Western men in Singapore

[V66]

I have a question... about western men in Singapore...

I am moving to SIngapore with my boyfriend (by then husband) en would like to know how it will be living there- knowing that a lot of asian girls will be after my husband... I mean, yes, he's tall, western, expat etc. and I think this is very 'hot' in a country such as Singapore...

What can I expect? It is really true that a western man (good looking) in a country such as SIngapore will be overfloated with girls that are interested? or is this a total wrong thing in my mind??

Please let me know!!

Thanks

Karin

[Guest]

well.. it all depends on the places he will be going....

Eg, Should he hang out at pubs and bars.. naturalli there will be girls flocking over to him.

[Guest]

Well he's 29 and i'm 25... so yes, we will be going to bars en clubs...but is it really 'annoying' or is it like in any other western country were people flirt... and that's it? (so not overdone)

I mean, yes, i understand that people look... but my question is more, is it really that bad to the extend that it is anoying for a western woman going out with her western boyfriend?

[Strong Eagle]

A man can only get into as much trouble as he permits himself to get into. If he carries himself as unavailable, he won't be bothered. My own experience of Singapore is that it is generally a family oriented culture. If you are single, it is quite reasonable to date locals. If you are married, this generally won't happen... except...

There are lots of places where women go to meet men... bars and clubs... and expats do seem to hold something of an attraction. If a man chooses to pick up a woman it is probably an easier thing to do here than in the States. If you are going with him, that's a different story... they'll probably look but not touch.

Then, there are plenty of places in town... and Indonesia and Malaysia... where a man can get whatever he wants for a very reasonable price.

[NYgirl]

Okay...clubs + bars are the place were asian women are 'seaching' for western expats...

But it it in EVERY club or certain clubs...?

and what about in dialy life (so everything except the clubs and bars)?

[Strong Eagle]

and what about in dialy life (so everything except the clubs and bars)?

I've found the women to be conservative in most formal situations, like the work environment.

[moloch71]

I say a happy man is a faithful man, no matter the temptations ....
or at least I would like to believe so

[Guest]

I would like to believe so too... but is it possible in singapore ? i wonder.....


Aren't there any expat woman who experience the same?? how are the experiences on this field...?

[Sing]

Just beware of the SPGs, they are out to hook Caucasian men.

[Guest]

To be honest, i'm not really relieved now...

So my thoughts about the asian girl are correct..


Thanks anyway for all the info

[Tulip]

As Strong Eagle suggested, "A man can only get into as much trouble as he permits himself to get into. If he carries himself as unavailable, he won't be bothered."

So if you trust your mate to be sensible and not fool around then it really does not matter where you are really does it?

Remember it takes 2 to tango. It's not just the Asian girls here it's the expat men as well. Nothing will happen if one party does not allow it to happen. No brainer really.

[Asiangirl]

To be honest, i'm not really relieved now...

So my thoughts about the asian girl are correct..


Thanks anyway for all the info

Yes, there are SPG but there also alot of other type of girl, like anywhere else in the world. I agree with Strong Eagle that it is really up to the intergrity of the man.

Not all asian ladies are into western man. Majority of the singaporean ladies are actually somewhat conservative. SPG are only a small percentage of asian ladies.

I would say 'relax', the more you hold on, the more he would feel uncomfortable but at the same time don't push him away so that he can falls into someone else arms.

I don't think anyone would purposely come into your relationship unless there is a 'loop hole'.

Hope this well put you more at rest.

[V66]

Of coarse it's all about my own relationship..and i know my boyfriend (just as I am) compleyely happy about our relationschip...we are even getting married soon..

It's just some lack of confidence I have sometimes (as a lot of woman have) that your are scared to lose your guy..especially to one of those PG's.

Someone told me that it was really bad in Singapore when you talk about the girls who are interested in western men...so that's why I got completely scared...

But thanks for all your information! it helped a lot!

By the way.. how is it as a westernwoman in SIngapore?

[Bafana]

Interesting debate.

I have a work mate who has just moved to Bangkok recently who was full of I will be faithful to my GF till the bitter end and all that stuff. It was funny in that he was there in BKK supposedly the heart of SE Asian Sex Tourism and male expat out of office locational bonuses he was faithful but when he got to Singapore on a boys night out (And no I wasn't there) he crumbled and acted like any sane man would with a willing female.

I suppose the point I am trying to get at is that unless you go everywhere with him and make sure you vet all his mates if you can't then you can never be sure when the combination of alcohol, male bonding and loose women comes around he won't crumble.

And to be fair you can't really blame him as it is hard to judge someone when they need friends (as they are in foreign land) and are eager to fit in, they are half-cut (drunk) and surrounded by women that will do whatever they want.

And before someone says that if he was a real man he would be faithful I say your standards are to high and it don't work like that. I say get a reality check, men (As I know from a 100% life experience) are men.

Then again I probably would have argued for the faithful case before I got burnt by my ex-wife and became bitter about the whole love thing.

So expect him to be at risk - He will be.

Whether you can deal with that and your relationship is stronge enough and strutured in the right way to cope with such pressures is a different question. Don't forget like most teenagers men will rebel when under the constant yoke of a watchful eye and prying mind.

TRUST is the answer...

(BTW This does not just apply to western men but to all men who live in SE Asia including the locals)

[Tulip]

TRUST is the answer...

Trust plays a very important part but the other party must also honour that trust. Have seen so many relationships breakdown because someone broke that trust.

With all due respect Bafana, using the excuse of trying to fit in a foreign land, being drunk and surrounded by women that will do whatever they want as an excuse to break that trust does not cut it.

A person will find any excuse possible to justify cheating. Being faithful is the responsibility of both parties not just one, when they have made a commitment to each other.

Yes there will always be temptations - for both parties.. but are you going to put yourself in that position to let yourself fall for that temptation in exchange for the trust of the one you say you love? Is it worth the exchange?

I find the excuse used, "men are men" is just that - an excuse.