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Strange but true?

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Fohls
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Strange but true?

Postby Fohls » Fri, 24 Jun 2005 5:59 pm

Did you know that if you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(Hardly seems worth it)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)

(Hang on to your hat on this one) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.(In
my next life I want to be a pig but I would like to know how they discovered this, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(That's why Flipper was always smiling!) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?)

Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine....and why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to
death. (Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What's for dinn....) (I hope no one told them about the
pigs)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (That's great but in my next life, I still want to be a pig: quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these , all I can say is .............lucky pigs...

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Alfalfa
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Postby Alfalfa » Fri, 24 Jun 2005 7:04 pm

Pig out you pig.. the last thing i wanna be is a pig.. does pig have multiple orgasm btw..haha
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm Good.

stefania
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Postby stefania » Sun, 26 Jun 2005 12:05 am

What an interesting list! :mrgreen: I like the comments beside them too.

Guest

Postby Guest » Sun, 26 Jun 2005 8:07 am

Guess they call them bangers for a reason. :-)

toxictanktops
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The secret to the 30 minute orgasms maybe...

Postby toxictanktops » Sun, 26 Jun 2005 2:00 pm

I trawled through the Straight Dope website to find this again:

Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis?

24-Feb-1984

Dear Cecil:

This question came up recently in a conversation and was hotly discussed: does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis? --Joe C., Los Angeles

Dear Joe:

Only worthless California degenerates such as yourself are interested in things like this, Joe, but what the heck, I haven't gotten any threatening letters from the postal inspectors in weeks, and it's time to shake those suckers up. The answer to your question, incredibly enough, is yes--pigs do have corkscrew-shaped penises.

You may think I am making this up, but Uncle Cecil is here to tell you he never makes things up. Permit me to quote from Reproductive Behavior in Ungulates, by A.F. Fraser: "The manner of intromission [i.e., hosing] in the pig is unique. In this species, the male, when mounted, makes thrusting actions with the penis, which repeatedly makes semi-rotary actions. Only when the spiral glans penis [my emphasis] of the boar becomes lodged tightly in the firm folds of the cervix does the action stop and ejaculation commence. It is clear, in fact, that the locking of the penis in the cervix acts as the essential stimulus to ejaculation in the boar."

Accompanying this passage is a helpful drawing revealing that not only does the male pig have a corkscrew-shaped wanker, the female pig has a corkscrew-shaped receptacle, as it were--actually, a corkscrew-shaped cervix. Cecil is aware that in humans the penis does not penetrate the cervix, but as should be obvious by now, there are many differences between human and porcine sexual practices, the principal exception being a girl I met in St. Louis in 1974. But I digress.

I regret to report that hours of diligent research have failed to turn up an actual photograph of the pig's amazing Roto-Rooter. For some reason, publishers of livestock breeding manuals prefer to publish lavish photo spreads of pigs' anuses, for which I cannot confess to having any particular fascination. Fortunately, cartoonist Slug Signorino, being the sensitive artistic genius that he is, has managed to come up with the lifelike representation shown here, which gives you the basic idea.

Much remains to be learned about pig reproductive physiology. For instance, it's unclear whether the male pig, in the midst of his amatory labors, employs a clockwise or a counterclockwise rotation. It may be that pigs come in both versions, as with right- and left-handed humans. We can only guess at the life of heartache and misery that must await the little Porky equipped with a left-handed tool in a world of right-handed Petunias.

Furthermore, in view of the locking action of the male member in the cervix, we can imagine the danger of the male and female reproductive organs becoming cross-threaded during the heat of romance, resulting in the lovers being unable to separate themselves after completing the act. For this reason we would advise farmers to equip themselves with crowbars, graphite, and 3-in-1 oil, so that unintended tragedy may be prevented. Here at the Straight Dope, public service is our only goal.

--CECIL ADAMS
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