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I like a 40+ yo guy but I don’t know what to do next

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bloodrose
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I like a 40+ yo guy but I don’t know what to do next

Post by bloodrose » Fri, 23 Aug 2019 2:38 am

So I am at 29 year old girl who made a career switch working at one of Singapore’s casino. I met this 43-year-old Malaysian guy working there as a supervisor this year. And because I am still relatively young and only been in this industry for 1 year, I went in to the company unprepared and got bullied by many people there.

I was so upset that in a fit of rage, I got into a fight with the manager and one week later I threw in my resignation. Now the work was Very stressful for me and 3 days before my last day, I met up with the director and the manager to tell them that I wanted to withdraw my resignation.

The director told me that this was not possible and proceeded to hand me the ‘Acceptance of Resignation’ letter and told me that I am not the right person for the job.

To be frank, this job was very stressful for me as I did not expect certain elements of the job. She told me to leave immediately when I still had 3 days before my last day. I told her that I would be happy to complete my 3 days because I wanted to say goodbye to my friends and also to get this guy’s number. The director denied my request and I am now out of the company without his contact number.

Now I do not know for sure whether he is absolutely single. I have lost contact with him for a month but I still have very strong feelings for him and I can’t help but want to go back to the company and tolerate the things that I hate because I want to near him and get to know him. I know this is very foolish of me to disregard my well-being for someone that I barely know yet.

I have also asked myself What are the reasons (besides him) I want to return to that job? Will I be able to withstand the job or will I end up quitting again? What if I spend so many years at that job and then I realise that he is married?

The last thing I want to hear is to move on. For me although the job is stressful, but there are so many people working there I can make friends and who knows also find a partner there. From The workplace, I can know how a person deals with stress, his personality and habits, vices. It’s way better than online dating or meeting a stranger outside whom I totally don’t know his personality or habits.

Anyone out there can give me advice on how I should handle this matter? What are the precautions or actions or questions I must ask myself if I want to go back? What can I do to protect myself at the casino?

xoxo
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Re: I like a 40+ yo guy but I don’t know what to do next

Post by The Ref » Fri, 23 Aug 2019 8:14 am

I am guessing your chances of getting the job back are less than winning Toto and 4D on the same day. Companies are just like that, you may be able to go back in a few years but not right now.
Second, workplace relationships are frowned upon, especially manager relationships and even more if there is an age difference.
Finally you dont know if he is married - are you after a LTR or a fling. If you just want a fling contact someone who works there and get your number to him

bloodrose
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Re: I like a 40+ yo guy but I don’t know what to do next

Post by bloodrose » Fri, 23 Aug 2019 4:09 pm

The Ref wrote:
Fri, 23 Aug 2019 8:14 am
I am guessing your chances of getting the job back are less than winning Toto and 4D on the same day. Companies are just like that, you may be able to go back in a few years but not right now.
Second, workplace relationships are frowned upon, especially manager relationships and even more if there is an age difference.
Finally you dont know if he is married - are you after a LTR or a fling. If you just want a fling contact someone who works there and get your number to him
What can I do if I want a LTR with him? How do I get my number to him without his colleagues (keeping in mind he might be married and the possibility of me returning in a year) suspecting a crush or fling?

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Re: I like a 40+ yo guy but I don’t know what to do next

Post by Strong Eagle » Fri, 23 Aug 2019 9:09 pm

What you do is say, "Damn! I am so glad I dodged a bullet." And then you move on with your life.

Karma has shown you the way. Karma has already separated you for reasons that are probably valid. Do not fight Karma.

You do not have a "relationship". You have infatuation. You want to "tolerate the things that I hate" (your words) for your _imagined_ idea of what this much older man is like. This is self-destructive behavior.

Listen to Karma. You have been separated from a potentially losing (for you) relationship. You have been separated from a job that has thrown you into a fit of rage. The universe is telling you something, teaching you something. Listen to it. You have been given an opportunity to start anew with a relationship that could be meaningful and with a job you enjoy. Take that opportunity.

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