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My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

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mahendraghatge
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My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Sun, 08 Apr 2018 10:52 am

Hello Readers,

I have no idea where to seek help on the affair which i am having. I hope I'm posting in the right thread.

I hope i can get some suggestions on how to get out of this affair.

Here is my story:
I am married and have a kid and staying alone in Singapore from past 4 months. Family not staying with me. wife is working in States and settled. As I was lonely all the time i was just hooking up in some chat apps to kill my time. As this went for few weeks and one day i received response from Filipino lady (Domestic Helper). We started chatting and slowly started to meet for dinner and hanging around. This went on for one month and one day we checked in to hotel and made love. So from here it started and we kept meeting in free time. But soon i realized that what I'm doing is wrong and i wanted to stop and i started feeling guilty to my son and wife.

But some how the Filipino lady is not willing togive up and she threatening me that she will kill herself if we stop. She says she is deeply in love with me from past 3 months and very hard for her to let this go. We have talked about this matter several times but the lady is not willing to give up and we end up fighting all the time and i am really having hard time on this. She also knows where istay and where i work.

This is affecting both of us and I know in first place i am the one who invited this trouble myself and wish i would have controlled myself and put my focus on something else rather than having anaffair. I also regret myself getting into this.

So i have no clue what to do in this matter and how to get out of this. Is there anyone out there who can advise me on how to go about this? or anyone had gone through similar situvatio?

yesterday we had fight again and she says she deeply love me and moving forward se also said that if i can meet her monthly once for lunch and spend some 1 hr time she is ok with it, if i agree to this then my worry is what if her demands keeps increasing? i feel this is never ending and i am going through emotional abuse.

Please advise on how do i go about this. Can this be solved by legally or can i take police help?

Thank you for reading.

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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby PNGMK » Sun, 08 Apr 2018 4:00 pm

Cut off all contact. Delete your social media profiles and change your phone number. Move house if you have to. The police won't help.
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby DrScrumMaster » Sun, 08 Apr 2018 4:38 pm

Go down to Geylang. Wander around the cafes there until you find a guy at a table with lots of pistachio shells scattered around. Buy him a drink and then discuss his fee for sorting our your problem...

mahendraghatge
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Sun, 08 Apr 2018 7:24 pm

PNGMK wrote:Cut off all contact. Delete your social media profiles and change your phone number. Move house if you have to. The police won't help.


Changing house and phone number is good thought. But she knows where i work too..so how do i go about this. I really need to get out of this.

mahendraghatge
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Sun, 08 Apr 2018 10:04 pm

DrScrumMaster wrote:Go down to Geylang. Wander around the cafes there until you find a guy at a table with lots of pistachio shells scattered around. Buy him a drink and then discuss his fee for sorting our your problem...


Thank you for the suggesation. This approach might invite police trouble. I am hesitant to do this.

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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby PNGMK » Sun, 08 Apr 2018 11:46 pm

mahendraghatge wrote:
PNGMK wrote:Cut off all contact. Delete your social media profiles and change your phone number. Move house if you have to. The police won't help.


Changing house and phone number is good thought. But she knows where i work too..so how do i go about this. I really need to get out of this.

1. Involve her employer. They will almost certainly send her back if there is an indication she is mucking around. Offer to pay the airfare and replacement fee. I assume you're a cheapskate and won't do this so be aware the employer had the right to do you in as well if they find out who you are. Remember maids are STD and pregnancy tested every six months. If there's a chance of either of that occurring your problem will solve itself.
2. PPO. A rather difficult process. See a lawyer.
3. Why the heck did you give her so much private info?

PS. She can't follow you in to your company without trespassing and if she calls just screen the calls. I think in the end you may need to move to the states to be with your wife. You've fallen into the classic trap expats make here. Booze or women.
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mahendraghatge
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 12:05 am

PNGMK wrote:
mahendraghatge wrote:
PNGMK wrote:Cut off all contact. Delete your social media profiles and change your phone number. Move house if you have to. The police won't help.


Changing house and phone number is good thought. But she knows where i work too..so how do i go about this. I really need to get out of this.

1. Involve her employer. They will almost certainly send her back if there is an indication she is mucking around. Offer to pay the airfare and replacement fee. I assume you're a cheapskate and won't do this so be aware the employer had the right to do you in as well if they find out who you are. Remember maids are STD and pregnancy tested every six months. If there's a chance of either of that occurring your problem will solve itself.
2. PPO. A rather difficult process. See a lawyer.
3. Why the heck did you give her so much private info?

PS. She can't follow you in to your company without trespassing and if she calls just screen the calls. I think in the end you may need to move to the states to be with your wife. You've fallen into the classic trap expats make here. Booze or women.



Yes, i am in a big trap. Her employer is a expat and i dont think they care so much as they are open minded. Regarding pregnancy she has undergone operation for not having babies.

PPO - Can EP holder get this? I belive this is for only Singapore citizens and PR's.

Yes i am in big shit as i shared with her more personal info. I didn't realize it will come to this situvation.

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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby bgd » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 6:55 am

Take PNGMK's advice, cut all contact. See what happens. I wouldn't move unless it's absolutely necessary. Hopefully she will get the message and find another. These girls fall in and out of love easily.

