To the male expats here, what has been your experience dating the local girls?

[rajagainstthemachine]

Anyway, local girl here.

I know there is a general perception in this thread that Singaporean ladies are money-minded.

This could be due to high uncertainty avoidance. Singapore is known for it.

Feeling like you’re hanging out with a guy friend? This is actually a popular dating style in Singapore, be it dating a local or non-local. Step 1, become friends. Step 2, paktor (Hokkien for dating). Step 1 makes it easier to judge a person’s character while being emotionally ‘less exposed’. It’s a great step for the risk-adverse women who want to play it safe. After all, who likes heartbreak? If she thinks you are a suitable romantic partner, then the real dating begins. (Yay!)

great post! especially comment about uncertainty avoidance.. except its not high.. its a bit extreme.

[earthfriendly]

Mr. EF did not understand why I turned away from his kiss on the fist few dates and took it as a sign of disinterest. I did not enjoy dating and only did it as my biological clock was ticking furiously . I was looking for somebody trustworthy and would respect me for who I am. And it takes time to access a person. Until I deem him to be trustworthy, I rather not indulge in flirtatious behaviors nor sharing the most precious and personal aspect of myself.

Does that make me a joyless and cold person who has lost all zest for life? Too serious for my own good? Or a person that takes a long term view?

It depends on what your objectives are? Do you see dating as a fun and social activity allowing you to meet more people? Or are you dating to find a marriage partner?

One of my daughter is like me. Her "I will not waste my time on dating" . Another HK friend met and married her husband after 3 months. As she already knew what she wanted and he fit the bill. She did not want to spend all that time on dating either. Her marriage is going strong, both husband and wife are family-oriented. Low in drama and high in substance. Just like my own marriage.

[PNGMK]

Actually your formula is one I recommend for all women... far too many girls wake up at 40, childless, with no ring and a useless sack of shit in the bed next to them wondering why they gave away the milk for free, and all the equal rights in the world won't make them feel better. Western liberal values = unhappy women so many times.

[earthfriendly]

Should I patent this "formula" ?

[PNGMK]

Should I patent this "formula" ?

Just preach it.

[bgd]

Does "Singaporean girls" generally refer to SG Chinese gals or do other ethnic groups from SG behave similarly? Also am curious if Malaysian Chinese are any (culture/behavior) different from SG Chinese gals?

I don't date locals but, generally speaking, I find Malays/Indonesian girls/women to be more friendly (in food/cafe service) than Chinese gals/aunties.

Inquiring minds want to know ...

That's a good point. My assumption would be Chinese, probably because there are more of them. I haven't ever looked past the "avoid Singapore girl" comment. Next time it comes up I'll ask.

[earthfriendly]

Now, that is what I called a happy ending

http://www.inspiremore.com/8-dollar-eng ... gn=partner

[BeJa222]

To sum up I have been dating a few Singaporean girls recently. And to say the least, the dating scene here is very different from what I am used to in the West. I am an American Chinese and have dated lots of girls with different cultural background. I have dated asian (Malaysian, Filipino & Hong Kong girls even Thais) and white girls alike. Generally my experience has been the usual typical date: with lots of flirting, light touches, teasing, bantering and laughters.

I recently got relocated to Singapore and after a few months I decided to hit the dating scene in Singapore. I decided to hit on this girl at work, got her number and she seem excited to go out with me when texting. Just from texting, she seem fairly normal, although her texting responses to my teasing & flirting can be quite awkward at times - but I never thought much of that at that time. Anyway, fast forward to the actual date, to summarise my experience, I felt like I was out with a guy friend rather than a date.

I did the usual routine, flirting, having deep conversations, teasing, some light touches. But the only thing that comes close to a "feminine" response is some laughs, smiles & eye contact. Of course she may not be interested in me at all which could explain why the lack of responses / reciprocation. But I think its safe to assume that she should have some interest based on texting cues & the fact that she agreed with the date. Anyway that was the weirdest date ever, it felt so one-sided, I lost some interest after the dinner. I was actually planning to take her to dessert after, but changed my mind as I thought she wasn't really interested.

But surprisingly after the dinner she suggested dessert, so I was like hmm maybe she is starting to warm-up. We went for dessert. But once again, same thing, lack of signals, it really felt like I was out with another guy. My guess is that Singaporean girls either lack emotion or have troubles expressing their emotions. I already did my part in my opinion (taking all the initiatives) so I dont think she is afraid of rejection.

Anyway at first I rubbed it off as a one off experience, ie. I shouldnt be using her to generalise the other Singaporean girls, she may be a peculiar one. But I then dated another Singaporean girl whom was introduced to me through a friend & the same thing happened again. Once again it feels like Im hanging out with a guy rather than a girl. To sum it up, I cant feel the liveliness and energy of a girl that you usually get during dates, which evolves into chemistry. Anyway, once again a sample size of two girls is too small to tell. But from what I gathered from my Singaporean male friends, it seems they generally agree with me that Singapore girls can be quite emotionally detached and generally lacks enthusiasm, energy and passion. Funny that I have actually always wondered why were my local male colleagues almost always married to a non-Singaporean (mostly married to Malaysian / Indonesian / China girls). I guess the local girls here are just really lacking for some reason?

Extra info would be the 2 girls I have dated are at the age range of (22 to 25). They are also fairly educated (graduated from Local Universities). Maybe they are just less experienced in dating? I will try dating some older local girls to see if that's the case, but I am only 28 myself, and would prefer to date younger girls.

So my question to the local expats here: What was your experience like dating a local Singaporean girl? Do Singaporean girls escalate much slower than girls from other countries / your home countries? Do Singaporean girls usually need more time to warm up before they show some enthusiasm / excitement / cheerfulness / liveliness?

Another small little thing I have noticed is that the local girls can be quite fussy at times. They seem to enjoy complaining which can be quite a turn off. For instance the second girl I dated kept complaining that the food at the Japanese restaurant we had dinner was horrible. Anyway I will try dating one more Singaporean girl before giving up. I have heard the Malaysians (which are close neighbours to Singapore) are much more interesting breed. So I will probably check out the Malaysians girls next, they seem to also have healthier curves

dude, that's only 2 girls, if you've dated more than 10 then i think you can make assumptions already. but 2 is too small a number.

on the other hand, singaporeans in general are quite fussy, complaining is our pasttime!

[sundaymorningstaple]

on the other hand, singaporeans in general are quite fussy, complaining is our pasttime!

That, sure as hell, isn't something to brag about.