Partly True!

Alfalfa · Post by **Alfalfa** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 10:38 am

After all those comments from the "Mysterious Guest" or shall I say the "PT Troll".. I think ..Men Are Hard To Please don't you think...

The problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't they say u are selfish.....
Send this to guys out there anyway...

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 10:42 am

Alfalfa,

Humph, you beat me to setting up your own thread lol. So thats where you been. Chatting with Fluff on my post in this section called English Gent. Join in?

Alfalfa · Post by **Alfalfa** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 10:58 am

No, I wasn't taking time posting that really... thanks for the invite on yours.. a colleague sent that to me and hey it's good stuff.. hmm

I now we are free to say anythign without hijacking other posters post...lol

kansah · Post by **kansah** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 11:50 am

Hi Alfalfa,

Yep, everything here IS true. And yes, let's do hope that personal "troll" of yours reads this thread from the beginning. I couldn't help myself laughing at how he made such a fool of himself. If I'd known how interesting was your subject, I would have started reading it days ago.

Tsk tsk tsk. Missed out on all the fun.

Going back to your post below, I have to wonder, does some man have a post similar to it? This time, about women, hehehe. I would like to read that and debate him on every point, hehehe

Alfalfa wrote:After all those comments from the "Mysterious Guest" or shall I say the "PT Troll".. I think ..Men Are Hard To Please don't you think...

The problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't they say u are selfish.....
Send this to guys out there anyway...

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 11:56 am

I feel a hijacking coming on......

Three guys are sitting in a bar when the first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have an automatic garage door."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she has a cellular phone antenna on her car and she doesn't even have a cellular phone."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of rubbers and she doesn't even have a dick."

Sorry.

H

kansah · Post by **kansah** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:19 pm

Ooops, sorry guys. Didn't mean to start a hijack, just got me thinking, is all.

English Gent, that is a very funny story. Keep 'em coming.

fluff35 · Post by **fluff35** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:24 pm

Here is one to counter yours EG

Mother Nature

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods. Harry, his partner had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond. Fred looked for a long time, getting angrier every minute. Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball. Instead of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single buttercup in that patch.

Suddenly, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life.....better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.....as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF!...she was gone.

After Fred got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, "Harry!... Harry!... where are you?"

Harry yells, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows."

Fred screams back..... "DON'T SWING!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!! DON'T SWING!!!"

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:24 pm

Dear Kansah,

Worried I upset Alfalfa (they hunt in packs around here you knowb lol). Oooooooops, hijacked again. Sorry Alfalfa.

Alfalfa · Post by **Alfalfa** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:26 pm

hahaha.. dare you do something to them PUSSY WILLOWS...

kansah · Post by **kansah** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:36 pm

Just got this in my mail:

Wife has the last say....

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill" She ignores the remark.

A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well.

Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:37 pm

Thanks Fluff, noted. Hum, seems like the ladies are looking to bash up the men around here. Testing to see whether we have any coglione (balls) is it? lol

H

English Gent · Post by **English Gent** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:41 pm

nice one Kansah

kansah · Post by **kansah** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:41 pm

Nah, just some old long deserved spanking maybe.

Alfalfa · Post by **Alfalfa** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:42 pm

This is cute...

Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

Love: A romantic candle-light dinner for two
Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals . . . to go

Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet

Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: What's sex?

Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice

Love: French perfume
Lust: Brut aftershave
Marriage: "The baby needs changing. . ."

Love: Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust: "I can think of a way to stay warm . . ."
Marriage: Your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets

Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands . . .

Love: Finding the "Fell in Love on AOL" room
Lust: Finding the "Blonde Dominatrix" room
Marriage: Finding the "Married and Looking" room

Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat

kansah · Post by **kansah** » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:49 pm

Here's another, and then I'm outta here:

What a woman says and a Man hears

What a woman says:
"This place is a mess!
C'mon, you and I need to clean,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears:
"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW"

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