But Pinay jealousy is a thing to behold. I've seen stalkers, fights, things flare up years after relationships finished and the suicide threat seems to be common, particularly with the younger girls. Very strange behaviour to someone like me who is just an observer. I'm just friendly with a small group of "normal" girls but see this behaviour in their wider circle.

If it's any consolation I have friends that reckon, through direct experience, that Thai girls are much worse.

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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby PNGMK » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 7:22 am

Anyone can try to take out a PPO. The question is whether the judge will issue a Personal Protection Order for such a case. I'm a bit surprised at OPs naivety. Where you a mummy's boy?
IANAL. IANACPA. IANA Teacher.
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aalan
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby aalan » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 10:01 am

mahendraghatge wrote:Hello Readers,

I have no idea where to seek help on the affair which i am having. I hope I'm posting in the right thread.

I hope i can get some suggestions on how to get out of this affair.

Here is my story:
I am married and have a kid and staying alone in Singapore from past 4 months. Family not staying with me. wife is working in States and settled. As I was lonely all the time i was just hooking up in some chat apps to kill my time. As this went for few weeks and one day i received response from Filipino lady (Domestic Helper). We started chatting and slowly started to meet for dinner and hanging around. This went on for one month and one day we checked in to hotel and made love. So from here it started and we kept meeting in free time. But soon i realized that what I'm doing is wrong and i wanted to stop and i started feeling guilty to my son and wife.

But some how the Filipino lady is not willing togive up and she threatening me that she will kill herself if we stop. She says she is deeply in love with me from past 3 months and very hard for her to let this go. We have talked about this matter several times but the lady is not willing to give up and we end up fighting all the time and i am really having hard time on this. She also knows where istay and where i work.

This is affecting both of us and I know in first place i am the one who invited this trouble myself and wish i would have controlled myself and put my focus on something else rather than having anaffair. I also regret myself getting into this.

So i have no clue what to do in this matter and how to get out of this. Is there anyone out there who can advise me on how to go about this? or anyone had gone through similar situvatio?

yesterday we had fight again and she says she deeply love me and moving forward se also said that if i can meet her monthly once for lunch and spend some 1 hr time she is ok with it, if i agree to this then my worry is what if her demands keeps increasing? i feel this is never ending and i am going through emotional abuse.

Please advise on how do i go about this. Can this be solved by legally or can i take police help?

Thank you for reading.
You must be sure that whatever you promise you must deliver,

And before agreeing with anything, you must go be firm with something like " if you were to demanding and not uphold your promise and then you will leave the scene "

You should not start in the first place. But things already done. Just let it be. Keep calm and move on. Don't to dwell on it. Cheers :)



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rajagainstthemachine
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby rajagainstthemachine » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 10:39 am

1. does she have any pictures/ videos of you guys together ?

2. if so delete all evidence of being with her.

3. pay her off if you have to OR cheat with another woman to get this one of your back.

4. have you also considered the possibility that maybe your wife could be dating someone too back in the states ?
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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PNGMK
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby PNGMK » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 10:45 am

No lah - that's death by a thousand cuts. Shut down all contact.

OP - does this woman have any way of contacting your wife? It sounds as though she may....(she's been in your apartment or snooped on your phone), you seem very open with your info. That's what I'd be trying to get in front of.
IANAL. IANACPA. IANA Teacher.
Arrested? Lawyer Up
International School job? School website or http://www.ISS.edu
School advice? Avoid for profit schools
Tax advice? CPA
Pay me $5k for 100% success filling in PR form!

mahendraghatge
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 8:41 pm

[quote="rajagainstthemachine"]1. does she have any pictures/ videos of you guys together ?

2. if so delete all evidence of being with her.

3. pay her off if you have to OR cheat with another woman to get this one of your back.

4. have you also considered the possibility that maybe your wife could be dating someone too back in the states

Yes, she has pict of us both together. She still keeping them. I tried offering her money but she says she dont want monry and needs me.. i have no idea how to get out of this now

mahendraghatge
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 8:42 pm

[quote="rajagainstthemachine"]1. does she have any pictures/ videos of you guys together ?

2. if so delete all evidence of being with her.

3. pay her off if you have to OR cheat with another woman to get this one of your back.

4. have you also considered the possibility that maybe your wife could be dating someone too back in the states

Yes, she has pict of us both together. She still keeping them. I tried offering her money but she says she dont want money and needs me.. i have no idea how to get out of this now

mahendraghatge
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Re: My Extramaritial Affair - Need Advise

Postby mahendraghatge » Mon, 09 Apr 2018 8:45 pm

PNGMK wrote:No lah - that's death by a thousand cuts. Shut down all contact.

OP - does this woman have any way of contacting your wife? It sounds as though she may....(she's been in your apartment or snooped on your phone), you seem very open with your info. That's what I'd be trying to get in front of.


No, she dont have any way to contact wife..but problem is she know where i stay..she can come down..she also says she is not dustbin to use and throw..i tried many things to settle down but nothing is working..i regret geting into this..big mistake i did was to share personal info..


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