This guy must be from Yorkshire

Fohls · Post by **Fohls** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 3:29 pm

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said.

dot dot dot · Post by **dot dot dot** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 3:33 pm

Eric

sapphire · Post by **sapphire** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 3:59 pm

aww, thats just so mean! poor thing!

Fohls · Post by **Fohls** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 4:01 pm

When you put your dress back on did you slap him?

sapphire · Post by **sapphire** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 4:07 pm

Fohls wrote:When you put your dress back on did you slap him?

Looking for trouble, aren't you?

Fohls · Post by **Fohls** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 4:16 pm

As always

sapphire · Post by **sapphire** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 4:35 pm

alright, u wanted me to cook some curry for u, be prepared for the runs to the loo. still up for it?

Fohls · Post by **Fohls** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 5:49 pm

Hurt me

dot dot dot · Post by **dot dot dot** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 6:02 pm

careful with the zipper fohls, otherwise you might hurt yourself instead...

Eric

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 6:23 pm

Very funny but sarcastic!!!

sapphire · Post by **sapphire** » Thu, 07 Jul 2005 7:02 pm

Fohls wrote:Hurt me

Good God, I give up!

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Fri, 08 Jul 2005 8:36 am

Ayup lad, thee takin the mick owt a Yorksireman again?

Yorkshiremen born and bred, strong in the arm and thick in the head.

H.

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Fri, 08 Jul 2005 8:50 am

An American was going for a job interview in the Yorkshire countryside and on the way out he asked a local farmer for directions, "Excuse me dude, could you possibly tell me the quickest way to London?" The farmer said: "You driving or walking, lad?" The American replied: "Driving." The farmer nodded, saying: "Yup, definitely the quickest way."

Yorkshiremen: Love em or leave em but never ignore em.

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Fri, 08 Jul 2005 8:55 am

At the Metropolitan Art Gallery in New York a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three totally naked black men sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy. The curator of the gallery realised that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He explained how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact," he pointed out,"some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, a Yorkshireman approached the couple and said,"Would tha like to know what t'painting 's really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.

"Cus I'm the fella what painted it," he replied. "In fact, there's no African Americans in it at all. They're just three Yorkshire coal miners.

The lad in t'middle went home for his dinner."

Uh_huh · Post by **Uh_huh** » Fri, 15 Jul 2005 11:06 am

Wow, the miner in the center ate himself........(What really going to shake your cup is...I'm assuming he's not married)

Feline flexibility..........

He's even better than Ben Stiller with a chainsaw zipper.....

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This guy must be from Yorkshire

This guy must be from Yorkshire

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