An Open Letter to your Kids

[sundaymorningstaple]

I thought just maybe someone here on the board can use it. If you have been here that long you may remember it.

I wrote this for my daughter & son some 8 years ago when my daughter was 13. It was also published in the local paper "The New Paper" (full page) on 2 May 1998.


[quote]How to survive the teenage years

Well, it’s finally happened. We have a teenager in the house.

It’s not like we didn’t expect it or anything. I mean, we’ve known for 13 years that it was coming, and we’ve tried to prepare ourselves. But it wasn’t until I saw Lisa talking to that 15-year-old boy at church the other day that I began to fully appreciate what was happening in our lives......And frankly, I’m a little scared.

Don’t get me wrong – Lisa is a terrific girl with a strong sense of values. But she’s also imperfect, which means she’s going to make mistakes from time to time. And today more than ever before, a simple mistake or error in judgment can be devastating to young people – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

And so I’ve been thinking. At age 13, Lisa hasn’t quite arrived at the point where she totally tunes Mom and Dad out the minute they start to talk. Maybe now – just as she’s beginning her teenage journey – is the time to debunk some of those myths that plagued us all, through adolescence, to one degree or another. If I could imprint anything on Lisa’s mind to help see her through the next seven or eight years, it would be that she remember these ten simple truths:

1. Everybody isn’t doing it. Whatever “it”

[Guest]

your letter is very 'abstinence' oriented instead of pointing out the importance of protection. You even provide the perfect analogy by telling her how dangerous teenage drivers can be instead of telling her to buckle up.....

do you really think she's still virgin???

[seraphim]

You must be a truly wonderful parent, sms.

Wish I had that kind of direction from my father at the age.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Thanks seraphim.

I'm only doing what I can and it seemed to work for my kids. I am a survivor of the US 60's flower power generation. I think we tried it all.

If I can help anybody from losing just one friend or loved one as I did many times over due to mistakes and our experimenting, etc., it will be all worth it. Unlike 'guest's thoughts, abstinence is the only surefire solution.

sms

[move 2 parenting section?]

might be good to put this into the parenting section.

[Wind In My Hair]

sms, you just reminded me why i like and admire you so much. gosh, i don't think i'm that old but i did read that somewhere before, maybe in the new paper. if you don't mind i'm going to copy it into my journal. and this is for you:

[sundaymorningstaple]

WIMH, that's been resurrected from April (check the date). I was cleaning out a hard disk back then when I found the original that I had submitted to "The New Paper" back in '98 and though it might be useful here. Someone must have remembered it.

Please feel free to use it. It's not copyrighted.

sms

[Wind In My Hair]

WIMH, that's been resurrected from April (check the date). I was cleaning out a hard disk back then when I found the original that I had submitted to "The New Paper" back in '98 and though it might be useful here. Someone must have remembered it.

Please feel free to use it. It's not copyrighted.

sms

i joined this board in july, so i must have seen it 8 years ago in the paper. gosh i feel the wrinkles forming right now....

[ThankU SMS]

[quote="sundaymorningstaple"]I thought just maybe someone here on the board can use it. If you have been here that long you may remember it.

I wrote this for my daughter & son some 8 years ago when my daughter was 13. It was also published in the local paper "The New Paper" (full page) on 2 May 1998.


[quote]How to survive the teenage years

Well, it’s finally happened. We have a teenager in the house.

It’s not like we didn’t expect it or anything. I mean, we’ve known for 13 years that it was coming, and we’ve tried to prepare ourselves. But it wasn’t until I saw Lisa talking to that 15-year-old boy at church the other day that I began to fully appreciate what was happening in our lives......And frankly, I’m a little scared.

Don’t get me wrong – Lisa is a terrific girl with a strong sense of values. But she’s also imperfect, which means she’s going to make mistakes from time to time. And today more than ever before, a simple mistake or error in judgment can be devastating to young people – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

And so I’ve been thinking. At age 13, Lisa hasn’t quite arrived at the point where she totally tunes Mom and Dad out the minute they start to talk. Maybe now – just as she’s beginning her teenage journey – is the time to debunk some of those myths that plagued us all, through adolescence, to one degree or another. If I could imprint anything on Lisa’s mind to help see her through the next seven or eight years, it would be that she remember these ten simple truths:

1. Everybody isn’t doing it. Whatever “it”

[whatalark]

Gosh, I'd like to meet your daughter. Did she take your letter to heart? It's so great to be loved by one's own pa. And ma. And to be able to talk to them.

[beenhere10years]

Thanks SMS,

As the mother of 3 teens I can appreciate the wisdom here. Well done.

Post-Clinton era you may need to add an addendum:

If you're embarrassed to do it in front of your parents then it is considered sex.

[Wind In My Hair]

If you're embarrassed to do it in front of your parents then it is considered sex.

good one!

[beenhere10years]

Thanks WIMH, no WNDC for you?

[Wind In My Hair]

Thanks WIMH, no WNDC for you?

would love to join the WNDC, but am busy every wed. too bad...

[sundaymorningstaple]

Post-Clinton era you may need to add an addendum:

If you're embarrassed to do it in front of your parents then it is considered sex.

That might work over here but I'm not so sure in the US of A anymore? I know my son is more open than I ever was at the same age! (won't say he does anything more - probably a lot less due to lack of opportunity) but a lot more open with what he does do.

For 'ThankU SMS' and any other readers.....please feel free to show this to your kids or even other parents or anybody else for that matter. As I said when this was posted here originally in April, I actually had it published in "The New Paper" for all and sundry to use as they see fit.

sms