Neighbour's helper bringing foreign worker home

[abbby]

I do not know the neighbour, but if you were me, would you tell your neighbour about their helper bringing a foreign worker home when they were away?

What would you do..? Or just keep quiet about it?

[sundaymorningstaple]

Yes. I'd try to be diplomatic about it, but in the spirit of neighborliness one should think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Wouldn't you like to think that they would at least warn you to a potential problem, or not? At least it shows thoughtfulness but also point out that you are not trying to get anybody into trouble but at least trying to alert them what is happening. Who knows, you might end up with a new set of friends as well.

[smoulder]

I would probably have a chat with them and let them know. I doubt anyone would be thrilled to know that their helper is bringing in strangers on the sly.

[Lisafuller]

I do not know the neighbour, but if you were me, would you tell your neighbour about their helper bringing a foreign worker home when they were away?

What would you do..? Or just keep quiet about it?

Is this a regular thing? Or just a one off incident? If it was just once I wouldn’t say anything but if it was recurring I would probably speak to the helper and warn her against this just because if her employer did find out she would probably be very upset. If things persisted in spite of my warning then I would consider speaking to the neighbor. Wouldn’t want to get the helper in trouble unnecessarily.

[Lisafuller]

Yes. I'd try to be diplomatic about it, but in the spirit of neighborliness one should think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Wouldn't you like to think that they would at least warn you to a potential problem, or not? At least it shows thoughtfulness but also point out that you are not trying to get anybody into trouble but at least trying to alert them what is happening. Who knows, you might end up with a new set of friends as well.

Scary thing is you never know what goes on behind closed doors and even if your neighbor is grateful for the tip you may get the helper into a lot of trouble, that would be my fear at least.

[Lisafuller]

I would probably have a chat with them and let them know. I doubt anyone would be thrilled to know that their helper is bringing in strangers on the sly.

Don’t you worry about what might happen to the helper if your neighbor gets truly upset about it? I personally wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason the helper got sent back to her home country, they work very hard and for very little money, I can’t help but feel for them.

[sundaymorningstaple]

I would probably have a chat with them and let them know. I doubt anyone would be thrilled to know that their helper is bringing in strangers on the sly.

Don’t you worry about what might happen to the helper if your neighbor gets truly upset about it? I personally wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason the helper got sent back to her home country, they work very hard and for very little money, I can’t help but feel for them.

And if that foreign worker likes what he sees in the house that can afford to keep his GF in luxury and not in a Workers cramped, smelly workers quarters and decides to help himself behind the helper's back. Still feel sorry for the helper when 'she' is accused of a theft she knows nothing about? I have to side with smoulder on this. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and the helper will possibly have learned a hard lesson, or a lesson. In either case, one she surely remember and not do again. One would hope.

This is going out on a limb, but also needs to be mentioned. Suppose nobody informs the owners. The next time the helper brings one home, he rapes her. If it were me, I'd feel pretty damned awful knowing I could possibly have averted the disaster by using a couple of minutes to inform the homeowners what could potentially happen. Foreign workers and domestic helpers are a recipe for trouble considering all are here on single status for long, long periods of time and they are actually human beings like the rest of us.

[smoulder]

Another issue is that people including you pay a premium for condo security so that amongst other things, unauthorized people don't enter the premises. In this case, the condo security probably didn't do their job very well and let in someone who was unauthorized. But that apart, a helper is an employee of your neighbor. She's not renting. Neither is she a guest. She shouldn't be bringing in her own guests. That privilege belongs to the owners and tenants of the condo. And that technically affects all the residents including you.

[Lisafuller]

Another issue is that people including you pay a premium for condo security so that amongst other things, unauthorized people don't enter the premises. In this case, the condo security probably didn't do their job very well and let in someone who was unauthorized. But that apart, a helper is an employee of your neighbor. She's not renting. Neither is she a guest. She shouldn't be bringing in her own guests. That privilege belongs to the owners and tenants of the condo. And that technically affects all the residents including you.

This is a fair point, I hadn’t considered that. I guess my point of view is just that everyone deserves somewhat of a social life, we’re all human. But at the end of the day, she can have her social life outside of her employers living space.

[Lisafuller]

I would probably have a chat with them and let them know. I doubt anyone would be thrilled to know that their helper is bringing in strangers on the sly.

Don’t you worry about what might happen to the helper if your neighbor gets truly upset about it? I personally wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason the helper got sent back to her home country, they work very hard and for very little money, I can’t help but feel for them.

