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the “not whiskey” about malaysia

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Lisafuller
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by Lisafuller » Tue, 30 May 2023 10:20 pm

malcontent wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 5:40 pm
Lisafuller wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 2:50 pm
PNGMK wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 1:58 pm


They make you work through all your cards up to the limit. The conventional wisdom was not to carry a lot of cards.
Thank god for Ibanking now. You can just carry a token amount of cash and pretend that's all you have.
Having (pretending to have) limited or no money has always worked for me when faced with any situation where someone is trying to take me to the cleaners, including in the PH.
Luckily for me, I've never been in one of these situations before. I'm not sure if it's because when I'm overseas I'm usually in a group or with my husband, but most of my trips have been very smooth. It's good as I didn't even know about this - I usually have all my cards with me so it'd really be payday for them.

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malcontent
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by malcontent » Tue, 30 May 2023 11:31 pm

There’s a saying that I live by… if you ain’t got nothin, they can’t take nothin. If you can convince them you are the same or worse off than the person targeting you, they give up pretty quickly. No juice to squeeze.
Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it - Niels Bohr

Lisafuller
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by Lisafuller » Wed, 31 May 2023 1:00 pm

Smart. I think it's just about being alert at all times, so you always know what is going on around you and can avoid undesirable situations.

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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by PNGMK » Wed, 31 May 2023 2:57 pm

Lisafuller wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 10:20 pm
malcontent wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 5:40 pm
Lisafuller wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 2:50 pm


Thank god for Ibanking now. You can just carry a token amount of cash and pretend that's all you have.
Having (pretending to have) limited or no money has always worked for me when faced with any situation where someone is trying to take me to the cleaners, including in the PH.
Luckily for me, I've never been in one of these situations before. I'm not sure if it's because when I'm overseas I'm usually in a group or with my husband, but most of my trips have been very smooth. It's good as I didn't even know about this - I usually have all my cards with me so it'd really be payday for them.
I'm sure that if you have really bent cops and you're a woman they have other ways of having you pay off the debt (in their friends whore house for example).
I not lawyer/teacher/CPA.
You've been arrested? Law Society of Singapore can provide referrals.
You want an International School job? School website or http://www.ISS.edu
Your rugrat needs a School? Avoid for profit schools
You need Tax advice? Ask a CPA
You ran away without doing NS? Shame on you!

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taxico
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Wed, 31 May 2023 5:04 pm

Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 29 May 2023 4:04 pm

From a female perspective, becoming a mother can be incredibly disorienting. Some have natural maternal instincts and adapt quickly to mom life, but for others it is not so easy. That might help to explain some of what your wife is going through.

Have you considered seeking couples counseling? Or hiring a nanny to alleviate some of the childcare pressure?
i absolutely understand most of what my wife is going through but mentally, without proper rest, my own sanity is at stake and mind is really not working well and i’m also giving her a lot of sass whenever she triggers me.

it’s not easy being married to me, what with the constant moving around and no real stability nor a place she can call home or even a good sense of security. but things are what they are.

i’ve thought about counseling but it’ll never suffice. we’ve previously seen 2 counselors who said our problems are beyond the scope of their expertise and they’re not sure who they can refer us to.

osod has suggested a nanny. it’s a work in progress - partly because, ok, i like wearing very little clothes around the house. and my wife likes her privacy.

the biggest issue is we don’t have enough space for an outsider rn.

we will probably get someone to help once we move into the bigger apartment.
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Lisafuller
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by Lisafuller » Wed, 31 May 2023 5:13 pm

PNGMK wrote:
Wed, 31 May 2023 2:57 pm
Lisafuller wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 10:20 pm
malcontent wrote:
Tue, 30 May 2023 5:40 pm


Having (pretending to have) limited or no money has always worked for me when faced with any situation where someone is trying to take me to the cleaners, including in the PH.
Luckily for me, I've never been in one of these situations before. I'm not sure if it's because when I'm overseas I'm usually in a group or with my husband, but most of my trips have been very smooth. It's good as I didn't even know about this - I usually have all my cards with me so it'd really be payday for them.
I'm sure that if you have really bent cops and you're a woman they have other ways of having you pay off the debt (in their friends whore house for example).
I shudder to think about what that might look like, though I'm sure you're right.

