Cultural quirks and social etiquette in Singapore

[abbby]

For expats, what surprised you most when you moved here?

[Max Headroom]

The degree of obliviousness of the people here in public. It reminds me of the characters in the earlier incarnations of Second Life, the VR. The lights are on, but there's nobody home.

Case in point: When entering a building, most people just drop the swinging door into whoever is behind them. It's not just me that kena; I've seen kids and older people get walloped too.

Not trying to just throw shade by the way. In fact, I suspect people here are aware this is the norm rather than the exception.

Or when people ride a bicycle on the sidewalk and there's an ever louder clank-clank each time they hit a manhole, but pedestrians ahead still have no idea something on wheels is closing in behind them. I've seen this countless times.

I think it's because people here generally walk around in their little cocoon, probably because Singapore is so safe. Folks here have forgotten to be aware of what's going on around them.

[malcontent]

My kids grew up in Singapore so I had to chuckle when my son visited the midwestern US and was so surprised when the person entering the building in front of him not only held the door, but also turned around and gave him a big smile!

However, my wife had a different experience at a store when her hands were uncomfortably full and started putting stuff on the counter (which was about 3 meters long) next to a lady who was checking out and was buying almost nothing… she was like… excuse me, I’m not done here. So my wife scooped all the stuff back up into her arms, and shortly after, my son was wandering a little too close to her and my wife shouted - hey, better stay away from that lady, she doesn’t like people getting too close! The lady turned, rolled her eyes and said “oh pullease” — I’d say my wife got her good, LOL.

Now that we have moved to the West Coast of the U.S., it’s almost the exact opposite of Singapore in terms of who gets priority: cars or people? Even pedestrians not following the rules can get treated like royalty. But most people in the U.S. express their appreciation for courtesies being given… I think that is a major factor that reinforces the behavior. However, in Singapore, showing this kind of appreciation might be seen as disingenuous, because the expectation is that everyone wants to win… it can even seem a little suspicious if you are too courteous!

[abbby]

The degree of obliviousness of the people here in public. It reminds me of the characters in the earlier incarnations of Second Life, the VR. The lights are on, but there's nobody home.

Case in point: When entering a building, most people just drop the swinging door into whoever is behind them. It's not just me that kena; I've seen kids and older people get walloped too.

Not trying to just throw shade by the way. In fact, I suspect people here are aware this is the norm rather than the exception.

Or when people ride a bicycle on the sidewalk and there's an ever louder clank-clank each time they hit a manhole, but pedestrians ahead still have no idea something on wheels is closing in behind them. I've seen this countless times.

I think it's because people here generally walk around in their little cocoon, probably because Singapore is so safe. Folks here have forgotten to be aware of what's going on around them.

Also...people closing the lift door when you're running for it? Happened to me quite a few times...

[abbby]

However, my wife had a different experience at a store when her hands were uncomfortably full and started putting stuff on the counter (which was about 3 meters long) next to a lady who was checking out and was buying almost nothing… she was like… excuse me, I’m not done here. So my wife scooped all the stuff back up into her arms, and shortly after, my son was wandering a little too close to her and my wife shouted - hey, better stay away from that lady, she doesn’t like people getting too close! The lady turned, rolled her eyes and said “oh pullease” — I’d say my wife got her good, LOL.

Now...that's a good one, I wish I could be as vocal as your wife...I'm rather shy I wished I could do that too

Talking about stores , I hate it when some person at the supermarket would come up the cashier and ask 'Can I go first, I've only got one item...' i'm like I had been queuing for the last 10 minutes, duh.

[Addadude]

The degree of obliviousness of the people here in public. It reminds me of the characters in the earlier incarnations of Second Life, the VR. The lights are on, but there's nobody home.

THIS. This is the thing that p!sses me off the most about day-to-day living here. It appears that the average person is completely unaware that they share the same space with others.

Yes. Singapore is a crowded, densely populated place. But people's behaviour makes it seem a lot more crowded than it needs to be.

I'm keeping it general by saying 'people', as from my observation, this phenomenon is not just restricted to Singaporeans.

I'm wondering whether this is a generational thing. As a kid I was constantly 'reminded'* by my parents to pay attention to the world around me and not to be a nuisance to be others. I don't see that kind of discipline being taught to kids now. And so they grow up into adults who continue that same behaviour.

I don't really want to get started about bicycles on footpaths - it is called a 'footpath' for a reason and cyclists should not expect pedestrians to give way to them. And as for PMDs... even those who appear to genuinely need them seem intent on racing along at Olympic sprinter level speeds...

*Often accompanied by a loving clip around the ear.

[malcontent]

Tokyo is more crowded but things flow quite well (and you learn quickly to flow with them or get out of the way). I would say Singapore is still in the early stages — for example, when I first got here in the 90’s, nobody moved aside on the escalator to let people pass, now they do.

This is training to some extent, but you can probably never totally de-sotong the population — to “act blur” (pretend not to notice) is a long established cultural norm.

[jalanjalan]

Queueing really really close together. I'm used to it now and do the same. It was such a struggle during covid to keep distance!

[malcontent]

Queueing really really close together. I'm used to it now and do the same. It was such a struggle during covid to keep distance!

That’s a good one. I actually think COVID helped widen the personal space bubbles here a little, which I welcome. People can get so close in a queue that they occasionally brush up against me. Sometimes with space limitations it’s understandable, but often it’s not.

On the flip side… one thing I’ve noticed that people here leave too much space is when queuing for the ATM, I’ve often seen people leave a 4-5 meter gap… I guess they don’t want to be accused of stealing someone’s PIN, but people can use their other hand to cover their PIN entries if they are worried about it. I always close the gap to 2 meters when I’m the next in line for the ATM, and I haven’t gotten any stink eye for it.