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My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

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sundaymorningstaple
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 10:10 pm

You still haven't learned. Your big mistake was cheating on your wife in the first place!

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x9200
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by x9200 » Tue, 10 Apr 2018 7:06 am

mahendraghatge wrote:No, she dont have any way to contact wife..but problem is she know where i stay..she can come down..she also says she is not dustbin to use and throw.
I wonder whether you told her when you started meeting up that you were actually married with a kid.

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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by PNGMK » Tue, 10 Apr 2018 8:27 am

You can get through this. Just cut off contact. You may need to leave Singapore. Actually I would. I'd go back to the states with my tail between my legs. You're not cut out for Asian w̶h̶o̶r̶e̶s̶ gold-diggers that's for sure.
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by Max Headroom » Tue, 10 Apr 2018 12:24 pm

Uhm, own up to your mistake? Eat some serious humble pie and hope your wife can forgive, though perhaps not necessarily forget.

If she can't, well, lesson learned eh. Hopefully.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 10 Apr 2018 1:42 pm

Here's a question for the OP....

Where is your wife? You child? I only ask because you have also posted on another board here in Singapore, almost verbatim, with the exception that you say she is "Working in the UK".
...41yrs old guy, holding an EP pass and staying in Singapore. I am married with a 4yr old son and staying alone in Singapore from past 4 months. Wife and son not staying with me. wife is working in UK.


But here you claim she is in the US and settled. How is this girlfriend going to tell your wife anything when even you don't know where she is? :-k

I'm thinking you are from neither the US nor the UK but from the subcontinent. Am I close?

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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by PNGMK » Tue, 10 Apr 2018 1:53 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Here's a question for the OP....

Where is your wife? You child? I only ask because you have also posted on another board here in Singapore, almost verbatim, with the exception that you say she is "Working in the UK".
...41yrs old guy, holding an EP pass and staying in Singapore. I am married with a 4yr old son and staying alone in Singapore from past 4 months. Wife and son not staying with me. wife is working in UK.


But here you claim she is in the US and settled. How is this girlfriend going to tell your wife anything when even you don't know where she is? :-k

I'm thinking you are from neither the US nor the UK but from the subcontinent. Am I close?
I automatically assumed he was!
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by BBCDoc » Tue, 10 Apr 2018 7:33 pm

Aaaand this is why professionals of negotiable affection exist...you are paying for them to go away...


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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by PNGMK » Wed, 11 Apr 2018 9:31 am

BBCDoc wrote:Aaaand this is why professionals of negotiable affection exist...you are paying for them to go away...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Who said that? Charlie Sheen I think? "I don't pay them for the sex, I pay them to leave after the sex!".
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by MikeJones » Wed, 11 Apr 2018 10:24 am

Sheen apparently said it during his trial a few years back in response to the judge asking why a man like him would need to pay for sex but it's an older quote than that I think. A quick google has it attributed to Dashiell Hammet or Errol Flynn but it's probably just one of those quotes/ideas that's been floating around for decades.

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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by Singaporeexpat2018 » Sun, 08 Jul 2018 11:29 am

Idiot

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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by AussieMumma » Fri, 20 Jul 2018 4:03 pm

There is no “getting out of this”. It was a choice you made now you get to take responsibility for it and deal with the consequences.

Cut off all contact with her. If she causes problems then deal with them as they come like a gentleman and not a slimey snake.

Also, man up, your wife deserves to know so that she can make her own choices regarding your relationship. Clearly it isn’t something you value anyway so what’s the worry?

Take the problem head on, if you try and weasel out of it you’ll end up digging yourself a deeper hole.

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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by rajagainstthemachine » Sat, 21 Jul 2018 6:37 pm

look at username, subcon confirm lah
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by casey5047 » Mon, 30 Jul 2018 1:07 pm

Everyone seems to be looking at this from a single angle: cutting off the woman you had an affair with, and not thinking about the wider implications for your marriage.

Clearly if you were willing to have an affair with a Filipino domestic helper - who is probably not a great conversationalist that you share much in common with, and, to put it mildly, not a temptress on the scale of Scarlett Johansson or Sora Aoi - you can't really love your wife or value your marriage.

You need to cut off the woman - PNGMK's blunt advice sounds right - then be honest with both yourself and your wife, and leave her or suggest to her that you have an open relationship. That way, you can continue to have affairs, which seem inevitable, without worry (would they even technically be affairs?).

Of course, you will need to get used to the taunting mental image of your wife swallowing another man's ejaculate, perhaps a street sweeper's (I can't think of the American male equivalent of a domestic helper in Singapore), but hey, you created this situation.

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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Post by PNGMK » Mon, 30 Jul 2018 6:06 pm

You're right Casey. I know so many many who screw around and think they are doing no wrong and the one day it all comes crashing down on them so they fess up and destroy their wife's life. I ask them when they are doing it - "you know you'll feel guilty " and they deny it and say "I'm just being an animal". But if we're animals why don't we have sex like animals? In public and with many females? (Jared Diamond wrote a fascinating book trying- unsuccessfully IMO - to explain this!). Because we are more than animals and that conscience, without some form of spiritual or religious salve, gets even the most hardened man eventually.

There, but for the grace of God go I.
I not lawyer/teacher/CPA.
You've been arrested? Law Society of Singapore can provide referrals.
You want an International School job? School website or http://www.ISS.edu
Your rugrat needs a School? Avoid for profit schools
You need Tax advice? Ask a CPA
You ran away without doing NS? Shame on you!

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