And if that foreign worker likes what he sees in the house that can afford to keep his GF in luxury and not in a Workers cramped, smelly workers quarters and decides to help himself behind the helper's back. Still feel sorry for the helper when 'she' is accused of a theft she knows nothing about? I have to side with smoulder on this. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and the helper will possibly have learned a hard lesson, or a lesson. In either case, one she surely remember and not do again. One would hope.

This is going out on a limb, but also needs to be mentioned. Suppose nobody informs the owners. The next time the helper brings one home, he rapes her. If it were me, I'd feel pretty damned awful knowing I could possibly have averted the disaster by using a couple of minutes to inform the homeowners what could potentially happen. Foreign workers and domestic helpers are a recipe for trouble considering all are here on single status for long, long periods of time and they are actually human beings like the rest of us.

Fair, I see your point. I guess if they really really wanted to do what you think they wanted to do they could get a room elsewhere. At the very least you’ve done your part to make sure nothing happens on your watch.

[PNGMK]

I'd blackmail them both to keep my mouth shut but that's just me.

[smoulder]

Don’t you worry about what might happen to the helper if your neighbor gets truly upset about it? I personally wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason the helper got sent back to her home country, they work very hard and for very little money, I can’t help but feel for them.

And if that foreign worker likes what he sees in the house that can afford to keep his GF in luxury and not in a Workers cramped, smelly workers quarters and decides to help himself behind the helper's back. Still feel sorry for the helper when 'she' is accused of a theft she knows nothing about? I have to side with smoulder on this. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and the helper will possibly have learned a hard lesson, or a lesson. In either case, one she surely remember and not do again. One would hope.

This is going out on a limb, but also needs to be mentioned. Suppose nobody informs the owners. The next time the helper brings one home, he rapes her. If it were me, I'd feel pretty damned awful knowing I could possibly have averted the disaster by using a couple of minutes to inform the homeowners what could potentially happen. Foreign workers and domestic helpers are a recipe for trouble considering all are here on single status for long, long periods of time and they are actually human beings like the rest of us.

Fair, I see your point. I guess if they really really wanted to do what you think they wanted to do they could get a room elsewhere. At the very least you’ve done your part to make sure nothing happens on your watch.

Hotel 81 offers rooms on an hourly basis for precisely this purpose. It is not exactly beyond the means of a helper or migrant worker.

Key, like you said, she doesn't need to be sneaking people in, whether it is a migrant worker or a middle class sugar daddy - it's not her property and she just dioe have that privilege unless the owner of the house has given her permission which I highly doubt.

[Lisafuller]

I'd blackmail them both to keep my mouth shut but that's just me.

Seems like you’ve got a dark side, huh!

[Lisafuller]

And if that foreign worker likes what he sees in the house that can afford to keep his GF in luxury and not in a Workers cramped, smelly workers quarters and decides to help himself behind the helper's back. Still feel sorry for the helper when 'she' is accused of a theft she knows nothing about? I have to side with smoulder on this. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and the helper will possibly have learned a hard lesson, or a lesson. In either case, one she surely remember and not do again. One would hope.

This is going out on a limb, but also needs to be mentioned. Suppose nobody informs the owners. The next time the helper brings one home, he rapes her. If it were me, I'd feel pretty damned awful knowing I could possibly have averted the disaster by using a couple of minutes to inform the homeowners what could potentially happen. Foreign workers and domestic helpers are a recipe for trouble considering all are here on single status for long, long periods of time and they are actually human beings like the rest of us.

Fair, I see your point. I guess if they really really wanted to do what you think they wanted to do they could get a room elsewhere. At the very least you’ve done your part to make sure nothing happens on your watch.

Hotel 81 offers rooms on an hourly basis for precisely this purpose. It is not exactly beyond the means of a helper or migrant worker.

Key, like you said, she doesn't need to be sneaking people in, whether it is a migrant worker or a middle class sugar daddy - it's not her property and she just dioe have that privilege unless the owner of the house has given her permission which I highly doubt.

Yeah, I can’t really imagine any homeowner being comfortable with their helper sneaking in random men. Especially if there are children at home or valuables that are unsecured, which you wouldn’t and wouldn’t need to because it is your home.

[PNGMK]

I'd blackmail them both to keep my mouth shut but that's just me.

Seems like you’ve got a dark side, huh!

You've only just worked this out