midlet2013 wrote: ↑
Fri, 30 Aug 2019 1:38 pm
Thank You. I am quite okay at communication etc. Just wanna have a positive impact on people I mentor and be successful.
In that case, the ability to listen, without judgement or projection, will serve you most well. It's not an easy task as most of us are already thinking about the response we are going to make, even before the other person has finished speaking.
I judge that most people are far more receptive to advice when they discover it for themselves. Many good people like to 'counsel', tell others how it should be, or start with, 'here is something you can try.' And yes, there are times when such things are appropriate.
But more often, the use of leading questions to draw another person out, to get them to go deeper, is usually a more successful way of mentoring others. You're the expert by guiding, not telling. Avoid asking 'why'? It only leads to judgement answers.
Example: Someone comes to you after blowing up at a coworker for not completing their assignment properly, a failure which also impacted the person who is talking to you.
Response 1 (non mentoring from you): Yeh, I hear ya. That's not such a good idea to blow up at people at work. Here's what I do in situations like that... blah blah blah blah.
Editorial comment: When you interact with someone in this manner, you set yourself up as the expert, you put yourself one up with the other, even if that is not your intention. And you've given advice that may or may not be correct, for you may not know the whole story.
Response 2(mentoring from you): Hey... I know you don't normally react like that. What made you go off the rails like that this time? What could you have done differently and still made the point about the importance of the assignment? Was there something else going on in your life that might have been underlying the way you acted? What would be an appropriate course of action now?
Editorial comment: Now you are creating an environment for self discovery. You are the expert, and it shows in the manner in which you permit the other person to make discoveries about themselves through your insightful and guided questioning. You are now an equal, you can be trusted, you are a mentor.
Even when you are passing on your expertise and experience, another role of a mentor, doing it in a way that creates empathetic connection usually creates a more positive experience and a longer lasting knowledge transfer. Again, questions... maybe, "What makes this stuff important to you?"... and support and encouragement, "I can see from the questions you are asking that you have a real aptitude for this material."