"Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by MOCHS » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 7:02 pm

IMO, your family didn’t grow up in a HDB and were probably not used to such an environment and I feel the stories will be biased. Asking less than 50 people will skew the POV in a certain direction. A bigger statistic will show otherwise.

I can easily walk home at midnight without feeling afraid. I do keep a lookout when I’m alone anywhere ‘cos it’s common sense to do so but there’s nothing nerfarious here in SG. Children in my neighbourhood and my parents neighbourhood play without worry.

That’s what I have to say since your mindset is already fixed. Your opinion is valid but I strongly disagree. Anywhere you go in the world, you’ll need a healthy dose of street smarts and situational awareness anyway.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Max Headroom » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 8:51 am

PNGMK wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 6:25 am
OP may want to seek therapy if the issue becomes overwhelming.

I mean this with kindness but not everything OP perceives may be real.
This.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 10:30 am

MOCHS wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 7:02 pm
IMO, your family didn’t grow up in a HDB and were probably not used to such an environment and I feel the stories will be biased. Asking less than 50 people will skew the POV in a certain direction. A bigger statistic will show otherwise.

That’s what I have to say since your mindset is already fixed. Your opinion is valid but I strongly disagree. Anywhere you go in the world, you’ll need a healthy dose of street smarts and situational awareness anyway.
The family members whom I spoke to were locals who had lived in Singapore and in HDBs their whole lives. A few of the older relatives had lived in HDBs since their introduction way back in the 60s.

And no, my mindset isn’t fixed, and I do have street smarts. My point was that I didn’t want my 7 year old daughter playing unsupervised in a more open environment.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by MOCHS » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 12:28 pm

Your username is rather ambiguous and I assumed you and your family didn’t grow up here.

Letting a kid play unsupervised is... well I’ll keep my comments to myself since that’s the way that works for you and your kid. ;)

Anyway back on topic, it’s strange that OP has not returned to reply?

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 12:37 pm

MOCHS wrote:
Tue, 13 Apr 2021 12:28 pm
Your username is rather ambiguous and I assumed you and your family didn’t grow up here.

Letting a kid play unsupervised is... well I’ll keep my comments to myself since that’s the way that works for you and your kid. ;)

Anyway back on topic, it’s strange that OP has not returned to reply?
Letting your kid play unsupervised is something all the parents in my condo do; the children go downstairs to the playground every day and come back in time for dinner. That’s something I wouldn’t be comfortable with in most HDB environments, simply because its not gated and therefore the children are free to leave. The playground in my condo is nestled deep in the compound, anyone trying anything funny would be stopped well before they reached the front gate.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by MOCHS » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 1:03 pm

Regardless of where I live be it here or overseas, an apartment or mansion, I will never let my kid be unsupervised. I will be down there with them and keep an eye out lest they need medical attention ASAP.

But you do you if it makes you happy, mate.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 2:21 pm

MOCHS wrote:
Tue, 13 Apr 2021 1:03 pm
Regardless of where I live be it here or overseas, an apartment or mansion, I will never let my kid be unsupervised. I will be down there with them and keep an eye out lest they need medical attention ASAP.

But you do you if it makes you happy, mate.
To me, that sounds like helicopter parenting. I’ve always wanted my daughter to be independent- after all, I won’t be able to be with her forever. Most kids don’t want their parents hovering around them all the time. Hell, I know I didn’t, and neither did my daughter. I would usually go on a run while she was playing at the playground with friends, so while I wouldn’t be next to her, I could check on her and always know she was safe. This wouldn’t be the case if we were living in a HDB block or at a public park.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by MOCHS » Tue, 13 Apr 2021 4:13 pm

Like I said, you do you.

I never said I will be following their every move, I just will be in the vicinity. After a certain age I will gradually loosen the reins to be independent but a 7 year old still requires supervision IMO. If they fall, I will let them they fall and pick themselves up but if they maim/severely injure themselves, at least I can do something ASAP.

Even my condo-living colleague said the guard just gives you a false sense of security and she also supervises her kid when he plays. It’s naive to think an unarmed security guard will be able to stop a bad guy. If one has bad intentions, they can certainly find a way, “gated” or not. The guard is a psychological security blanket IMO. Many kids have grown up in HDBs and a lot have played unsupervised. They’re fine.

We can argue till the cows come home. I still disagree with your POV, your disagree with mine. I don’t want to drive this off topic any further. You can take these to the PMs.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by bak_kwa » Sat, 29 Jan 2022 11:04 pm

Hi All,

I thank you all for responding and giving your views on my concern. I truly appreciate the fact that you all wish to give me a sense of comfort by your views/advice.

I took note of what you all wrote which I too am familiar with when it comes to living in HDB units. However, I must assure you that it is much more than the usual nosey behaviour. It suspiciously borders towards 24 X 7 continual spying by the neighbour living exactly above..by some means which I am not sure of at this stage.

