Singapore Expats Forum

How Singaporean Are You?

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

User avatar
Riva
Member
Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat, 02 Aug 2003

Postby Riva » Sat, 06 Sep 2003 3:03 am

[color=#000000]It’s not enough if you pay taxes or carry a pink IC.

1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.

2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel n e mor.

3. You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before you sit down.

4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.

5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis XIV, Michael Jackson, or Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Titanic.

6. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent. (If you’re a DJ, this happens even when you’re not speaking to foreigners.)

7. You won’t raise your voice to protest policies, but you’ll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.

8. You’re forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.

9. You don’t know ¾ of the people attending your wedding.

10. You separate food into 2 basic groups: ‘heaty’ and ‘cooling’.

11. You’re never completely sure how many times you’ve sung the second verse of the National Anthem.

12. You think that what makes you ‘married’ is not the legal registration but whether you’ve thrown a 12 course dinner.

13. You marry for the real estate breaks.

14. You have kids for the tax advantages.

15. You move to where you want your child to go to school.

16. You feel you can’t walk around naked in your own flat.

17. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won’t wind up in Arts later on.

18. You suddenly realize you’re very interested in biotech - just like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested in e-commerce, and before that, engineering, and before that, medicine and law.

19. You think being an entrepreneur is setting up a bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop right next to an existing bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop.

20. You think people are inconsiderate when they don’t leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice kachang.

21. You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a fishbone chart first.

22. If you’re a guy, whenever you get together with your guy friends, you invariably trade army stories.

23. If you’re a girl, whenever you get together with your girl friends, you invariably trade stories about how your stupid guy friends are forever trading army stories.

24. You think the most important sporting event in Singapore this year was David Beckham switching from Manchester United to Real Madrid.

25. You somehow feel that food tastes better when eaten by a longkang.

26. It actually makes a difference to you being called an ‘NSMan’ rather than a ‘Reservist’.

27. You’ve eaten more times at the Esplanade than you’ve actually seen shows there.

28. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc.

29. When you visit the Zoo, you wonder what the animals taste like.

30. You feel the urge to add the suffix ‘-polis’ to everything, viz. Biopolis, Airtropolis, Fusionopolis, Entrepolis, etc.

31. You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm, and are willing to drive to far away places for supper.

32. You meet in hotels a lot.

33. Your children have a rudimentary knowledge of Tagalog or Bahasa Indonesia.

34. You work at McDonald’s when you’re old rather than young.

35. You’ll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.

36. Pork floss and mayonnaise on bread is a completely natural combination to you.

37. If you’re pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people on the MRT fall asleep instantly.

38. You ask for the bill by miming a signing movement.

39. You’ve started referring to foreign employees as ‘talent’ instead of ‘expatriates’.

40. At the dinner table, you’re always discussing which other food places serve better versions of what you’re eating.

41. You copy down licence plate numbers of cars involved in accidents.

42. You think your boyfriend doesn’t really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.

43. During sales, you book hotel rooms near malls to enable you to shop more efficiently.

44. You pronounce the letter ‘R’ as ‘ah-rer’ and the letter ‘H’ as ‘haytch’.

45. No matter how old you are, you keep associating people with their secondary schools. (alternative: No matter how old you are, you secretly need to know what other people got for their PSLE, O levels and A levels.)

46. You’re always on a quest for the definitive version of your favourite local dish.

47. When you explain things to people, you keep (a) using alphabets, and (b) speaking in point form.

48. You believe that you can generate ‘creativity’ through rules and committees.

49. You ‘chope’ a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.

50. You’re very forthright with your criticisms of the Gahmen, unless there’s a chance they might actually hear you.

51. You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers, i.e..you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at Beach Road.

52. Your mother probably can’t speak your ‘mother tongue’.

53. You’d rather drink your own pee than pay someone more for water.

54. You secretly find that the best part of the Speak Good English Movement is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads.

55. You have an automatic sensor in your head which categorizes people you meet into stayer/ quitter, cosmopolitan/heartlander, normal/ express/ gifted, etc.

56. You think we’re living in a modern, sophisticated country even when our leaders still insist on wearing their school uniforms.

57. You wish your constituency is in a walkover, because otherwise it’s #### ‘leceh’.

58. During elections, you decide that there is no credible opposition even though you don’t know the name of the opposition candidate in your constituency.

