Why Men Cheat

[Curiosity]

High maintenance ladies can come as any model - the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance.

U guys shd count urselves lucky that ur women were willing to marry guys who compare them to car brands.

You should hear what they compare us to…

What do we compare you men? Do tell

[Wonderkittie]

Fair point! Let's do this

Please ensure balance by setting up another thread on ‘Why women cheat’


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[PNGMK]

High maintenance ladies can come as any model - the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance.

Hmm...

Assuming I understand this "the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance", I suppose maybe my ex cheated because I didn't give him the opportunity to do the maintenance

It means those women expect men to bear the brunt of their difficulties (whether it be financial, emotional or even sexual).

[Curiosity]

High maintenance ladies can come as any model - the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance.

Hmm...

Assuming I understand this "the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance", I suppose maybe my ex cheated because I didn't give him the opportunity to do the maintenance

It means those women expect men to bear the brunt of their difficulties (whether it be financial, emotional or even sexual).

We are in the same page here.

1. I was his his emotional support whenever he was in that "moment" (I don't like the word, depression). I didn't leave him when he was in need.
2. He cook and I wash the dishes. This is the only thing that he supported me since my eating life style ain't exactly healthy. He loves to cook and prefer to eat indoor, which it was fine to me. The important thing to me was the time and moment we spent together, not where and what we eat. However, the interesting part was, he would impress the other ladies by taking them to fancy restaurants. He didn't take me to fancy restaurant, not even when he was wooing me.
3. He didn't support me financially, which I didn't need him to anyway.

Not all women expect men to provide. Men should be able to recognize the signs when women expect men to provide at the beginning stage (the wooing/dating). If you don't like the idea of her wanting you to provide, why continue it?

[Wonderkittie]

MEN & WOMEN cheat for similar reasons.
I'm guessing.. please correct me if I'm wrong.

1. Cheaters are NOT HAPPY with their current relationships because the honeymoon is over and they can't get what they need/want from their partners.
2. The feeling of being wanted / desired is so alluring, the need for validation vs consequences is worth the risk.
3. Cheating can be made as an excuse to get out of the relationship.
4. It's a revenge cheating.
5. They are looking for an emotional connection.

Let me know your thoughts?

Cheers,
Once a Revenge Cheater

To all men

This is a sensitive topic to talk about and yet not a foreign topic. But I do want know why men cheat on their partner (gf, wife, companion), and yes, I am a female who write this topic. I asked because some men in my circle do that. Just to be clear, not all men cheat. There are good men too. Also women cheat too, but this topic is about men.

Examples of my today's topic.

1. I know this couple and I saw the husband ( I know him too) kissed 1 of girls of his team member from work at the club. He obviously forgot that I was there. No excuse for being drunk because he wasn't drunk because I know he can handle his liquor well. I asked the other friend of mine, who also friend of this couple whether I should tell his wife about this or not and she suggested not to mention anything. So I kept silent. Last time I check, they are still together.

2. A friend who I get to know couple years ago. He cheats on his wife couple times and I know it because he did show his intention with me and I said no. I even told him not to cheat his wife because if she finds out, his will lose everything, including the kids and yet, he still cheat.

3. My own colleague told me he has GFs (strictly only to kill time so they will not have any expectation)

4. My own bf cheated on me and I caught him, his defense was, "because I can". So I left. I was in my 20s and he was in his late 30s.

I know it takes 2 to tango to complete the dance but I just couldn't understand why men cheat. I know that women cheat too, but I want to hear different opinion from all everyone, man or woman.

If he cheat because marriage counselling didn't work or nothing change after they talked about it, well, at least he tried. But, still, why not just break it off and move on (this for couple who are not married yet). Give each other a chance to start new. It won't be easy at first but she or he will get through it and find someone. I can't comment and say "move on" or "get a divorce" to married couple because it is complicated especially for those who have kids.

Do men cheat because of:
1. Middle age crisis
2. Miss the excitement of wooing and dating when he was young
3. Libido is in charge
4. Want some challenge in his life

Let me know what you think

Cheers

[Wd40]

I read somewhere that this is by design, biologically.
Men and women are created differently.
Men's instinct is to go and mate with as many women as possible inorder to further their genes.
While women's instinct is to choose the best men to get impregnated, because women have limited amount of eggs, so it is in their interest to choose only the best.

You can see this in most animal species too.

[smoulder]

I read somewhere that this is by design, biologically.
Men and women are created differently.
Men's instinct is to go and mate with as many women as possible inorder to further their genes.
While women's instinct is to choose the best men to get impregnated, because women have limited amount of eggs, so it is in their interest to choose only the best.

You can see this in most animal species too.

I believe that this is actually the overarching reason despite the fact that people don't like to talk about it (as evidenced by the fact that no one has mentioned until you did on page 3 of the thread)!

[Curiosity]

I read somewhere that this is by design, biologically.
Men and women are created differently.
Men's instinct is to go and mate with as many women as possible inorder to further their genes.
While women's instinct is to choose the best men to get impregnated, because women have limited amount of eggs, so it is in their interest to choose only the best.

You can see this in most animal species too.

