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Is life FAIR?! Or maybe not...I'm Confused..

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B|ackIce
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Is life FAIR?! Or maybe not...I'm Confused..

Postby B|ackIce » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 2:48 pm

There's been times that i think life was really unfair.. No matter how good i treat my friends & be loyal to them, they still tend to drift away from me some how. Or take me for granted.
There is a saying, "What goes around, comes around". I dont think its happening in this case... why?! can anyone tell me what could be the reasons??
|ife is Fair, |ive it Or |eave it!

Girly

Re: Is life FAIR?! Or maybe not...I'm Confused..

Postby Girly » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 2:56 pm

B|ackIce wrote:There's been times that i think life was really unfair.. No matter how good i treat my friends & be loyal to them, they still tend to drift away from me some how. Or take me for granted.
There is a saying, "What goes around, comes around". I dont think its happening in this case... why?! can anyone tell me what could be the reasons??


i donno what is the reason cos most people r selfish. Just be strong, dont expect anything from them cos if you expect you will get disapointed. just dont expect anything thats all.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 2:56 pm

Doesn't really matter whether life is "fair" or "unfair"... that's a judgment that buys you nothing.

Life happens... control is only an illusion. What matters is what you do.

What are you seeking from your friends? Loyalty? Perhaps they cannot give it. Perhaps they are the wrong friends.

Don't try so hard to be a friend. Be what is the authentic you. Those that see it will choose to be your friend... those that cannot... well, it's their loss, not yours.

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Postby B|ackIce » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 3:24 pm

hi Strong Eagle,
But it seems like the course mates in my level is havng this invisible barrier with me. Some say that i could be the cold appearance that i have or the aloof image that i portray. So i decided to make the 1st move by smiling & saying 'Hi' whenever i see them, since last semester. They can have lots of conversations with you today(which ended happily of course), but act as if they do not know you the next day. Unless you make the 1st move and start all over again.
Till today (half a yr later), its still the same. Is it a typical behaviour of local?? As i had never experienced it overseas before, so does my mum.

B.I
|ife is Fair, |ive it Or |eave it!

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 3:53 pm

B|ackIce wrote:hi Strong Eagle,
But it seems like the course mates in my level is havng this invisible barrier with me. Some say that i could be the cold appearance that i have or the aloof image that i portray. So i decided to make the 1st move by smiling & saying 'Hi' whenever i see them, since last semester. They can have lots of conversations with you today(which ended happily of course), but act as if they do not know you the next day. Unless you make the 1st move and start all over again.
Till today (half a yr later), its still the same. Is it a typical behaviour of local?? As i had never experienced it overseas before, so does my mum.

B.I


Personally I find that with Singaporeans, they may know you, but either lack confidence to approach you to chat, or they don't wish to.
I am much older than you I believe, and many times in my youth, I asked my mum, why have I no friends, that knock on my door, why is it I must always run after them.

I stopped running after them, weired, but I have always felt much stronger than them, more confident and out going, I decided not to thing so much about it.

Think more about yourself, be polite, and speak to those, you wish to speak to, if they don't wish to speak back, that is also their loss.

I later found out from my school friends, it was because their parents wouldn't allow them to visit, the area were I lived, it had developed since the the 50's, up into the 2005 into a dumping area for criminals and social drop outs, notorious for gangs and fighting. Which it was.

Fortunately i had a cool mum, that raised us very well, and on the right track, ever since I was 5 year old, I have been a fighter, and would never accept bullying of anyone. I ofen go back to the area, to see if things have changed, I still know some of the families, and they have invited me home many times for tea and a chat.

Some people are born unlucky, even myself, but I never dwell on it, because there are many more people worse off than myself. which touches my emotions, believe it or not.

You can only be yourself, do not try to be someone you are not. becuase that may turn into a very bad habit, a very unhealthy one.

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Postby B|ackIce » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 4:59 pm

Hi Ksl,
Thank You very much for the reply. I feel much better now.. JUst a curious question. Where were you from? How long have you been staying in Singapore?

Best Rgds
B.I
|ife is Fair, |ive it Or |eave it!

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Postby English Gent » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 5:46 pm

Think. Have you done anything to bring on this behaviour they show towards you in any way? I take it you are not a local? If you are an expat, settling in can always be tough, don't give up.

H
Looking to meet or chat with interesting woman from all over...and eat them.

