Not Tonight dear.......

[Global Citizen]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am d not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that! nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smi! ling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[Guest]

Interesting!!! Well, man and woman are different..the key is compromise..if you want to stay together for long..know why the divorce rate is on the rise..world wide..??? Hope you two can cancel negate your differences and live and be happy ever after.
Have fun
www.my4life.com/bernard

[Guest]

damn good one!!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am d not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that! nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smi! ling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[Weiss]

Bravo .. a nice one

[elizabeth]

So you just want to put her on test.. I guess she must have walked out of the department store with anger or disappointement. So she must also have break off with you.. Anyway to her she will feel that you have gone too much with you act.. Something she wont understand and cant accpet..

[Alfalfa]

Oh wow! That is mean .. but I guess she deserve it.. I expect her to want some hugs and kisses instead of all those material comforts...

Honestly sometimes we ladies just want to be cuddled up to.. thats all..

But I must say what you did was somewhat clever in a way of getting rid of someone after your money! So bravo!

[Global Citizen]

Just want to clarify that I posted a joke and none of it applies to me as a few of you (oops) seem to be under that impression!

Glad you enjoyed it though. I aim to please.

[fluff35]

I don't think that they get the fact that it was just a joke Global.
Very funny LOL