the temple and kills her

A few days later Joe gets a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.

Coroner: "Joe, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to
the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that

Joe: "Yes sir, that's correct"

Coroner: "Joe, I also found a golf ball wedged up her butt"

Joe: "Was it a Titleist Three?"

Coroner: "Yes, it was"

Joe: "That was my mulligan"

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Last post

Return to “Leisure Chat, Jokes, Rubbish”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests