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Re: Please help serious family problem Indian woman

Posted: Sat, 02 Apr 2016 10:18 pm
by sundaymorningstaple
bhurirav wrote:
ecureilx wrote:
PNGMK wrote:BBC; perhaps you're right - the OP's posting was a well of text and I may have mistaken bisexual for chromosomal issues. Regardless 'annulment' might offer her a slightly less painful escape. Commonly used in the Philippines because the church won't allow divorces....
With apologies in advance to you and BBC.

I suspect the OP was looking for a way out of her Moral dilemma.

She is NOT looking for legal advice, and well, her story is not totally off, in India. I heard of similar stories, and the movie "FIRE" featuring Shabna Azmi was not fiction after all, I am convinced of that.

I don't recall OP saying where she got married, so suggestion about Divorce in Singapore is moot, if she got married in India. Divorces can go on for years in India, if one of the parties has sufficient money to delay Justice.

And PNGMK, since you mentioned PH, did you know transmission of communicable disease can be used as a reason to fast track divorce in Philippines ? ;)

The movie FIRE https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_%281996_film%29


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One of the reasons why I want to use the tactic of "blackmail" for which I was so criticized is precisely this, I know my husband might try to delay a divorce to trouble me, the only way he will let me go easily is if I threaten to speak out about his and his family's role in the friend's affair, he and his family are widely suspected of what I can only confirm, he knows that if I do choose to speak out, he will naturally be regarded as the lowest of the low & friend's relatives will actually be delighted, my words can be the final proof required.

What if he chooses to delay 5-7 years?
ecureilx wrote:
BBCWatcher wrote:"Because our friends are having kids and think we're odd" is a supremely bad reason to decide to have a child, which is at least what you implied. Please don't do that, at least for the child's sake.
With 100% zero malice, you need to have some sensitivity to Indian culture, when you come out with suggestions. Especially when the lady here seems to be educated and smart enough to have known what she was getting into.

In The Sub-continent, being single is taboo, beyond an age. Heck, it's bad.

And the parents will the ridicule of the town and will be taunted if their offsprings aren't married at a certain age. And suggestions will range from mild to extremely terrible.

Once the marriage happens, if baby doesn't come within a year or so, again, the parents will be taunted, ridiculed, and even may see invites for weddings etc being dropped- as the children who don't produce babies = unlucky parents = don't invite them for weddings where they will become back luck.

And there is a lot of social pressure to 'get things done'.

Again, I am of the belief you meant no malice, but, suggestions to go for artificial insemination, adoption etc are against a lot of sub-con peoples' belief that a) marriage will get things settled, and once married if things don't go the right way, b) having a baby will get things resolved.

And Marriage + Baby is the universal solution in the Sub-Continent for even schizophrenics, gays, seizures, intellectually challenged and all .. And yes, that's how things go.
bhurirav wrote:@All
I will try to reply to all others tomorrow
please do not judge me, none of you are exactly in my shoes.
I doubt anybody here is judging you, but it's a bit perplexing for you to come here, spill sordid details, and then insist you are not to be judged, and then I wonder what you would like to hear.

That you are confident that you are doing the right thing in sucking the soul and money out of the man who trusted you, well, I don't know what to say.

Re: RE: Re: Please help serious family problem Indian woman

Posted: Tue, 26 Apr 2016 10:05 pm
by bhurirav
ecureilx wrote: So you have no part in this charade but your husband's? Hence he need to be punished?
I had decided that post would be my last, but whenever I've looked at this thread I've felt like answering this question so here goes, as per what I believe:

Regarding the plot hatched by my husband, no it was entirely conceptualized by my husband and his parents, I have no part in that. It was entirely a "brainchild" of husband and wealthy friend's father.

Re: Please help serious family problem Indian woman

Posted: Tue, 26 Apr 2016 10:51 pm
by sundaymorningstaple
Now when does chapter two start.