I say this because since the time I first initiated this post in April last year, whatever I wrote in the beginning is still happening. For example, the neighbour above knows my exact location and movement within my house. I hear his footsteps above following me wherever I go inside my house. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I go to the toilet, I can hear him following me into the toilet too! My niece (who lives with my family) has woken up, on several occasions in the middle of the night, upon hearing vibrating voices above, as if some device were being dragged close to the floor above her bedroom (my niece was guessing that it sounded similar to a phone like device being dragged on the floor with clear vibration tone being heard by her).

I initiated this post in April last year and now it's February. It is going to be almost a year. All this is still continuing (as one of respondents of this post suggested I should observe all this and I did).

With all this happening, I am now very concerned what the neighbour above is doing? Is he using some pinhole electronic devices to listen to our conversation or worse....is he secretly filming us ...especially in my toilets? My worries are justified as I have young persons (females) at home ...my wife, my young niece and my young daughter. Hence I am worried for sure like anyone would be in my situation.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Sun, 30 Jan 2022 1:02 am

Sounds really creepy! Have relations with your neighbor remained the same since last year? Would a conversation be an option now?

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by bak_kwa » Tue, 01 Feb 2022 4:13 pm

Lisafuller wrote:
Sun, 30 Jan 2022 1:02 am
Sounds really creepy! Have relations with your neighbor remained the same since last year? Would a conversation be an option now?
Yes it is !.....and it did not even stop during the eve of CNY and it's happening even today i.e. 1st day of CNY as I write this message in one particular location in one of my rooms in the house !.....

This is an odd behaviour considering the fact that the neighbour above is Singaporean Chinese and the neighbour does not seems to be busy with CNY celebrations like the rest of the neighbours on my floor and some above. Instead this neighbour appears to be spending time only on monitoring my activities in the house both today and the whole of yesterday !....

Even on normal days, I cannot hear any kind of noises from above....typical noises as expected from any house/unit that is occupied by a family!...apart from the noise of the neighbour's footsteps following me and the accompanying noise of some thing being kept on the floor above viz. some device/machine of some sort

I know now....by long term observation....that he is right now just above me after having followed me up to this particular location from the kitchen where I had gone to drink water. Sometimes I feel this neighbour has some psychological problems of some sort that makes him behave this way!

I think now I must seriously consider seeking services of a Private Investigator (PI) or someone who can help me figure out what exactly is happening in my house in terms of this "creepy" neighbour trying to spy on me. I also have scoured the net for good PI's who can find some resolution for this issue. However, there are so many on the net who have advertised their wares and I am not sure who is good and who is bad in terms of value for money (typically each one is charging roughly SGD 10,000/- and above for such services).

Hence I am seeking help on this forum for some good recommendations and suggestions on how to find a resolution on this matter to end my mental anguish in this matter.

Regards

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by emergency234 » Fri, 11 Feb 2022 7:04 pm

As someone has suggested earlier , it's probably a good idea to seek medical input .

These statements are quite telling :
A “bird like” sound made from the neighbor’s unit the moment I move from one part of my house to another, and it is made with almost perfect timing (he has a pet bird also but sometimes the tone and type of the bird-like voices are different depending upon whether the bird is making the noise or otherwise. Sometimes I have noticed a Black Javan Mynah bird flying past by and perch on the potted plants kept by one of the "eavesdropping" neighbor who is directly above us and sometimes the bird like noise is heard but no bird is seen)

the neighbour above knows my exact location and movement within my house. I hear his footsteps above following me wherever I go inside my house.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I go to the toilet, I can hear him following me into the toilet too! My niece (who lives with my family) has woken up, on several occasions in the middle of the night, upon hearing vibrating voices above, as if some device were being dragged close to the floor above her bedroom (my niece was guessing that it sounded similar to a phone like device being dragged on the floor

Instead this neighbour appears to be spending time only on monitoring my activities in the house both today and the whole of yesterday !

he is right now just above me after having followed me up to this particular location from the kitchen where I had gone to drink water.
===========================================================
For someone who lacks insight into their condition , a good question to ask might be whether your family members share the same concerns or do they seem to dismiss your concerns outright.

I live in an HDB and can't hear anything going on outside the home apart from dogs barking and infants crying from the opposite block.I can't hear anybody walking around in the apartment.

I would suggest seeing a decent GP first to see if there are any other positive or negative symptoms.It's also a good idea to rule out a physical illness which may sometimes manifest this way.

It might seem confusing especially if you lack insight but mental illness is indeed treatable - do consider https://www.imh.com.sg/clinical/page.aspx?id=286 contacting an outpatient clinic.

I could be wrong and you just have the strangest neighbour !

