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Filipino Bar girls

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JR8
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby JR8 » Tue, 13 Oct 2015 3:47 pm

I expect most (or perhaps all) here consider forgiveness as an essential and required part of life. But for me the issue is that despite getting married soon, he doesn’t accept that there is anything wrong with ‘just playing around’; in fact as you see he effectively denies that it has significance. So if he considers it to have no significance now (of all times!), then why should he in future? That’s why I suggested going ahead with marriage means accepting his behaviour now as is; and it seems to be loud and clear that that is no foundation upon which to embark on a lifetime contract*.

The danger is greater within a pre-marriage long-distance-relationship, especially if the couple have never lived together. In such circumstances how well can you really know a person. Well enough to happily plan for your lifetime ahead together?
[X-ref: arranged marriages. But I think that can be different, as the expectations of the whole 'village' are upon you and watching and there to support etc].

‘If you love him, and if he’s a genuinely good guy...’, but IMO so far he’s demonstrated that he’s a complete douche-bag. Consider it from a parent’s perspective, would you want your daughter to soon marry someone who is currently going out whoring, who considers it just a bit of 'playing around'?

It can get tricky when you’re planning on marrying ‘soon’. That’s when you see that the whole marriage process build it own momentum that is pretty much and progressively completely out of your hands. It becomes almost an external thing outside of your control. You’ve a date in mind, decided on a venue, your friends and family are pencilling in the date and travel required to attend. Pretty soon they’re asking about gifts, what people will be wearing (so they can buy outfits), and booking hotels. It snowballs very quickly, and there is a point early on, where whatever doubts you might have had about your future spouse get over-run by the expectations of others. There is a point where you feel there is no going back, as you fear you’ll cause so much disappointment and expense to your friends and family. Not only that you fear if you postpone or cancel it you’ll be labelled for life as a fool. So with the burden of expectations upon you of probably the biggest event of your life, it’s too easy going through with a marriage you have doubts about, than pulling the plug on it. So you go ahead hoping that ‘s/he’ll change’, and meanwhile pretend that everything is wonderful ...

What you lose perspective of as this event evolves into it’s own living and breathing entity, is that almost unspoken but underneath it all, *ultimately* your friends and family want you to be happy. You might fear the world will end if you postpone your wedding, but in fact it will surprise you how much support you will get if you feel you have to. But better to test that out before your friends and family have spent a load of money re: the event!


* And yes, as will be apparent, this is how I was brought up to consider it.
'Do it or do not do it: You will regret both' - Kierkegaard

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ecureilx
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby ecureilx » Tue, 13 Oct 2015 4:30 pm

JR8 wrote:So you go ahead hoping that ‘s/he’ll change’, and meanwhile pretend that everything is wonderful ...


In summary, it is the same as somebody I know did, who got the schizophrenic boy married, hoping he will change.

And very soon, the fellow started to have episodes imagining that his wife is planning to kill him and take his money (not that he had any money anyway .. )

bgd
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby bgd » Tue, 13 Oct 2015 4:49 pm

How does that saying go...

Boys marry thinking the girl won't change.
Girls marry knowing that she will change him.

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Barnsley
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby Barnsley » Tue, 13 Oct 2015 5:35 pm

Where did the poster meet her boyfriend.

Probably explain somethings.
Life is short, paddle harder!!

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ecureilx
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby ecureilx » Tue, 13 Oct 2015 5:53 pm

Barnsley wrote:Where did the poster meet her boyfriend.

Probably explain somethings.


are you 'insinuating' something ?? :roll: :roll:


PS, I did ask OP, in a nice way, but no response ....

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Barnsley
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby Barnsley » Thu, 15 Oct 2015 9:58 am

ecureilx wrote:
Barnsley wrote:Where did the poster meet her boyfriend.

Probably explain somethings.


are you 'insinuating' something ?? :roll: :roll:


PS, I did ask OP, in a nice way, but no response ....


No update ..... I was just using my basic Sherlock Holmes ..

What do you think?
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x9200
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby x9200 » Thu, 15 Oct 2015 10:28 am

The basic Sherlock Holmes would expect that if the case she knew the answers to her questions and didn't need to write about it to the expat forum. Or you both mean Jurong Bird Park?

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Strong Eagle
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby Strong Eagle » Thu, 15 Oct 2015 11:02 am

x9200 wrote:The basic Sherlock Holmes would expect that if the case she knew the answers to her questions and didn't need to write about it to the expat forum. Or you both mean Jurong Bird Park?


Elementary, dear Watson. :cool:

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martincymru
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby martincymru » Thu, 15 Oct 2015 5:51 pm

If you truly love someone then if they are happy, so are you.

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ecureilx
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Re: RE: Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby ecureilx » Thu, 15 Oct 2015 8:35 pm

martincymru wrote:If you truly love someone then if they are happy, so are you.

Even if they have a lot of accidental sex outside the relationship? :)

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x9200
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Re: Filipino Bar girls

Postby x9200 » Thu, 15 Oct 2015 9:14 pm

...and why they?


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