59. You think having a constitution is like the condition you get when you don’t eat enough fibre.

60. You can never quite remember what “the core values”

User avatar
stratus
Regular
Regular
Posts: 130
Joined: Wed, 23 Jul 2003

Postby stratus » Sat, 06 Sep 2003 3:30 am

SAD to say tats singaporean and i happen to fall under some of the category

User avatar
Riva
Member
Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat, 02 Aug 2003

Postby Riva » Sat, 06 Sep 2003 5:16 am

Yeah me too..

hehehehe... :p

Hate it and yet still do

Postby Hate it and yet still do » Sun, 07 Sep 2003 11:37 am

WE hate it and still do it. But we don't need to. We can choose to opt out of this silly system :D

User avatar
Riva
Member
Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat, 02 Aug 2003

Postby Riva » Sun, 07 Sep 2003 6:47 pm

I guess everyone just wanna gain in some way or other...

User avatar
stratus
Regular
Regular
Posts: 130
Joined: Wed, 23 Jul 2003

Postby stratus » Sun, 07 Sep 2003 11:52 pm

I guess some of these syptoms actually happens in some other countries as well, but for singaporean, we are more of the extremist.

Sandy

haha

Postby Sandy » Sun, 04 Jan 2004 1:48 pm

It's 1 am here in the US. I had fun going through the list, it made me smile. Nothing wrong with being Singaporean, I wonder why sometimes the phrase "Singaporean" carries such a negative connotation to it. Although many aspects of being Singaporean (as defined by the list) may seem kinda silly, they are also endearing features. However, many problems intrinsic to our society are also revealed in those features. Political apathy, side effects of a paternalistic government....and most importantly, a lack of action! Happy New Year. :wink:

Sonus

Postby Sonus » Sun, 04 Jan 2004 6:23 pm

I like your point 16. The only fear is you don't want your pics hit the headlines or reporters visiting you. :lol:

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 05 Jan 2004 9:09 am

a couple more..

you'll wait 5 minutes for the elevator to take you up one floor rather than use the stairs

You ask for chili sauce at a French restaurant.

if your a guy, you've stopped trimming the nail on your pinky finger and any hairs sprouting from moles on your face.

Your honeymoon was a 6 day 9 country bus tour through Europe with your relatives.

You've stayed up all night playing mahjong at the funeral for someone you didn't know.

john-uk

Postby john-uk » Fri, 13 Feb 2004 9:07 am

these singaporeans make me bloody sick

Long term expat

Postby Long term expat » Fri, 13 Feb 2004 1:17 pm

And John UK is a whiny Pom!

Mate, this is a fun thread, why bring your negativity into it?

It's nice to see Singaporeans having a go at themselves, they do take themselves too seriously sometimes.

Mind you, I'd like to see lists from other places, I'm sure thr result would be something like; 'a rose by any other name'.

killgarry
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun, 22 Feb 2004
Contact:

Postby killgarry » Sun, 22 Feb 2004 3:34 pm

john-uk wrote:these singaporeans make me bloody sick


Wonder which s**t hole you're from. Then again, we really shouldn't bother ourselves with a sod like you.

I'm Singaporean. Not proud to be one. Have contempts I wish to express but feel at times the need to calm down. It's more or less the same any other place.

Take it with a pinch of salt.

Have a go @ yours and see what you get. We'll help you out if you'd like us to.

Cheers
There is no truth, only human opinion.

Guest

Sentiments same

Postby Guest » Sun, 22 Feb 2004 11:16 pm

John Uk
aka as whiny pom
sentiments the same here abt you lot
pot calling cattle black
fancy that :lol:

Posie

Re: Sentiments same

Postby Posie » Sat, 10 Apr 2004 7:32 pm

Guest wrote:John Uk
aka as whiny pom
sentiments the same here abt you lot
pot calling cattle black
fancy that :lol:


Great, thanks for continuing the 'whining pom' stereotype by being such a plonker. Have you ever even travelled on the Tube in London to get to a packed Heathrow airport, only to have to eat plastic food at 10 times its market value ...

...and then arrived at Changi to find you've landed somewhere where people actually believe then can make a difference, and prove it by having a culture with good food, safe streets and a things that are clean and work?

I think not. Go back under your filthy victorian railway bridge if that's such fun!


Posie

:wink:

guest002

Postby guest002 » Wed, 19 May 2004 5:38 am

To Riva,

to add one;

They add "lah" at the end of some sentences especially by saying "no lah".


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests