Is Singapore ‘home’ for you?

[malcontent]

I find it interesting how many people felt at home so quickly here. I cannot say the same for myself. First thing was the a sudden drop in lifestyle going from “having my own apartment and a car” to “renting a room and taking the bus” - even though I was able to maintain the same cost of living, it was a major downgrade and almost felt like going back to being a student again.

I also recall going through different cycles over the first 8 years or so, first year I was oblivious and just taking it all in, second year I started to understand what was going on and was somewhat perturbed by it. At one point I was pretty miserable because of the constant din, plus the added nuisance from various noises. I just wanted to isolate myself and find peace.

Eventually I got over it, and now can’t be bothered. Probably the most important thing of all is to truly understand the culture here, which takes a lot of soak time (at least it did for me). In fact, my username on this board is kind of a tribute to my former self, before I got over the hump!

[Lisafuller]

It became home for me right away, partly because of my SG-born spouse, in-laws and large extended family and the almost entirely local-born friends I made at work. Also because I got PR very quickly - less than a year after arriving. An expat family friend once said to me that some countries just wrap themselves around you. That pretty much describes Singapore for me.

You are fortunate. I still remember my first 24 hours in Singapore back in Oct, 1996. It was the first international flight of my life, I flew alone and it was a one-way trip (I had a 6 month open ended return flight, but no intention of using it, and never did). Two checked bags plus a carry-on is all that I moved here with.

First it was the wall of humidity that hit me getting off the plane. Next, how “unstrict” it was to get through customs (despite my preconceptions). Then in the taxi, speeding most of the way, with the “ding dong” sound (those who were around back then will know). I was thrust into a lease agreement for an HDB room rental and had to figure out how to take the public bus on my own without any help (I’d never taken public transport in my life!). I eventually had chicken rice with barley (drink) that evening. Needless to say, it was full on emersion right from the start! The only welcome I got was from my SO, and we would end up not being able to marry for 7 years after I moved here. Just another one of life’s challenges.

This reminds me of my first day in Singapore, I didn't really have to get used to the humidity, coming from Miami. I had chicken rice too! It seemed the least intimidating, at the time I had no clue what Laksa or Mee Rebus was, so it seemed like the safest option.

[Lisafuller]

Wow, how'd you manage to get PR so soon?

I suppose because I am wife of a Singaporean. I don't remember much about the interview but I guess they also concluded it wasn't a marriage of convenience (we celebrate our 29th this year so they were correct!). Also, this was in '95, and jobs were plentiful.

I see. Good for you! And 29 years is a hell of a long time, hubby and I are coming on 23.

[Lisafuller]

You are fortunate. I still remember my first 24 hours in Singapore back in Oct, 1996. It was the first international flight of my life, I flew alone and it was a one-way trip (I had a 6 month open ended return flight, but no intention of using it, and never did). Two checked bags plus a carry-on is all that I moved here with.

First it was the wall of humidity that hit me getting off the plane. Next, how “unstrict” it was to get through customs (despite my preconceptions). Then in the taxi, speeding most of the way, with the “ding dong” sound (those who were around back then will know). I was thrust into a lease agreement for an HDB room rental and had to figure out how to take the public bus on my own without any help (I’d never taken public transport in my life!). I eventually had chicken rice with barley (drink) that evening. Needless to say, it was full on emersion right from the start! The only welcome I got was from my SO, and we would end up not being able to marry for 7 years after I moved here. Just another one of life’s challenges.

Yes I was fortunate to have a support network. It made a huge difference. I too remember the wall of humidity! I was like "is that really the outside air?"
I didn't have much trouble with public transport, though flagging down the bus was a new experience for me. I just copied what the aunties did. My first hawker experience was hokkien mee made by a very sweaty uncle in a singlet. I was pretty blur, but I had relatives to lead me around so I could just enjoy myself looking at all the new things.

Taking the bus was really overwhelming for me, I didn't really understand how the routes worked, and there were way too many bus services to keep track of.

[Lisafuller]

You are fortunate. I still remember my first 24 hours in Singapore back in Oct, 1996. It was the first international flight of my life, I flew alone and it was a one-way trip (I had a 6 month open ended return flight, but no intention of using it, and never did). Two checked bags plus a carry-on is all that I moved here with.

