"Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by PNGMK » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 6:25 am

OP may want to seek therapy if the issue becomes overwhelming.

I mean this with kindness but not everything OP perceives may be real.
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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by MOCHS » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 7:47 am

My American husband is perfectly fine in the HDB so far... ‘cos we keep our front door closed. He does not feel comfortable with the front door open while the neighbours leave theirs open in the day. I grew up with my parents HDB front door closed too.

I have been asked by my elderly neighbours why I don’t leave the front door open, I just say a white lie that I have the AC on (we use the fan though). :P

There is another ang mo in the block though so they don’t seem to be fazed by hubby’s presence.

He is okay with the occasional noises since we live in a fairly quiet section of the neighbourhood despite it being a mature estate. He is very amused by the ooo-woo koel bird.

HDBs built after the late 90s will not have any windows facing the corridor so any noise/visual disruption is removed/minimised. It’s when you rent/buy a flat built before the mid-90s where you have the windows of the living room and one bedroom facing the corridor if you get a corridor unit.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by malcontent » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 9:28 am

PNGMK wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 6:25 am
OP may want to seek therapy if the issue becomes overwhelming.

I mean this with kindness but not everything OP perceives may be real.
In all seriousness, I myself often have to take a moment to meditate when it gets all too hard to bear. We have a neighbor one floor below us, Singaporean, who genuinely needs therapy - he freaks out about any little noise. Not sure if he lived outside Singapore in a quiet country and now he can’t adjust back, or he’s just like that.

Honestly, that is the only other solution (if you can’t afford a bungalow in the ulu areas) is to just leave... this is a large city packed into a small space and most all of us are crammed into high density housing... if you expect privacy and tranquility, you are going to be frustrated and possibly lose your mind.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters ~ Epictetus

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Addadude » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:11 am

I've been pretty blessed in that my particular HDB block is pretty quiet. (Quieter than the last condo I stayed in.) It's an older unit so our living and one of the bedroom windows face the corridor. However, because the lifts have been upgraded with more for every floor, people rarely walk past. BTW, we also keep our door closed!
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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:34 am

MOCHS wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 7:47 am
My American husband is perfectly fine in the HDB so far... ‘cos we keep our front door closed. He does not feel comfortable with the front door open while the neighbours leave theirs open in the day. I grew up with my parents HDB front door closed too.

HDBs built after the late 90s will not have any windows facing the corridor so any noise/visual disruption is removed/minimised. It’s when you rent/buy a flat built before the mid-90s where you have the windows of the living room and one bedroom facing the corridor if you get a corridor unit.
Interesting! I haven’t been to an HDB estate in ages so I never noticed this. The younger generation of home buyers definitely seem to value privacy more than the older generation.

When we were first buying a house in 2000, we were both very reluctant to go for a HDB because we wanted our future children to be able to play with the other children in a safe and private environment. At that time, we heard many horror stories about children being taken from HDB playgrounds (not sure if they were rumors) but it was enough to scare us into springing for a condo. It feels like we made the right decision, our daughter is still friends with many of the children she grew up with.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:38 am

malcontent wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 9:28 am
PNGMK wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 6:25 am
OP may want to seek therapy if the issue becomes overwhelming.

I mean this with kindness but not everything OP perceives may be real.
In all seriousness, I myself often have to take a moment to meditate when it gets all too hard to bear. We have a neighbor one floor below us, Singaporean, who genuinely needs therapy - he freaks out about any little noise. Not sure if he lived outside Singapore in a quiet country and now he can’t adjust back, or he’s just like that.

Honestly, that is the only other solution (if you can’t afford a bungalow in the ulu areas) is to just leave... this is a large city packed into a small space and most all of us are crammed into high density housing... if you expect privacy and tranquility, you are going to be frustrated and possibly lose your mind.
Its all about open communication, good neighborliness, and understanding. We used to have a noise issue in our condo, an older lady who lived a few floors below would go onto her balcony in the wee hours of the morning to yell with her friends on the phone. It made it hard for anyone above to sleep since she talked so loudly, and for so long (1-2 hours each time). We ended up sending her some chocolate with a note asking (politely) that she be more mindful of her noise level at night. Luckily, she was very nice about it. She stopped yelling at 12-4am and we actually became quite friendly by the time she finally moved out.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:39 am

PNGMK wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 6:25 am
OP may want to seek therapy if the issue becomes overwhelming.

I mean this with kindness but not everything OP perceives may be real.
Therapy seems a bit excessive, no? Maybe I’m not grasping the severity of the situation but I feel like a simple conversation would solve a lot.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:40 am

Addadude wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:11 am
I've been pretty blessed in that my particular HDB block is pretty quiet. (Quieter than the last condo I stayed in.) It's an older unit so our living and one of the bedroom windows face the corridor. However, because the lifts have been upgraded with more for every floor, people rarely walk past. BTW, we also keep our door closed!
We would never be able to comfortably leave our door open. Why did you move out of the condo?

