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Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

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AmericanWereWolf
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Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby AmericanWereWolf » Tue, 03 Oct 2017 8:45 pm

Someone please help me understand this. I have been in SG for 4 days. I am American, bi-racial (1/2 black, 1/2 white) 6 feet 2 inches tall and have straight hair. I dress nicely, speak respectfully, lower my head when I pass people and am always polite. I occasionally wear earrings and have a slight stubble beard. Every since I got here people seem to be giving me the death stare. My Wife is Korean and I understand that when an Asian person sees another Asian with a black persons there may be some intolerance. However when I am standing by myself or walking casually with her ( as if we may be friends) people still seem to look at me that way. It's never shop owners or wait staff or any professionals but rather just people on the street ( mainly Chinese Singaporeans). Honestly, I'm hurt because I love this country and really want to fit in and be accepted. I just need to know if they are being this way because of something I am doing that is offensive and I am unaware or if my race and appearance alone are the cause. Someone please help, let me know your experience or shed some light. My Wife and I don't really know many people here and I don't know who I capfuls aske besides strangers.

Thank you!

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ecureilx
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby ecureilx » Tue, 03 Oct 2017 10:47 pm

AmericanWereWolf wrote:Someone please help me understand this. I have been in SG for 4 days. I am American, bi-racial (1/2 black, 1/2 white) 6 feet 2 inches tall and have straight hair. I dress nicely, speak respectfully, lower my head when I pass people and am always polite. I occasionally wear earrings and have a slight stubble beard. Every since I got here people seem to be giving me the death stare. My Wife is Korean and I understand that when an Asian person sees another Asian with a black persons there may be some intolerance. However when I am standing by myself or walking casually with her ( as if we may be friends) people still seem to look at me that way. It's never shop owners or wait staff or any professionals but rather just people on the street ( mainly Chinese Singaporeans). Honestly, I'm hurt because I love this country and really want to fit in and be accepted. I just need to know if they are being this way because of something I am doing that is offensive and I am unaware or if my race and appearance alone are the cause. Someone please help, let me know your experience or shed some light. My Wife and I don't really know many people here and I don't know who I capfuls aske besides strangers.

Thank you!
Singaporeans don't socialize much

As they are glued to their phones or thinking of how to make more $$

Take it easy

Join a club

JC, Rotary,.. Nearby CC

Or volunteer to know the local way of things

AmericanWereWolf
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby AmericanWereWolf » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:25 am

Thank you for your time and I certainly appreciate your reply. I agree with you 100%. I know that Singaporeans are reserved and that it is hard and time consuming to make friends here. I accept that. My problem is that I am not trying to make friends or social contacts. I simply want to walk down the street or eat at a Hawker center without random people glaring at me like I have to plague. Am I missing something here? Are Singaporeans just like that to people they don't know, like grilling in New York, or is there a major racism issue here? It's important to me because that is exactly why I want to leave the US. But since I have arrived here it seems that I am being viewed as a pariah by the locals and I can't figure out what I have done to offend them.....

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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby Pal » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:31 am

Hang around in this forum everyday 8-)

You will learn the Singaporean way in no time!

Perhaps pick up a little Singlish to blend in with Singaporeans around you? :lol:
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby Strong Eagle » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 1:11 am

You make rather sweeping statements about all Singaporeans. They don't hate you. What you might find

  1. The younger generation thinks that you are coming in and stealing their jobs and their women, and that you are making more money than you should as an expat.
  2. Quite a few Singaporeans are racially prejudiced, even to the point that Indians who complain about racism turn up their noses at their lower caste brethren.
  3. Quite a number of Singaporeans don't want their daughters marrying outside their race, and it doesn't matter whether you are black or white. Think the Georgia cracker whose daughter comes home with a black boyfriend.

On the other hand, there are many Singaporeans that are not like that at all. Just remember that the people with the problem are not you, they are the ones holding these positions. Don't worry about it, enjoy the friendly people, forget the ones who are arseholes.

AmericanWereWolf
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby AmericanWereWolf » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 1:26 am

Thank you Strong Eagle. I really needed that right now because I am really stressing this. I don't mean to make sweeping statements because I have met some very nice people who do not seem to have that outlook. I Guess it just got to me because I really want to be accepted and fit in here. I speak Singlish, can mirror the local accent to a T and even learned Mandarin so I can speak one of the Mother tongues. Maybe I am reading too far into things and should give it time. I have a full day out and about tomorrow. I hope to encounter some more of the friendly people and have a good time exploring with my Wife. Thanks for the words of encouragement bru!

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x9200
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby x9200 » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 6:26 am

AmericanWereWolf wrote:Thank you for your time and I certainly appreciate your reply. I agree with you 100%. I know that Singaporeans are reserved and that it is hard and time consuming to make friends here. I accept that. My problem is that I am not trying to make friends or social contacts. I simply want to walk down the street or eat at a Hawker center without random people glaring at me like I have to plague. Am I missing something here? Are Singaporeans just like that to people they don't know, like grilling in New York, or is there a major racism issue here? It's important to me because that is exactly why I want to leave the US. But since I have arrived here it seems that I am being viewed as a pariah by the locals and I can't figure out what I have done to offend them.....