First it was the wall of humidity that hit me getting off the plane. Next, how “unstrict” it was to get through customs (despite my preconceptions). Then in the taxi, speeding most of the way, with the “ding dong” sound (those who were around back then will know). I was thrust into a lease agreement for an HDB room rental and had to figure out how to take the public bus on my own without any help (I’d never taken public transport in my life!). I eventually had chicken rice with barley (drink) that evening. Needless to say, it was full on emersion right from the start! The only welcome I got was from my SO, and we would end up not being able to marry for 7 years after I moved here. Just another one of life’s challenges.

Yes I was fortunate to have a support network. It made a huge difference. I too remember the wall of humidity! I was like "is that really the outside air?"
I didn't have much trouble with public transport, though flagging down the bus was a new experience for me. I just copied what the aunties did. My first hawker experience was hokkien mee made by a very sweaty uncle in a singlet. I was pretty blur, but I had relatives to lead me around so I could just enjoy myself looking at all the new things.

Reminds me of this big lady who used to whip me up a mean fried rice for $3… generous portion too. It was at a coffee shop across the street from where I lived on Balestier. Back then I had to order in Chinese, they really didn’t know a lick of English… and I also had to accept the “extra seasoning” from her sweat. Bo pien hor!

No, you'd be lucky to find fried rice for less than $5! The coffee shop nearest to me sells it for $4.50, minus the $0.20 takeaway fee. Unheard of back in the day.

[Lisafuller]

I have now lived longer in Singapore than in my 'home' country. Singapore started feeling like home after just a few years for me. I really started noticing this when, after a trip back 'hone', the plane would touch down in Changi and I'd feel this sense of coming home. Will I ever really 'fit in' here? Probably not. But it still feels like home to me.

Something truly comforting about landing and hearing "to my fellow singaporean's, welcome home" over the PA.

[Lisafuller]

I find it interesting how many people felt at home so quickly here. I cannot say the same for myself. First thing was the a sudden drop in lifestyle going from “having my own apartment and a car” to “renting a room and taking the bus” - even though I was able to maintain the same cost of living, it was a major downgrade and almost felt like going back to being a student again.

I also recall going through different cycles over the first 8 years or so, first year I was oblivious and just taking it all in, second year I started to understand what was going on and was somewhat perturbed by it. At one point I was pretty miserable because of the constant din, plus the added nuisance from various noises. I just wanted to isolate myself and find peace.

Eventually I got over it, and now can’t be bothered. Probably the most important thing of all is to truly understand the culture here, which takes a lot of soak time (at least it did for me). In fact, my username on this board is kind of a tribute to my former self, before I got over the hump!

I honestly struggled with feeling at home for the first couple years, even after my daughter was born I felt isolated from the rest of my family. This was back when there was no Skype or FaceTime, and international calls were expensive. Times have changed and things have certainly gotten a lot easier. No doubt because of technological advancements but also because my social circle has really solidified over two decades.

[taxico]

born in broward general but i think my family moved to bal harbor a few years later before landing in singapore when i was 8.

started singapore school in pri 2. attended 10 years of local schooling before leaving. only to return to complete ns before leaving again.

my singapore id has been picked on for being a different color or having non “singapore” text to having a long name to speaking funny to not knowing hdb dwelling norms to often being asked if i am PR (or hearing “ but are you SING AH BO RIAN????”).

i have since experienced living in hdb flat fora while and now have my own singaporean passport and use it for travel very very often, but even inside, the place of birth column reminds me i might not truly ever be considered singaporean by other singaporeans.

i’ve led a nomadic existence and although this country doesn’t really feel like home… it may be the closest thing to one for me…

and that might be enough.

[malcontent]

I have now lived longer in Singapore than in my 'home' country. Singapore started feeling like home after just a few years for me. I really started noticing this when, after a trip back 'hone', the plane would touch down in Changi and I'd feel this sense of coming home. Will I ever really 'fit in' here? Probably not. But it still feels like home to me.

Something truly comforting about landing and hearing "to my fellow singaporean's, welcome home" over the PA.

I feel the same way. Every single time I’ve heard that spoken (only on SQ) it was always “to all Singaporeans and residents of Singapore, a warm welcome home” — and I have always kept my ears perked for the “all residents” part which has applied to me for almost 3 decades now. I appreciate that small gesture of inclusivity… especially in the recent era of more and more exclusivity for Singaporeans.

[Wd40]

I think the best test to check if any place is your home, is when you are in trouble, where do you run? If you stay in Singapore, then Singapore is your home. If you run back to your home country on the 1st signs of trouble, then Singapore is not your home.