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Addadude » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:53 am

[/quote]We would never be able to comfortably leave our door open. Why did you move out of the condo?[/quote]

To buy my HDB flat with my wife. O:)
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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Addadude » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:57 am

Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:39 am
Therapy seems a bit excessive, no? Maybe I’m not grasping the severity of the situation but I feel like a simple conversation would solve a lot.
The OP wrote: "Sometimes I have noticed a Black Javan Mynah bird flying past by and perch on the potted plants kept by one of the "eavesdropping" neighbor who is directly above us and sometimes the bird like noise is heard but no bird is seen"

This sounds pretty odd...
"Both politicians and nappies need to be changed regularly, and for the same reasons."

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 11:00 am

Addadude wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:53 am
We would never be able to comfortably leave our door open. Why did you move out of the condo?[/quote]

To buy my HDB flat with my wife. O:)
[/quote]

I see, which do you prefer?

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 11:00 am

Addadude wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:57 am
Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:39 am
Therapy seems a bit excessive, no? Maybe I’m not grasping the severity of the situation but I feel like a simple conversation would solve a lot.
The OP wrote: "Sometimes I have noticed a Black Javan Mynah bird flying past by and perch on the potted plants kept by one of the "eavesdropping" neighbor who is directly above us and sometimes the bird like noise is heard but no bird is seen"

This sounds pretty odd...
True, seems a little paranoid.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Addadude » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 11:06 am

Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 11:00 am
I see, which do you prefer?
HDB flat. More space, quieter (as I mentioned) and I rarely if ever used my condo's facilities.
"Both politicians and nappies need to be changed regularly, and for the same reasons."

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by MOCHS » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 12:23 pm

Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:34 am
Interesting! I haven’t been to an HDB estate in ages so I never noticed this. The younger generation of home buyers definitely seem to value privacy more than the older generation.

When we were first buying a house in 2000, we were both very reluctant to go for a HDB because we wanted our future children to be able to play with the other children in a safe and private environment. At that time, we heard many horror stories about children being taken from HDB playgrounds (not sure if they were rumors) but it was enough to scare us into springing for a condo. It feels like we made the right decision, our daughter is still friends with many of the children she grew up with.
Ouch. As a Singaporean, I’m disappointed you didn’t verify the “stories” with any of the locals or take the effort to know more about living in HDBs. You make it sound like we live in dodgy slums. When I was growing up, parents told us these old wife’s tales to scare us into behaving and don’t venture out of their sight at the playground. Maybe it happened in 80s or 90s (I can’t be totally sure) but from the 2000s onwards it would be unheard of. With CCTVs everywhere now, HDBs are pretty safe.

It’s not like condos are 100% safe either. With the rise in deliveries, anyone can just come in, write a fake name in the security guard’s logbook and wander to the playground too. My previous job scope took me to all sorts of housing, condos included, and I never got stopped by the security guard when my taxi rode in.

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Re: "Nosey" Neighbors - More than the usual inquisitiveness !

Post by Lisafuller » Mon, 12 Apr 2021 12:30 pm

MOCHS wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 12:23 pm
Lisafuller wrote:
Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:34 am
Interesting! I haven’t been to an HDB estate in ages so I never noticed this. The younger generation of home buyers definitely seem to value privacy more than the older generation.

When we were first buying a house in 2000, we were both very reluctant to go for a HDB because we wanted our future children to be able to play with the other children in a safe and private environment. At that time, we heard many horror stories about children being taken from HDB playgrounds (not sure if they were rumors) but it was enough to scare us into springing for a condo. It feels like we made the right decision, our daughter is still friends with many of the children she grew up with.
Ouch. As a Singaporean, I’m disappointed you didn’t verify the “stories” with any of the locals or take the effort to know more about living in HDBs. You make it sound like we live in dodgy slums. When I was growing up, parents told us these old wife’s tales to scare us into behaving and don’t venture out of their sight at the playground. Maybe it happened in 80s or 90s (I can’t be totally sure) but from the 2000s onwards it would be unheard of. With CCTVs everywhere now, HDBs are pretty safe.

It’s not like condos are 100% safe either. With the rise in deliveries, anyone can just come in, write a fake name in the security guard’s logbook and wander to the playground too. My previous job scope took me to all sorts of housing, condos included, and I never got stopped by the security guard when my taxi rode in.
I think you’ve misunderstood me. Most of these stories were told to me by family who lived in HDBs at the time. In the first place, I wanted an environment that was gated and more secure, so I could feel safe having my daughter go downstairs to play unsupervised. I didn’t mean to offend anyone, Singapore has the best public housing by far in my opinion. I just meant that the stories I was told did not help the HDB’s case.

With all the security now, I’m sure HDBs are safe. However, I still hear from my female colleagues that they sometimes feel unsafe when at the void deck on the way home, or sometimes see shady characters loitering. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable letting my kid play unsupervised.

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