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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by Lisafuller » Wed, 31 May 2023 5:15 pm

taxico wrote:
Wed, 31 May 2023 5:04 pm
Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 29 May 2023 4:04 pm

From a female perspective, becoming a mother can be incredibly disorienting. Some have natural maternal instincts and adapt quickly to mom life, but for others it is not so easy. That might help to explain some of what your wife is going through.

Have you considered seeking couples counseling? Or hiring a nanny to alleviate some of the childcare pressure?
i absolutely understand most of what my wife is going through but mentally, without proper rest, my own sanity is at stake and mind is really not working well and i’m also giving her a lot of sass whenever she triggers me.

it’s not easy being married to me, what with the constant moving around and no real stability nor a place she can call home or even a good sense of security. but things are what they are.

i’ve thought about counseling but it’ll never suffice. we’ve previously seen 2 counselors who said our problems are beyond the scope of their expertise and they’re not sure who they can refer us to.

osod has suggested a nanny. it’s a work in progress - partly because, ok, i like wearing very little clothes around the house. and my wife likes her privacy.

the biggest issue is we don’t have enough space for an outsider rn.

we will probably get someone to help once we move into the bigger apartment.
If household chores are a huge source of stress, you might want to consider hiring a part-time nanny who can come in, clean up, and get out. That way your wife can have her privacy and you can keep your clothes off haha.

Forgive me for asking, if things were so bad, why have a kid together? Or did these problems only emerge after your child was born?

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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Wed, 31 May 2023 5:52 pm

i’ve got a car at my disposal in malaysia but i’ve drive very very little. all the facilities i need are provided in my apartment building(s), including working and meeting and conferencing rooms.

the play areas are varied and look (?) fantastic and the kids are all friendly and well behaved towards the young uns.

the local guards unfortunately speak little english, but the nepalese ones know enough english to communicate with most expats.

i buy my meals and groceries through the grab app. i have 2 separate grab unlimited subscriptions (i think it’s 5myr) so lots of subsidized deliveries.

my wife shops for stuff on shoppee and other than the fact the package room is a complete mess and delivery riders can’t access the apartment front doors (have to go down to the lobby) i’ve had little use for the car now that apartment hunting is no longer a necessity.

grab cars are cheap (but very dirty). cleaner cars cost about double so if i’m with my wife i think i’ll be booking the cleaner cars down the road when i return the car to singapore.

the depreciation on a brand new compact car is about $350 over 10 years here in malaysia so i may buy a car if i need one but i’m leaning more towards a motorcycle for myself and just grab/car service as needed.

the drivers in my building seem to enjoy buying big suvs/mpvs (alphard x7 GLe) and they park close to my little car for no real reason (the lots are not so small that they have to so.

if they parked in the center of the lot there’d be plenty of space all round. but they don’t. it doesn’t help that my car’s on sg plates so i try to behave.

on the roads, defensive yet considerate driving here in my neighborhood works best. drivers do give way when they know you’re in a bind, and i try to do the same. but when if you don’t drive appropriately after consideration is shown then they’ll turn on you.

i particularly enjoy driving the three lane portion of E2 expressway alone but as a family we mostly travel back to singapore via firefly, with the downside of the lounge being on landside only and flight delays not posted, and the ATRs being ovens in the afternoons, traveling via subang airport vs KLIA (via abtc/diplomatic lane) saves a lot of time!

as we live among expats there are few local families to get to know, so i’m not sure what it’s like to make friends with malaysians but the expats that we’ve come to know have been here a long time with no intention of returning home OR are here for just a while and have no intention of leaving so soon.

i don’t like the tap water. it’s often brown. i’m used to brown tap water in ny but for some reason i just don’t like the smell of malaysian tap water and it coming out brown regularly is very of putting.

this does not stop my child from eagerly gulping it during bath time.

i’ve not opened a personal daily use bank account nor kept a malaysian phone number. except for calling 1300 (toll free in or out of state) numbers i’ve found no need to keep yet another separate number active.

electricity isnt the the cheapest but we use the dishwasher and washing machine and a/c very liberally.

i wish more stuff were written in english though.

medical care is, imo, a breath of fresh air.

i made an appointment to see a sub-specialist - i googled, used the website (and my sg number) to book and appointment after looking through the profile of each doctor.