It reminds me of this animal, blue legged bird that I watched at NatGeo Animal, especially at 1.52 minute scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcPHFQP9GN0
But I think this video is more suitable if the topic is about, how to impress the ladies (at the beginning part)

[Lisafuller]

High maintenance ladies can come as any model - the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance.

Hmm...

Assuming I understand this "the characteristic is they expect others to do their maintenance", I suppose maybe my ex cheated because I didn't give him the opportunity to do the maintenance

It means those women expect men to bear the brunt of their difficulties (whether it be financial, emotional or even sexual).

I think the idea of high maintenance is typically concerned with finances. These women are high strung, and tend to expect a lot from their partners financially, which can take a toll on the relationship.

[Lisafuller]

MEN & WOMEN cheat for similar reasons.
I'm guessing.. please correct me if I'm wrong.

1. Cheaters are NOT HAPPY with their current relationships because the honeymoon is over and they can't get what they need/want from their partners.
2. The feeling of being wanted / desired is so alluring, the need for validation vs consequences is worth the risk.
3. Cheating can be made as an excuse to get out of the relationship.
4. It's a revenge cheating.
5. They are looking for an emotional connection.

Let me know your thoughts?

Cheers,
Once a Revenge Cheater

To all men

This is a sensitive topic to talk about and yet not a foreign topic. But I do want know why men cheat on their partner (gf, wife, companion), and yes, I am a female who write this topic. I asked because some men in my circle do that. Just to be clear, not all men cheat. There are good men too. Also women cheat too, but this topic is about men.

Examples of my today's topic.

1. I know this couple and I saw the husband ( I know him too) kissed 1 of girls of his team member from work at the club. He obviously forgot that I was there. No excuse for being drunk because he wasn't drunk because I know he can handle his liquor well. I asked the other friend of mine, who also friend of this couple whether I should tell his wife about this or not and she suggested not to mention anything. So I kept silent. Last time I check, they are still together.

2. A friend who I get to know couple years ago. He cheats on his wife couple times and I know it because he did show his intention with me and I said no. I even told him not to cheat his wife because if she finds out, his will lose everything, including the kids and yet, he still cheat.

3. My own colleague told me he has GFs (strictly only to kill time so they will not have any expectation)

4. My own bf cheated on me and I caught him, his defense was, "because I can". So I left. I was in my 20s and he was in his late 30s.

I know it takes 2 to tango to complete the dance but I just couldn't understand why men cheat. I know that women cheat too, but I want to hear different opinion from all everyone, man or woman.

If he cheat because marriage counselling didn't work or nothing change after they talked about it, well, at least he tried. But, still, why not just break it off and move on (this for couple who are not married yet). Give each other a chance to start new. It won't be easy at first but she or he will get through it and find someone. I can't comment and say "move on" or "get a divorce" to married couple because it is complicated especially for those who have kids.

Do men cheat because of:
1. Middle age crisis
2. Miss the excitement of wooing and dating when he was young
3. Libido is in charge
4. Want some challenge in his life

Let me know what you think

Cheers

Yes, but sometimes there is no reason at all. A man could have everything and still cheat, we see this with the recent cheating scandals, where these high and mighty, rich and powerful men with beautiful wives and happy families still choose to mess all of it up by cheating. Of course, we don't know what happens behind closed doors but at least on the surface they have a lot more than the rest of us.

[Lisafuller]

I read somewhere that this is by design, biologically.
Men and women are created differently.
Men's instinct is to go and mate with as many women as possible inorder to further their genes.
While women's instinct is to choose the best men to get impregnated, because women have limited amount of eggs, so it is in their interest to choose only the best.

You can see this in most animal species too.

That's such an interesting point. I feel like whether or not this is true, which I don't doubt that it is, we as humans should be able to resist these animalistic urges. Otherwise, we are no better than animals.

[Lisafuller]

I read somewhere that this is by design, biologically.
Men and women are created differently.
Men's instinct is to go and mate with as many women as possible inorder to further their genes.
While women's instinct is to choose the best men to get impregnated, because women have limited amount of eggs, so it is in their interest to choose only the best.

You can see this in most animal species too.

It reminds me of this animal, blue legged bird that I watched at NatGeo Animal, especially at 1.52 minute scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcPHFQP9GN0
But I think this video is more suitable if the topic is about, how to impress the ladies (at the beginning part)

It's the same reason why for most species of animals, the males have more ostentatious features, are typically brightly colored and have bigger fins or prettier feathers, while the female is fairly plain.

[Wd40]

I read somewhere that this is by design, biologically.
Men and women are created differently.
Men's instinct is to go and mate with as many women as possible inorder to further their genes.
While women's instinct is to choose the best men to get impregnated, because women have limited amount of eggs, so it is in their interest to choose only the best.

You can see this in most animal species too.

That's such an interesting point. I feel like whether or not this is true, which I don't doubt that it is, we as humans should be able to resist these animalistic urges. Otherwise, we are no better than animals.

I agree, but it helps to understand why people do things they do, rather than just pretend that men and women are same. We are not same biologically. Our instincts are such that certain things come very easily for men and certain things come very easily for women. Both men and women have their own strengths and weaknesses, but they are different.