By trouble, it could mean anything. Few years back my wife was not feeling well, she had some gastrointestinal issues and no matter how much we tried the doctors here were incompetent. Since we have no relatives here, the default instinct for my wife was to run to India whenever there were bouts of these issues. Eventually we did a full check up in our home town in India for a fraction of the cost and the doctors diagonised as IBS. They gave her some antibiotics and she was fine in no time.

Another example of trouble was when I had problems with my workplace. My default preparation has been to earn enough money to be able to go back and retire in India.

I think there are enough PRs here who lost their jobs and their default 1st instinct was to leave Singapore and go back to their home country and give back their PR. Most of the long timers on this forum, including on this thread now, have some kind of family ties here, which prevent them from leaving Singapore. I think that pretty much explains how the average long term expat/PR or even new citizen feels about Singapore.

[malcontent]

born in broward general but i think my family moved to bal harbor a few years later before landing in singapore when i was 8.

started singapore school in pri 2. attended 10 years of local schooling before leaving. only to return to complete ns before leaving again.

my singapore id has been picked on for being a different color or having non “singapore” text to having a long name to speaking funny to not knowing hdb dwelling norms to often being asked if i am PR (or hearing “ but are you SING AH BO RIAN????”).

i have since experienced living in hdb flat fora while and now have my own singaporean passport and use it for travel very very often, but even inside, the place of birth column reminds me i might not truly ever be considered singaporean by other singaporeans.

i’ve led a nomadic existence and although this country doesn’t really feel like home… it may be the closest thing to one for me…

and that might be enough.

You’ve certainly checked all of the boxes… I can’t imagine anyone claiming you aren’t true blue. Especially with Singapore born Singaporeans becoming more and more rare these days.

[lovesgforever]

Hi . Calling a place “Home” it simply means you are happy there. I moved to Singapore in 2005 from Australia and married my Singaporean wife and now have 2 beautiful kids both born in Singapore.
I was employed as an engineer at first but slowly I took the high risk path and started my own business and with all the ups and downs in the past 12 years I managed to put together a successful business that earns me good money each month as well as created jobs for less than 7 Singaporeans who are are really appreciative of this opportunity…
As for me, I’m more than happy as Singapore have me the opportunity to live the impossible life happily.
Don’t listen to those who always complain about things are expensive or government is not good, etc etc. if you are willing to get out of your comfort zone you can make the best out of opportunities you find and call any place your home as your presence makes it home.

[sundaymorningstaple]

i’ve led a nomadic existence and although this country doesn’t really feel like home… it may be the closest thing to one for me…

and that might be enough.

I hear you on that!

[RobSg]

I tried to convince myself that Singapore was home from 1988 to 2013. All my worldly possessions came with me from the US, I loved my job, I had friends, and had a routine (jogging, hawker food, movies, going to work, and visiting friends). However, a PR was always something that never felt permanent since I had no voting rights about who was being elected.

I now have a nice house on the US-Canadian border with a view of Canada across the water from my house. I complain about the US all the time, BUT I can vote. I consider myself so fortunate to have lived all those years in Singapore, and the fact that I still lurk on this forum shows I still like to keep in touch with what's happening. However, Singapore may have felt like home at the time, but enjoying a place does not necessarily make it feel like home.

[Wd40]

I tried to convince myself that Singapore was home from 1988 to 2013. All my worldly possessions came with me from the US, I loved my job, I had friends, and had a routine (jogging, hawker food, movies, going to work, and visiting friends). However, a PR was always something that never felt permanent since I had no voting rights about who was being elected.

I now have a nice house on the US-Canadian border with a view of Canada across the water from my house. I complain about the US all the time, BUT I can vote. I consider myself so fortunate to have lived all those years in Singapore, and the fact that I still lurk on this forum shows I still like to keep in touch with what's happening. However, Singapore may have felt like home at the time, but enjoying a place does not necessarily make it feel like home.

Honestly, I dont really have much sentiments about "home" as such. In fact, I love this concept of being a long term tourist. When something is your home, you bitch about it, you take it for granted, you are always looking for something better. But as a tourist, you are always open minded, ready to explore and learn something new and there is novelty to be a foreigner. I have enjoyed that part. I would rather remain a foreigner in Singapore always curious and awe struck about its infra and grateful that they allow me to stay here, rather than become a local and keep bitching all the time.