I really suspect this may be the problem. You are basically oversensitive in that respect. Please, don't get me wrong, I am not saying you have no reasons, but it seems, you came over to Singapore already sensitized to how people around may perceive you, and you had some connected expectations and hopes.
Most of these stares are probably just curiosity. And they (Singaporeans) are very inquisitive and like to know many things beyond what is acceptable in the Western world so if you are any different they will stare at you, but this doesn't mean they hate you.

Some Singaporeans are of course racists like within any other society but I have never seen it manifesting such blatant way to show it right in your face when passing one by. This is IMHO against their culture, especially for the Chinese.

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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby PNGMK » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 8:59 am

Looking (staring with no facial expression) at people out of curiousity is not rude here.
I have gay, black, Asian friends and then JR8.

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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby The Ref » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 9:13 am

AmericanWereWolf wrote:S.... and have a slight stubble beard...

Given you nic, and that it is almost full moon, I have an idea
:-" :-" :-"

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rajagainstthemachine
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby rajagainstthemachine » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 10:25 am

PNGMK wrote:Looking (staring with no facial expression) at people out of curiousity is not rude here.


+1

you'll get used to it, i get stared at by my own countrymen for having an angmoh as a partner.. :???:
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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ecureilx
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby ecureilx » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:16 am

x9200 wrote:Some Singaporeans are of course racists like within any other society but I have never seen it manifesting such blatant way to show it right in your face when passing one by. This is IMHO against their culture, especially for the Chinese.


LOL. I don't know, but compared to Singapore, have seen more folks in Nearby countries stare at me like I am some exotic breed, and I am not even white :D

PNGMK wrote:Looking (staring with no facial expression) at people out of curiousity is not rude here.


I thought this was not so common here, maybe OP hasn't travelled a lot in the region ?

The Ref wrote:
AmericanWereWolf wrote:S.... and have a slight stubble beard...

Given you nic, and that it is almost full moon, I have an idea
:-" :-" :-"


:D :D

casey5047
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby casey5047 » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:58 am

Have you been to Korea before, and how were your experiences there? Generally speaking, I found Koreans to be racist. (I've never seen a bar in Singapore saying 'no black people,' because it will upset the local Korean customers, who are worried about contracting ebola).

I think it's interesting that you say you've only been here 4 days. Given that you're new to the country, could you be overly alert, over-analysing the minutiae of daily Singapore life and its absence of social graces? I was frustrated by the lack of politeness, and the way that some people would stare at me, until I started spending my travelling time half-asleep glued to my smartphone, like most other people, and stopped noticing it.

As people have said, there is some hostility to foreigners, based on an outdated stereotype that all foreigners are working in the financial or tech industries, on generous expat packages, and spend their free time drinking cocktails and laughing at locals. This hasn't been helped by the few who actually seem to fulfill that stereotype. However the hostility is usually, entirely contained online (websites like All Singapore Stuff); if people stare at you on the street, it's probably curiosity - they're thinking, 'you don't see that combination (Korean and mixed-race/black) often,' in an amateur anthropological way. Some of it might even be jealousy, given that most Singaporean men are obsessed with Korean women.

Singaporeans (like most East Asians) tend to be racialist - they believe race determines your beliefs, character and values, and that race and nationality are intertwined - but rarely actually racist, especially if they're under 60. Singapore is an international city, which attracts many tourists, and many Singaporeans are fairly well-traveled; actual racism doesn't tend to flourish in such places.

I wouldn't bother with speaking Singlish though. Personally I think foreigners speaking Singlish come across as embarrassingly desperate and pathetic (nothing more so than white people who refer to themselves as 'ang mohs'). They may laugh for a few seconds, but they'll respect you less for it. Be yourself.

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ecureilx
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby ecureilx » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 1:32 pm

casey5047 wrote:Have you been to Korea before, and how were your experiences there? Generally speaking, I found Koreans to be racist. (I've never seen a bar in Singapore saying 'no black people,' because it will upset the local Korean customers, who are worried about contracting ebola).


I heard of the above, but never been to Korea, so didn't dare say it out loud !!!!

mxw1991
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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby mxw1991 » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 2:10 pm

Don't sweat too much about this. Singaporeans are just not really sociable and friendly until you engage them. Just chill and dun think too much abt it kay :D

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Re: Why do Singaporeans hate me?!?

Postby Barnsley » Wed, 04 Oct 2017 3:54 pm

Pal wrote:Hang around in this forum everyday 8-)

You will learn the Singaporean way in no time!

Perhaps pick up a little Singlish to blend in with Singaporeans around you? :lol:


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