BGR Questions of Singaporean Male & SWF

[Cultureclasher]

Firstly, i am not sure this is the proper channel to post a few things on my mind on relationships.

I am not an expat. I am a local born and bred Singapore male who had been living in a couple of countries.

Recently, I was introduced by a friend to his collegue who is a 32yr SWF from Spain. We only met a a couple of times and been on a single date. I felt it went well. And it seems that we may be heading to bringing this relationship to another level.

Here's where the problem starts bothering me. SWF...first time in Asia. And i been recieving on and off signals. Its driving me crazy to be honest. My question is : how do we know when a SWF here on 2 year EP has interest in having a relationship with a local male?

I know i may recieve troll comments. But i am really trying not to embarass myself or her really to read too much into things. =)

[PNGMK]

I'm sure you'll know when she's interested. Good luck.

[earthfriendly]

We are already working with a complicated subject and without knowing her personally or much information about her, it is tough to crack the code. I think it is best to give her space and make her feel comfortable (non pressuring environment) so she can communicate her honest feeling to you.

As for Hawking himself, he says there is only one enduring mystery of the universe he has found impossible to crack: Women.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/stephen-haw ... -70-women/

[Cultureclasher]

Thank you guys for your honest replies. As both of us are no longer young, i am 40 and she is 32, many stuff are running through my head as i believed, in her's too. Its unfamiliar grounds we are going into. And the more the 2 of us talk about it, the more issues we know we will face.
As of now, both of us agreed to just let things take its own course. I am also apprehensive too due to society's biases on interracial relationships.
Thank you all for taking time to read my post.

P/s: as if things are not complicated enough, she just drop a bomb on me. Her whole family is coming to Singapore to visit her soon. And she asked if i want to meet them....

[x9200]

Don't overanalyse and don't assume too much. Don't make it a local and a foreigner unless she has already bad experience in Singapore and managed to develop some prejudice - if it turns good, you will find a way (jobwise and logistically). If she likes you and is worth anything she will not see you categorised but rather look for who you really are.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Several years ago, we had and East-West (M-F) marriage poster (boffenl) on here and she stayed on the board quit a while. Some of us had met her at a gathering we had and they seemed to work okay. I also knew of one other case personally with an English lady married to a Local Chinese (she worked for me for a little while). Both couples also had offspring as well. Give it space and let communications remain easy going, she will find a way to communicate her desires as will you. In fact, if it was like my marriage (also East-West (F-M)) our talk just drifted from day to day to "if we were married" to "when we get married" to 'I do" there was never a 'proper' proposal as such but just kind of drifted into the reality it was happening. Did it work? I had two 7 year marriages before this one (it was her first) We now have two grown children and have been married almost 33 years. (we were not spring chickens either. I was 37 and she was 38 - also very strange for an east-west marriage as usually the 'Asian bride' is 10 to 25 years younger than the western groom. I wish you good luck. It can work. I just remembered one other couple who used to be neighbours in Seletar Camp - He was a local Indian and she also British - they've been married for well over a quarter of a century as well.

[Cultureclasher]

Thank you very much. It is really encouraging to.know that there are success cases here in Singapore. Frankly, i never thought i will be attracted to a foreign girl. But i guess life is full of surprises. Lets see how it work out and i will post more here.

Once again, thank you so much guys. =)

[sundaymorningstaple]

Best advice I can give you is listen to you hearts and not to your peers or family. Only the two of you sleep in that bed. I was raised in a very segregrated period of time in the US (I graduated from school in 1965) I lived only 16 miles from the start of what would eventually be called the long, hot summer in the US (H Rap Brown's inciting of a riot in Cambridge, MD). I was raised that way and it took many years as an adult to work through a lot of ingrained stuff. Who would have though I'd eventually marry a Singaporean Tamil Indian! We found that the 'brickbats' from others here made us always 'I've got your back!" and just made us stronger. Good luck, however it goes. If it's meant to be and you give the space to take roots and tend it gingerly till it gets a good grip, you will have a winner. (And also make your peers jealous as hell in the process!)

[x9200]

I had two 7 year marriages before this one (it was her first) We now have two grown children and have been married almost 33 years.

You are very fast man or you married for the first time before you turned 18?

[sundaymorningstaple]

Married the 1st time in 1969. Divorced in August 1976. 2nd time married on 4th of July, 1976 (Bicentennial) and yeah I was a bigamist for 6 weeks (the divorce I thought I had was a legal separation and not a final divorce but it was in Latin so how? Funny thing was I was divorced in MD and remarried in MD the 2nd time and the Marriage license bureau didn't know it either. Divorced the 2nd time 6 weeks before my current marriage in 1983 - Did have a legal separation however for a couple of years before finalizing the 2nd divorce. So, if you offset the 6 week double marriage during 1 & 2 and the 6 week gap between 2 & 3. I've been married continuously since 1969 (I was 21 the first time. So I guess I've been married around 47 years but it just took 3 wives to do it!

NB: I'll be 69 later this year!

[x9200]

You look like you were in your mid 50s (or younger) so I understand this 69 is you again deviating to sex topics.

[nanana]

You look like you were in your mid 50s (or younger) so I understand this 69 is you again deviating to sex topics.

Agreed.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Whatever works! Right?
It was a very good year? What was the name of that song?

Remember one thing, when you get too old to cut the mustard you can still lick the jar! Did I say that?

[Cultureclasher]

Hahahhaa...you guys rock! ^^ already i am facing those 'brickbats' from friends whom i had thought would understand. Sigh...but to be honest, she is really special to me. I want to give her some space and time to settle down here before any relationships come in. Just feel it should be fair to her. =) thanks for the great advice guys( and/or gals!)

[taxico]

my 2c:

if you've lived in "western" countries, you'll find out caucasian girls/women are more or less the same as the ones from most asian nations.

if you're interested, give it a shot. many white girls don't make the first move (especially if they don't know the guy well) as they have an impression asian guys don't (like?) dating white girls, or, that asian guys only date asian women.

right or wrong impression, white, latino, asian or black - it doesn't matter. if you're interested, give it a shot like she's a normal woman you know.

good luck!