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by bak_kwa » Sat, 12 Feb 2022 5:18 pm

emergency234 wrote:
Fri, 11 Feb 2022 7:04 pm
As someone has suggested earlier , it's probably a good idea to seek medical input .

These statements are quite telling :
A “bird like” sound made from the neighbor’s unit the moment I move from one part of my house to another, and it is made with almost perfect timing (he has a pet bird also but sometimes the tone and type of the bird-like voices are different depending upon whether the bird is making the noise or otherwise. Sometimes I have noticed a Black Javan Mynah bird flying past by and perch on the potted plants kept by one of the "eavesdropping" neighbor who is directly above us and sometimes the bird like noise is heard but no bird is seen)

the neighbour above knows my exact location and movement within my house. I hear his footsteps above following me wherever I go inside my house.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I go to the toilet, I can hear him following me into the toilet too! My niece (who lives with my family) has woken up, on several occasions in the middle of the night, upon hearing vibrating voices above, as if some device were being dragged close to the floor above her bedroom (my niece was guessing that it sounded similar to a phone like device being dragged on the floor

Instead this neighbour appears to be spending time only on monitoring my activities in the house both today and the whole of yesterday !

he is right now just above me after having followed me up to this particular location from the kitchen where I had gone to drink water.
===========================================================
For someone who lacks insight into their condition , a good question to ask might be whether your family members share the same concerns or do they seem to dismiss your concerns outright.

I live in an HDB and can't hear anything going on outside the home apart from dogs barking and infants crying from the opposite block.I can't hear anybody walking around in the apartment.

I would suggest seeing a decent GP first to see if there are any other positive or negative symptoms.It's also a good idea to rule out a physical illness which may sometimes manifest this way.

It might seem confusing especially if you lack insight but mental illness is indeed treatable - do consider https://www.imh.com.sg/clinical/page.aspx?id=286 contacting an outpatient clinic.

I could be wrong and you just have the strangest neighbour !
Yes you are wrong !......and the fact that I am still sane despite all this happening...and still being able to let you know all that is happening... tells me that if any one of you would have been in the same situation as mine, you all would have all ended up as mental wrecks !!.hence please hang on to that weblinks...you might need it ..just in case !!.. LOL :D.

Honestly, I wrote this to seek a solution to this problem and that's only possible with someone who can think that a coin has two sides to it....unlike your "one sided" thinking that if it is not happening with you then it would not with anyone else !!....:D

Jokes apart !!...on a serious note all this is happening and will continue to happen till I can find a solution to solve this irritating situation of mine.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 12 Feb 2022 6:02 pm

Bak-Wah, you came here asking for opinions. What you are getting are various opinions of which all are plausible, whether you agree with them or not. No use in getting upset and lashing out at the poster as there is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with their post. You don't agree with them, no issue, don't bother to answer. But just to give you an example, I'm taking care of my 3rd Dementia case over the past 22 years. First was my FiL who lived with me until his passing. Constantly complaining that his memory was failing and it was, but he had Alzheimer's and ultimately died of a stroke. Meanwhile the MiL, who had dementia eventually ended up bed ridden and died of old age at the age of 91 Sept of 2020. It runs in my wife's family. My wife had been diagnosed with dementia as well, and while she still knows who I am, she's on a downhill slide that cannot be stopped. She constantly accuses somebody of coming in a stealing/hiding her phone (which she keep nose in most of her waking hours) but if you say something about it she goes straight into denial mode even as everybody watches it all day long. People with dementia don't know they have it and even when diagnosed, they are usually in a denial state. It's frustrating as hell for the caregiver, especially if it a spouse. I know! My wife is 75. But I know somebody who is only 40 and has been diagnosed with it. It can impact anybody.

People here are trying to give you solutions so you have a roadmap that you can follow, showing different paths that might have to eventually be taken. Obviously nobody want to think about the worst case scenario, but if everybody tells you what you want to hear, you may never find a solution, or they might be right. If they are right, great.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by bak_kwa » Sat, 12 Feb 2022 6:33 pm

Well SMS.....my response was for the last member who wrote a response...and not for others !...Hence I have to clear the air.

If you carefully notice, my previous responses were not what you though they are....it is only the last response to that member....perhaps I should have made that clear in my response.

In fact you should look at all my queries and responses on this forum on various other topics ...then you would know that I have always been reasonable in my communication.

my query was very clear. I wanted a solution to my problem...instead you find this member writing something from which I do not get any solution !.....instead this member speaks about my mental condition!

The problem that I am in...it is genuine!...it is happening !..I come here to seek understanding and consideration!...not snide and sarcastic comments from members who only think that if a certain problem does not happen to them then it should not happen to others....and if it happens to others then surely they are mentally deranged !!....what kind of thinking is that??...why cant people look at both sides of the coin ??....

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