What sort of morality do I need to demonstrate to husband? Does he have any morals himself. As I said he didn't exactly marry me out of love but because he is bi or at least the reasons he continues paying money to my family is his sexuality. Yes, I know that critical comments might keep coming, but this blackmailing I will tell all followed by husband shelling out money for my family has gone on for quite a few years now.RoastBeefBaron wrote:I drafted a massive reply and then Tapatalk crashed, and now I can't be anussed retyping the whole thing. The gist of what I was going to say is that raj is right in the sense that you want to divorce your husband for his amoral nature yet you seem to be keen on manipulating him for your own means, suggesting you either feel he doesn't deserve better treatment or you're as bad as he is. Secondly, you mentioned he's bisexual but haven't expanded on why you even mentioned it. Does he cheat on you with other dudes? If so I think that's a good reason to divorce him. Or does he just happen to like dudes but is still faithful? Does that in itself bother you?
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Husband would "live together" with this friend(with what that phrase implies) even before we married. I would occasionally come to spend a weekend or a few days with my husband, at that time, I say this with complete truthfulness, I had no idea husband was doing this behind my back, or even with my financial situation, I would never consent to marry him.
Another guy used to live with husband, his friend in the place they then rented, that other guy(this is something I was aware of) used to spend a lot of his money getting prostitutes home every weekend. I was actually worried that husband(he was my boyfriend then) would cheat on me, because of this other guy's influence
I used to wonder why this guy doesn't get married if he's so sex mad, husband had laughingly said it was because he was negotiating the biggest dowry and salary. That was true anyway.
One day husband tells me that I can't come and spend the night anymore, as this friend has said that husband and his friend are (as this friend put it) a very corrupting influence, he had told his parents about us and his parents had warned him to stop living with such guys etc.
Husband and his friend said that they won't stay with this other guy any longer than required, and were looking for a new place.
I was shocked and surprised of course, because
1) What has husband's friend done?
2) Moreover, how can someone who sleeps with prostitutes every weekend be so holier than thou about a girlfriend who would soon be a wife anyway living in occasionally?
I told my husband that I can go and confront this guy rightaway about his double standards and hypocrisy, husband urgently stopped me, I had also said that I can call up this friend's parents and inform them that their son sleeps with call girls, husband was even more horrified, which surprised me.
After that, husband and friend moved out, but if we ever ran into this friend(quite a few times, in SG's small Indian circle, restaurants, movie theatres etc) husband and friend would never enter the hall, once they even missed a much needed bus because this guy was at the stop
Later I learnt from this guy, when I met him once at an event husband didn't attend that he had no issues about us living together, nor did his parents, he had issues with husband and friend living together, his parents claimed that would also pervert him etc.
I confronted husband, husband acknowledged this relationship, MIL is also aware of this.
So started the circle of asking for more money for my family, threatening husband with revealing this if he ever complained, shutting up in laws with this etc.
I had been debating leaving my husband for quite a few years now, but my financial situation was even worse earlier. Also as I have admitted, family then was even more in need of money(sibling can possibly be financially independent soon and they have also managed to have some savings now out of what was sent to them monthly) and I had hoped in time, relationship with friend would end.
Now I have seen that he is not only bi but immoral in other ways as well.