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Distrust

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Distrust

Postby Guest » Tue, 10 May 2005 6:04 pm

I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years now but I still sense distrust in my partner...ie: always feeling insecure, and whether is he two-timing me, .how can I get married like this?

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elizabeth
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Re: Distrust

Postby elizabeth » Tue, 10 May 2005 6:13 pm

Anonymous wrote:I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years now but I still sense distrust in my partner...ie: always feeling insecure, and whether is he two-timing me, .how can I get married like this?


Ok.. Can I know wht make u think so?? Have u ever caught him having another affair?? if he is ever caught having an affair - than he got to work very hard to gain your trust.. try speaking to him..

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Postby blues » Tue, 10 May 2005 10:43 pm

Did your partner catch you cheating on her or lying to her? 10 years is a long time. Unless the trust between both parties has been compromised in some way ...

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Postby Guest » Wed, 11 May 2005 2:42 pm

i dont believe in fairy tale. I always think that marriage is just to tie the knot with someone you can 'acommodate' for life, this someone is there just to partner you till either one of you die.

I dont believe in loving someone for 20 or more years unless it is of parental love. I believe in getting used to someone being around but not loving for life.

Well, if you think your partner is bearable even if he cheat you in the future, then there is nothing more you have to worry. Unless you are talking about 'pure love' (where to find) for life, then you have to really considere.

Couple remain married for ages, I think the reason is that they are too used to each other rather then loving each other 'very' much. Who know, perhaps one of them have overcome partner dishonesty or one of them have committed affair before.

I have a friend whose parents have not spoken with each other for 25 years and still remain married. I think the answer to this is that:
1. married cost a bomb, divorce will cost more,
2. just wanted to have a simple life, and
3. use to each other.

Perhaps am not qualified to comments. But am a divorcee. Nothing to do with third parties etc. Just that I cant tolerate a non-working hubby.
My point of view is to married someone you can tolerate for life otherwise remain single.

Sorry for being so negative, but this is what I see in reality. No only my case, but for cases happened around me.

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elizabeth
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Postby elizabeth » Wed, 11 May 2005 3:18 pm

Anonymous wrote:i dont believe in fairy tale. I always think that marriage is just to tie the knot with someone you can 'acommodate' for life, this someone is there just to partner you till either one of you die.

I dont believe in loving someone for 20 or more years unless it is of parental love. I believe in getting used to someone being around but not loving for life.

Well, if you think your partner is bearable even if he cheat you in the future, then there is nothing more you have to worry. Unless you are talking about 'pure love' (where to find) for life, then you have to really considere.

Couple remain married for ages, I think the reason is that they are too used to each other rather then loving each other 'very' much. Who know, perhaps one of them have overcome partner dishonesty or one of them have committed affair before.

I have a friend whose parents have not spoken with each other for 25 years and still remain married. I think the answer to this is that:
1. married cost a bomb, divorce will cost more,
2. just wanted to have a simple life, and
3. use to each other.

Perhaps am not qualified to comments. But am a divorcee. Nothing to do with third parties etc. Just that I cant tolerate a non-working hubby.
My point of view is to married someone you can tolerate for life otherwise remain single.

Sorry for being so negative, but this is what I see in reality. No only my case, but for cases happened around me.


well well well.. i agreed with you..marriage is just to tie a knot.. my case is almost the same as yours cant tolerate my hubby being as unreasonable.. wht can we do if we had try and failed.. it doesnt work out at all no matter no many chances you give..

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ywnmmsb
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superman

Postby ywnmmsb » Wed, 11 May 2005 5:44 pm

According to me just ask him firmly
Talk it out , its the most beautiful part about a relation
and Gosh 10 yrs is a hell lot girl
keep it up

Guest

Re: Distrust

Postby Guest » Mon, 16 May 2005 3:36 am

Anonymous wrote:I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years now but I still sense distrust in my partner...ie: always feeling insecure, and whether is he two-timing me, .how can I get married like this?


I think you had better wise up, you are either suffering from, some sort of infatuation, which is not at all healthy, or you may be suffering from childhood traumatic experiences, you are doomed from the beginning in a relationship.

My guess is that even though you have been with the person 10 years, you are stresed out with arguments, that seem just a part of the relationship.

You see one cannot control the brain, the brain as a tendancy to run out of control, making up all kinds of stories,

10 years is quite along time, if you have been suffering these thoughts for 10 years, you certainly need some help from a shrink.

I have had the same problems in my life and i am male, I was so jealous, and untrusting, not just my partner, but everyone.

Turned out I was suffering from a chemical imbalance in the brain, medicine helped me out, It is also very normal in the sense that many people, because of the day to day pressures of life, are suffering these imbalances through stress and environmental pollutions, toxins.

Talk with a shrink, and try not to be so negative about it, the first step is the hardest, but you will reap the benefits


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