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Wed, 29 Jun 2005 5:46 pm

B|ackIce wrote:Hi Ksl,
Thank You very much for the reply. I feel much better now.. JUst a curious question. Where were you from? How long have you been staying in Singapore?

Best Rgds
B.I


http://www.blink.org.uk/mhussein/malspeach.htm

You should never feel bad with yourself, take it all in your stride. The main thing in this life is to remain on the right side of the law. You know the difference between right and wrong. do not become encouraged by others, just to prove that you are not chicken. that would be stupidity and immature.

Hold your head up with pride, and respect, it's your innerself that needs to shine with confidence, you have it, or you would not approach people to say hello.

So just continue at schoold, to say hi guy's how are you, a little small chat, and then make an excuse like your busy, and move on, if they are friendly and have confidence in them selves, they will eventually contact you. It is normal practise for guys to gather in groups, and not let others in, if they try to join the group.

One needs to be invited into the group, just think of it has no big deal, just stay polite with head held high. It will normally piss them off to see you happy every morning and friendly.

Also there is bound to be one that is the center of attraction, the boss, leader of the group, he probably would feel threatend by a new person, because the attention is taken away from him then. Do you get my drift?

It's no big deall just keep to your studies and remain polite. Some kids can be damn challenging believe me, I learnt, at an early age, that I wasn't going to be bullied, or controlled by anyone.

I was head butting bullies by the time i was 10, once they know your not afraid, these types will back off. So it is advisable to learn a few things about defence, even though you may never need it. it is the element of surprise.

We used to have a boxing ring in the garden, my father used to train, young kids to box instead of fighting in the street, Our school system being boys only back in the 50's and 60's in uniform, gave other school kids the ammunition to fight it out. Charater building the Brits call it.

So it is better you keep to yourself, and let friendship grow in its own time. Well from the thread above you will get an idea what poverty and crime is all about. Racism, not really, I do know personally all parties involved, the main cause was arrogance and suspicion that every kid was stealing in his shop.

So all the kids rebelled and started to steal from him, it became a sport. But it is wrong that the police and authorities ignored the calls for help, even from me, when the riots used to be outside my property.

He claimed racism because of the destruction of property prices, and it was an ideal situation to get the publicity to back his campaign, basically he was looking at his own self interest, and not others. I lost big time on my property 70,000 grand i guess.

I still visit the shop and we talk quite openly, because I am basicallly on his side, and i could negociate with the culprits involved to a certain extent, onviously some didn't like the idea, and smashed my property up also, on several occassion.

But they haven't the balls to confront me? and that's what i mean about bullies and hard cases, they really don't like the challenge of proving, that they are not harder, than a baseball bat. I didn't get my nick physcho for nothing

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Postby singaporegirl79 » Thu, 30 Jun 2005 2:20 am

B|ackIce,

May I ask where are you from? I think people are generally friendly in Singapore. Maybe they did not act as if they do not know you. Sometimes, we can also be abit cold. everyone needs their silence moment or being with their close friends. Perhaps, relationships between your course mates are close and they still treat you like a stranger. All you have to do is to get to know them better, ask more about them and get to know them and don't forget to tell them more about yourself. When they fully get to know you, I am sure they will accept you.

It always take abit of time to get to know the locals. We can be abit lazy when it comes to mingling around with foreigners :wink:



B|ackIce wrote:hi Strong Eagle,
But it seems like the course mates in my level is havng this invisible barrier with me. Some say that i could be the cold appearance that i have or the aloof image that i portray. So i decided to make the 1st move by smiling & saying 'Hi' whenever i see them, since last semester. They can have lots of conversations with you today(which ended happily of course), but act as if they do not know you the next day. Unless you make the 1st move and start all over again.
Till today (half a yr later), its still the same. Is it a typical behaviour of local?? As i had never experienced it overseas before, so does my mum.

B.I

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Postby B|ackIce » Fri, 01 Jul 2005 12:48 am

Hi Singaporegirl79,
Yes. i'm not a local(i'm born in HK), but i grew up in Singapore. I've migrated to Singapore when i was 8yrs old, so its been 11 over yrs since i had moved here. Therefore, I don't really think i can be considered a foreigner (except for my appearance which is quite different from local). As more than half of my life time was spent in Singapore. :wink:

Rgds
B.I
|ife is Fair, |ive it Or |eave it!

