Western men in Singapore

Discuss about life in Singapore. Ask about cost of living, housing, travel, etiquette & lifestyle. Share experience & advice with Singaporeans & expat staying in Singapore.
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Strong Eagle
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Post by Strong Eagle » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 11:39 am

I'll probably get hacked to death with a dull machete for this, but what the hey...

Why is it so important to women that their relationship with a man include monogamous sex?

Leaving out the disease factor for just a moment, which is indeed a consideration, I just wonder why it is so important to the realtionship. For most men, sex is a very visual, physical thing. NO relationship is required. A man doesn't need a reason, he just needs a place... and a phone booth will be just fine, thank you. Having a quickie doesn't change feelings for the "significant other" one iota.

Is it a case of, "A man searches for every woman to fulfill his one need, while a woman searches for one man to fulfill her every need?"

Hack away.

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Post by Tulip » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:01 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:I'll probably get hacked to death with a dull machete for this, but what the hey...

Why is it so important to women that their relationship with a man include monogamous sex?

Leaving out the disease factor for just a moment, which is indeed a consideration, I just wonder why it is so important to the realtionship. For most men, sex is a very visual, physical thing. NO relationship is required. A man doesn't need a reason, he just needs a place... and a phone booth will be just fine, thank you. Having a quickie doesn't change feelings for the "significant other" one iota.

Is it a case of, "A man searches for every woman to fulfill his one need, while a woman searches for one man to fulfill her every need?"

Hack away.

This is too funny :D If you seriously believe that you're in for a rude shock!

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Post by Guest » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 3:51 pm

I think you need to have a look at why you're feeling so insecure about your fiance. You are about to get married and he obviously, therefore, loves you. You should be able to trust him and his ability to do the right thing by you. You should be secure in that knowledge and relax, otherwise you'll be causing stress for yourself and your relationship.

At the end of the day, you can't be there 24/7 to watch him, and really, if that's what you would have to do to trust him, do you really want to be in a relationship like that?

My husband also lives in Singapore, while I am still located o/s. Realistically I know that temptation will present itself to both of us at one time or another, but we trust eachother and are able to make conscious decisions as to whether or not we were to be with other people. THis is what (supposedly) seperates us from the animals.

I think you need to relax, if he IS going to cheat, then there's really nothing you can do about it.

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Post by Bafana » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 4:10 pm

Tulip wrote:With all due respect Bafana, using the excuse of trying to fit in a foreign land, being drunk and surrounded by women that will do whatever they want as an excuse to break that trust does not cut it.
You are obviously not a man and would not understand what it is to be.

Mr Stronge Eagle on the other hand is a man has come back with a balanced perspective.

OK lets test it.

Any lady out there that thinks there man is above risk give me is hp number I will personaly take him out - Mind you must promise not to tell him what it is all about otherwise it will ruin the whole experiment...

Love to man is not having sex it is having someone to look after and who looks after you. Sex is just fun and damn enjoyable to boot :D

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Post by Strong Eagle » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 4:41 pm

Tulip wrote:This is too funny :D If you seriously believe that you're in for a rude shock!
Seriously believe what, dear Tulip?

I do know that unless you are completely gawd awful ugly, most men who have looked at you will have at least had a passing thought as to how they might get into your panties. I think it's a genetic thing.

The difference is that 'gentlemen' never act on those thoughts, and they treat women as people first. This may not hold true for males loaded with C2H5OH at the local bar.

I'm not advocating any kind of loose behavior (I have no alcohol in me at the moment), just noting that women seem to view sex as the ultimate act in a committed relationship, whereas men view it as... well... another great orgasm.

Perhaps the women's view is genetic as well... after all, she is the one who is stuck with the offspring, and it only makes sense to insure that one has a reliable mate.

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Post by moloch71 » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 4:57 pm

Bafana wrote:You are obviously not a man and would not understand what it is to be.
I find it amusing when you talk to a woman, and she claims she is the horny type;
I throughly dispute this: girls may want sex, but they have no concept of how MUCH men actually need it;
just try and find a guy who can switch off his desire for a few months during a dry spell :(

I agree it is a poor excuse to claim 'men will be men', but women will never understand how much our men hormones truly drive us completely nuts (pun intended)

Just go into any online chat room ... do I need to provide any further evidence ?? :twisted:
Moloch horridus - Australian horny devil lizard, exceptional specimens have been found measuring 8 inches.

anne

none

Post by anne » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 7:11 pm

to be honest with u, im an asian gal... i find caucasian men attractive than other races... its not that i hate other races... caucasians simply attractive in their own ways...


most of them were good looking...

but u dnt have to hate asian gals.

and u dnt have to worry much abt ur guy be tempted to asian gal, cuz if he loves u... there's no way of being tempted by anyone, irregardless of race.

if the relationship is strong and u trust one another, i dnt think he will be hooked up by anyone.

have a great weekend.


anne

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Post by Strong Eagle » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 8:29 pm

:D :D

Helloooooooo Anne!!!!!

