Re: Please help serious family problem Indian woman
Posted: Sat, 02 Apr 2016 10:18 pm
bhurirav wrote:One of the reasons why I want to use the tactic of "blackmail" for which I was so criticized is precisely this, I know my husband might try to delay a divorce to trouble me, the only way he will let me go easily is if I threaten to speak out about his and his family's role in the friend's affair, he and his family are widely suspected of what I can only confirm, he knows that if I do choose to speak out, he will naturally be regarded as the lowest of the low & friend's relatives will actually be delighted, my words can be the final proof required.ecureilx wrote:With apologies in advance to you and BBC.PNGMK wrote:BBC; perhaps you're right - the OP's posting was a well of text and I may have mistaken bisexual for chromosomal issues. Regardless 'annulment' might offer her a slightly less painful escape. Commonly used in the Philippines because the church won't allow divorces....
I suspect the OP was looking for a way out of her Moral dilemma.
She is NOT looking for legal advice, and well, her story is not totally off, in India. I heard of similar stories, and the movie "FIRE" featuring Shabna Azmi was not fiction after all, I am convinced of that.
I don't recall OP saying where she got married, so suggestion about Divorce in Singapore is moot, if she got married in India. Divorces can go on for years in India, if one of the parties has sufficient money to delay Justice.
And PNGMK, since you mentioned PH, did you know transmission of communicable disease can be used as a reason to fast track divorce in Philippines ?
The movie FIRE https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_%281996_film%29
What if he chooses to delay 5-7 years?
ecureilx wrote:With 100% zero malice, you need to have some sensitivity to Indian culture, when you come out with suggestions. Especially when the lady here seems to be educated and smart enough to have known what she was getting into.BBCWatcher wrote:"Because our friends are having kids and think we're odd" is a supremely bad reason to decide to have a child, which is at least what you implied. Please don't do that, at least for the child's sake.
In The Sub-continent, being single is taboo, beyond an age. Heck, it's bad.
And the parents will the ridicule of the town and will be taunted if their offsprings aren't married at a certain age. And suggestions will range from mild to extremely terrible.
Once the marriage happens, if baby doesn't come within a year or so, again, the parents will be taunted, ridiculed, and even may see invites for weddings etc being dropped- as the children who don't produce babies = unlucky parents = don't invite them for weddings where they will become back luck.
And there is a lot of social pressure to 'get things done'.
Again, I am of the belief you meant no malice, but, suggestions to go for artificial insemination, adoption etc are against a lot of sub-con peoples' belief that a) marriage will get things settled, and once married if things don't go the right way, b) having a baby will get things resolved.
And Marriage + Baby is the universal solution in the Sub-Continent for even schizophrenics, gays, seizures, intellectually challenged and all .. And yes, that's how things go.
I doubt anybody here is judging you, but it's a bit perplexing for you to come here, spill sordid details, and then insist you are not to be judged, and then I wonder what you would like to hear.bhurirav wrote:@All
I will try to reply to all others tomorrow
please do not judge me, none of you are exactly in my shoes.
That you are confident that you are doing the right thing in sucking the soul and money out of the man who trusted you, well, I don't know what to say.