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Postby B|ackIce » Fri, 01 Jul 2005 12:55 am

English Gent wrote:Think. Have you done anything to bring on this behaviour they show towards you in any way?


Hi English Gent,
The problem is i've done nothing bad/ungraceful to them because my course mates and i are not close enough to have any conflicts going on. I'm a person who really treasure friendships, so much that even my ex-bf was jealous some of the time. Hahaha...

Rgds
B.I :D
|ife is Fair, |ive it Or |eave it!

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Postby Guest » Fri, 01 Jul 2005 1:03 pm

You can't control how others are to react to your kindness but you can control the limit of being nice to someone. We human beings often take things and people for granted but as long as you are not ungrateful to ppl when they are nice to you then thats all it takes. No point getting upset over ppl who drifted away as they are not meant to be in your life. If you allow youself to use another angle to view this experience, you would find it useful as it would somehow teaches you something. No matter what, always believe it that everything happens for a reason and that you can learn from it. Its worthless but yet priceless...

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Postby ksl » Fri, 01 Jul 2005 4:00 pm

B|ackIce wrote:
English Gent wrote:Think. Have you done anything to bring on this behaviour they show towards you in any way?


Hi English Gent,
The problem is i've done nothing bad/ungraceful to them because my course mates and i are not close enough to have any conflicts going on. I'm a person who really treasure friendships, so much that even my ex-bf was jealous some of the time. Hahaha...

Rgds
B.I :D

Sorry Blackice, I automatically thought you was male,(stupid of me)
Girls I suppose are also cliche in friendships and also bitchy jealous. But I'm sure if you chat to them often and for a short time, they will invite you into their crowd. I have noticed at the playground where i take my daughter, that most kids here are really quite shy.

no future in malaysia

Postby no future in malaysia » Fri, 01 Jul 2005 8:49 pm

Big deal!

While the stupid malays scream and shout, the non-malays quietly dominate the economy of this country.

The malays can keep their special rights and privileges. I don't need it. If this is what having special rights and privileges mean, I would rather be like the non-malays who have nothing but are laughing all the way to the bank.

Malay rights means, if you are Umno malay, you get university seat even you are fool……….that's the right what we are talking about.

Malay rights means, you must be given 5% discount whenever you are buying a new house. No matter how rich you are……….that's the right what we are talking about.

Malay rights means, you must be given shares. Once you got, you can sell it to non-malay and keeps on asking for one after another……….that's the right what we are talking about.

Malay rights means, it's the duty and responsibility of government to keep them feeding with sliver and golden spoon……….The non-malays should not ask anything even the non-malays voted for BN.

Lastly, the malays will never learn anything other than blaming non-malays for their failure.

What malays should realise when they curse Umno is the indubitable truth that despite 30 years of handouts, subsidies, undeserved jobs in the public sector, undeserved overseas scholarships, undeserved places in public education, lavish expenditure of tax payers (mainly non-malays) money on all things Islamic, the state of the malays today is indeed as described, which in short is, pathetic.

Who is to blame? Not Umno or implicitly the Chinese, but malays themselves.

Can you just imagine how primitive they would have been if Umno had not existed, if May 13 had not occurred and if the perversion of the NEP had not transpired?

No race in history has proposed without application, cohesiveness, diligence, hard work and ingenuity.

These words are anathema to malays and so after all the handouts that no other race in the world in the history of mankind has got, they still look rather pathetic.

Pragmatic malays know it and so in Malaysia the Bumis policy will carry on forever, until stopped by forces other than malays.

I long for that day!

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Postby Global Citizen » Sat, 02 Jul 2005 11:57 pm

To:- no future in malaysia

While I appreciate that you're filled with anguish and animosity towards Malaysia, it still doesn't give you the right to hijack someone else's thread on an entirely different subject matter.

I've seen this time and again with the 'anti- Malaysia' sentiment posters. In this particular forum, there's another active thread with posts echoing the same perspective and mind you some are the exact same messages and I mean word for word that I've seen posted on many different occasions, on this board.. What gives? Do some of you just cut , paste and circulate the same posts every few days to give credence to your views?

You would better serve your purpose if you practised some netiquette by not ambushing threads to further your own agenda.

Having said all that, I do wish you well and hope things do turn around for you.


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