2 days later i got a call in the morning from the hospital (2pm appointment) which i didn’t pickup.

then i picked up their call at noon to confirm i would be there. although parking was a nightmare, there was almost no wait to see the doctor!

what! and the consult itself was ~$220 myr…! sub-spec! first visit! private hospital!

malaysia will be home for the next few years. i’m still figuring it out but this has been what things are rn.
Last edited by taxico on Wed, 31 May 2023 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Wed, 31 May 2023 5:54 pm

Lisafuller wrote:
Wed, 31 May 2023 5:15 pm

Forgive me for asking, if things were so bad, why have a kid together? Or did these problems only emerge after your child was born?
our child was unplanned. we are in our 40s. married for 10. dated for as long. known each other since middle school.

you are right. a lot of problems emerged after the child was born.
Last edited by taxico on Wed, 31 May 2023 5:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Wed, 31 May 2023 5:55 pm

double posted. so here’s some random text


i’m back in sg for 2 days! baby needs to see the pediatrician.

noice!
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by PNGMK » Thu, 01 Jun 2023 9:23 am

Take care Taxico. Take care of your wife. Be patient, don't speak, just nod.
I not lawyer/teacher/CPA.
You've been arrested? Law Society of Singapore can provide referrals.
You want an International School job? School website or http://www.ISS.edu
Your rugrat needs a School? Avoid for profit schools
You need Tax advice? Ask a CPA
You ran away without doing NS? Shame on you!

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taxico
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Tue, 06 Jun 2023 11:04 pm

PNGMK wrote:
Mon, 29 May 2023 7:52 am
I didn't realise you're a vet.
i didn’t respond to this remark earlier as i wasn’t ready.

memorial day was just a little while ago.

this year i think alot about all the soldiers i know that couldn’t make it home to their family and loved ones. it wasn’t until very recently i became a dad and many of them are dads at a much younger age than i am now.

many shared with me photos and stories of their kids and babies. i didn’t know what it meant at the time and was sometimes dismissive or rude.

maybe this year it was especially hard coz i’m having a rough time in my life or maybe i’m just getting older or maybe i’m just a little tapped out (hah!) but…

this memorial day i’m feeling really sad i can’t go visit my closest buddy at the cemetery. i was (am) feeling really down i couldn’t get the relief/release of going there and talking to him and leaving my quarter like i’ve done often in the past.

these days i think war is a terrible thing and the effects on the men and women that get called to fight in one can never be understood by politicians who wage wars fearlessly easily and needlessly from their chairs.

many more will perish. i see now what i couldn’t then.

rant over.

military discounts are still good to have though!
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malcontent
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by malcontent » Wed, 07 Jun 2023 12:03 am

taxico wrote:
Tue, 06 Jun 2023 11:04 pm

military discounts are still good to have though!
Especially if you can get access to the Navy Exchange store in Sembawang. One guy in my office who was in the reserves (now fully retired military, living in Florida) brought me in there a few times. It’s like a miniature Walmart, with US prices. Alcohol in particular was dirt cheap. They have awesome beer selections too, from Jamaican Red Stripe to Yuengling. I spent US$400-500 on each visit!
Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it - Niels Bohr

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taxico
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Wed, 07 Jun 2023 8:20 pm

ah. some vets are more equal than others. i do not have said exchange privileges…!

seems like a good reason to recount the story of my shrapnel wounds in a dd149!

slight irony that i’m thinking about being wounded in a(n albeit children’s) hospital.

still here in sg. child fell sick. bastard mosquitoes.
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Re: the “not whiskey” about malaysia

Post by taxico » Wed, 07 Jun 2023 11:30 pm

had somewhat of a talk with the baby mommy while we had some free time in the hospital.

seems like we both agree to a separation. so we’re proceeding with that in mind.

i’m not sure what the future holds but i think i’m going to have to take steps to protect my interest from hereon out.

this like a few appointments are in order before i head back to malaysia. i believe my stay there will be cut short.

(i’m ok.)
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