:D :D

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Post by Global Citizen » Thu, 24 Mar 2005 10:58 pm

Strong Eagle wrote::D :D

Helloooooooo Anne!!!!!

:D :D

Down boy! Down! :lol:

Seriously though while what you, Baf and Moloch have pointed out may contain some truth, I still find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that men can be so far removed from any emotional tie to the physical act of sex and are able to cheat without any prick of conscience. Is this true of all men or just some, would you say? And would men accept the same thing of women? That is the urge to get laid was strong but it didn't mean anything? And why?

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Post by Strong Eagle » Fri, 25 Mar 2005 6:04 am

Dear Global,

Actually, I don't cheat because I know it would hurt my wife, and it would damage my own integrity because I said I wouldn't.

Having said that, I don't think I would make sexual fidelity a condition of marriage, if I had it to do all over again.

Norskcat

Post by Norskcat » Fri, 25 Mar 2005 9:21 am

Hey V66....I think u don't need to worry so much....u r not going to SH or HK....almost every female there r looking for foreign bfs.....in Singapore, u just stare them down...it works for me....hahaha :lol:

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Post by Tulip » Fri, 25 Mar 2005 11:40 am

Strong Eagle wrote:Dear Global,

Actually, I don't cheat because I know it would hurt my wife, and it would damage my own integrity because I said I wouldn't.

Having said that, I don't think I would make sexual fidelity a condition of marriage, if I had it to do all over again.
That's a little sad you're not saying "I don't cheat because I don't see the need to." Oh well.

In any case if both parties agree to not making sexual fidelity a condition of marriage and both are happy with that arrangement then to each his/her own I say. At least both parties are having the best of both world and not just one who thinks it's acceptable because that's the way it is - in the partriachal society that is. Wink

That's why I always say only get married when you feel you really really want to and you are ready to make a commitment to each other.

That's enough on the topic for me. I've said my piece. Peace.

Good luck on the move V66. You will like it here. Cheers.
Last edited by Tulip on Fri, 25 Mar 2005 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Guest » Fri, 25 Mar 2005 11:58 am

Tulip wrote:
Strong Eagle wrote:Dear Global,

Actually, I don't cheat because I know it would hurt my wife, and it would damage my own integrity because I said I wouldn't.

Having said that, I don't think I would make sexual fidelity a condition of marriage, if I had it to do all over again.
That's a little sad you're not saying "I don't cheat because I don't see the need to." Oh well.

In any case if both parties agree to not making sexual fidelity a condition of marriage and both are happy with that arrangement then to each his/her own I say. At least both parties are having the best of both world and not just one who thinks it's acceptable because that's the way it is - in the partriachal society that is. :wink:

That's why I always say only get married when you feel you really really want to and you are ready to make a commitment to each other.

That's enough on the topic for me. I've said my piece. Peace.

Good luck on the move V66. You will like it here. Cheers.

Cherry

RE:

Post by Cherry » Fri, 25 Mar 2005 9:11 pm

I am from China. Let me say sth. here. There are indeed lots of singapore girls hunting for western guys while they show discrimination to us though they are chinese too. However, not all girls in singapore are bad, exactly the same as everywhere. On the other hand, western guys have bad reputation in Singapore too as they normally play around with girls here, seeking romance and sex only. I would like to give my conclusion: good girl looks for true love no matter where the guy is from and she will respect other's marriage, and good guy loves his wife, he will not lose mind when facing attraction. Think about it, attractive women are all over the world, even in every street, the decisive matter is your husband.

Tov66

Post by Tov66 » Fri, 25 Mar 2005 9:43 pm

Let me give you my point of you, because I have been living here for many years.

First of all, and in order to dispel a myth cast by many Expats, 99 % of SG girls do not want to be seen or associated with a Caucasian, not because they don’t like Caucasians but because of the social stigma attached to girls who date Caucasians and also because of parental opposition. That is a fact. It is not that they do not like Caucasians, but rather because they can not or do not want to handle the social pressure put on girls who date them.

There are a few clubs where Asian women (and I don’t mean hookers) go specifically to pick-up a Caucasian. I wrote Asian, because many of these girls are not Singaporeans but rather Asian expats (Korean, Japanese, Hong Kongers) who date Expats for many reasons, for instance because they are more attracted to their physical features (sharper nose, longitudinal face…), because they have similar background such as being educated overseas and having higher revenues than local Singaporeans as a result or their expat posting. And also since they are not in their home country, the social stigma put on these girls is less.

The reverse situation also exists. Let me suggest the following experience : go to a club where Chinese hang out (they are some, and Singaporeans will be able to tell you which ones). It is nice to see that they can loosen up, and be as outspoken and extravert as any Caucasian. I recently went to one of them with a Caucasian girl, and almost every Chinese were drooling over that girl. That is totally fine with me, as I support interracial relationships. No Chinese girls tried to pick-up my other Caucasian Friends, because, if they wanted to, they would not have gone to that club.

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