I've been reading up and looking for every topic related to divorce in this forum and online and am feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. I'm hoping I can find some answers here and thank you all for your time. This is going to be a long read, please bear with me.
My husband and I are both from the Philippines but we got married in Singapore in June 2010. I moved out of our home in Sengkang when we broke up in 2015 and I moved back to the Philippines in September 2016. Long story short, I only decided to get a divorce recently because I decided that I want to get into a relationship again.
When i told my ex in March this year that I wanted a divorce, he's been trying to get back together with me and was still hoping that i will change my mind. He's been trying to buy me stuff and send me money even though i tell him no (I ended up accepting them anyway coz the kids dont stop eating and bills still need to be paid) and he helped me move to a new house and sent me 3k SGD. He said that he will always provide for the kids and things like that even though we are not together anymore. In all of this, I've always been vocal that the divorce is going to happen regardless and that we are not getting back together and I made it really clear that I've moved on.
When I was traveling through India in March to April, I met a guy online through a divorce support group. He was living in Egypt at the time and in April he surprised me with his ticket to the Philippines to come see me. He arrived in May and will be staying indefinitely.
Everything was ok until he found out recently that I started dating and that's when he started to make things really difficult. I didnt tell him I started seeing someone because I wanted to wait until the divorce is final and I honestly don't want him to get hurt. I was hoping that he'd find someone else in the meantime and he'll get over me. Afterall, we broke up 3 years ago, it should be a long enough time for him to have moved on and accepted that our marriage didn't work.
Anyway, now he refuses to talk to me and he hates me because he believes that I cheated on him. He stopped sending money for the kids and said that he will only pay for school and their allowance. Everything else he will not pay and he wants me to give him back the 3k that he sent me.I told him I will but I need time.
After that discussion with my (soon to be) ex-husband, I told my bf that my ex wont be sending any money anymore and we (bf and i) decided that instead of my bf paying for a condo
and his other expenses, he will just move in with me and we will share expenses such as rent and utilities. I understand this may not be a very wise decision and will only agitate my ex even more (and it did) but it made the most practical sense to me at least.
I sent him a breakdown of the kids expenses and needs but he is determined to not send me any money at all. All the money he is sending for the kids' school fees he will send to my sister who is sympathetic to him and hates me for all that has happened. My ex told me that he will only spend for the kids needs if I will give up custody and have the kids and the maids live with my sister. I am obviously not doing that because that is the stupidest idea in the world. Seriously, who would take away the kids from their parent just so you can fulfill your hunger for vengeance and indulge your anger? is it really in the best interest of the kids to live in that kind of situation?
I have my own business and my bf is starting a job here soon as a software engineer. I am not rich but i am not poor by any stretch either. I have no interest in his money for my own personal needs especially that of my bf's (as what he's saying over and over) but I believe that he needs to provide for his kids and what they need. He is understandably angry and hurt and i feel insulted and hurt that my family would take his side without knowing the whole story of how our marriage broke down. I just want to move on and give the kids a normal, happy life.
Anyway, here are my questions.
1. How is the amount of child support determined?
2. How does the family court make sure that it is paid according to schedule?
3. Do I need to wait until there is final judgment before he starts paying child support?
4. Is it legal for him to send the kids monies to my sister instead of sending it to me? Can I ask the court to make him give to me directly instead of my sister?
I have no criminal record, I am sane and fully capable and able and am no threat to my children. So is my bf. Thanks again for your insights, I really appreciate it.