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How to measure friendship

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KLS
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Posts: 30
Joined: Sat, 23 Oct 2004

How to measure friendship

Postby KLS » Wed, 19 Jan 2005 1:25 pm

Impossible!!!

I normally don't trust any of my so called friends. Past experience of losing all of my personal possessions, was a kick in the teeth.

But that was 25 years ago! last year I was doing some business in UK, when an old friend of mine, was also interested, any way to cut a long story short.

The wife took a position in Singapore, So I had to leave UK quite quickly, the friend said I will sell your stuff for you and deposit the money in your account!

The alarm bells started ringing, has I pondered his reply! I thought to myself, "well I have loaned him several hundred pounds before, and he paid me back eventually" I should really learn to trust people!


Ok! I agreed, I will be back in 6 months, so off I went to Singapore, on my return, I approached my friend, He said "Sorry mate I spent your money 25,000 Sing $" Oh shit what do I do, should I punch seven kinds of shit out of him?

Anyway he gave me the sob story of how he and his wife split up, he was running around with an 18 year old scrubber, mentally unstable, Christ I though, what can i do!

If I do anything to harm him, I still don't get my money, plus i get in trouble with the police. So I said ok, just make sure you get the money paid by the time i get back.

Before I left the UK again, I decided to pay him a discreet visit, I said to him, don't think I am a soft touch, and will forget about it.

Anyway, I will go back in March, In my mind I speculate to break his legs, even though I know I will end in trouble. or I could just write it off, with the other 20,000 Sing $ owed to me. yes 45,000$ in less than a year.

I keep trying to convince myself, that oh well, it's just money, there are many worse off than myslef. it does ease the pain for a short while.

My trust in people remains very low, but I do have a little faith, that maybe in time, the people will return my money., which wasn't so easily come by.

But thinking to myself, a little while before writing this thread, "how to measure friendship"

Now I realise there are one or two so called experts here on the board!
Star Eagle or Strong Eagle the symbol of USA may suggest" maybe it's the people you choose to have around you"

He has remarkable insight, I guess that's where the eagle eyes come in, if only I could see into peoples minds like he can! I would be free of all the hassle of people owing me money. yeah right on Uri

But hey isn't faith something? only time will tell I guess.

But there is a saying, that goes " a friend in need is a friend indeed " I have yet to figure out the conclusion.

bobdoom
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....

Postby bobdoom » Wed, 19 Jan 2005 6:26 pm

ur just gave urself the answer...
ur friendship is measured by money... $20k is really a big amt of money..

if ur friendship wasn't measured by money.. you would not have complained about the 20k or watsoever...

hope this helps.... this is the way i see it... and not necessarily u have to agree with it...

KLS
Member
Member
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat, 23 Oct 2004

Re: ....

Postby KLS » Thu, 20 Jan 2005 1:52 am

bobdoom wrote:ur just gave urself the answer...
ur friendship is measured by money... $20k is really a big amt of money..

if ur friendship wasn't measured by money.. you would not have complained about the 20k or watsoever...

hope this helps.... this is the way i see it... and not necessarily u have to agree with it...


Thanks for your opinion! I don't think I was complaining specifically, more wanting peoples feed back on the situation.

Your right it is alot of money, that's why I placed trust with this person, to place the money in my account. what he actually did, was to go out and drink and gamble the money, because his wife had kicked him out for having an affair with this 18 year old.

and actually even though I have known the person many years by name, he was a friend of a friend. So not really so close, but my friend said he was trust worthy, I just gave him the benefit of the doubt that I had.

The guy has is own business, and when i did loan him money before he did actually repay.

Personally I don't really care for friendships, I rather think of people has acquaintances, they seem to use the word frienships, more than myself.

I never base my friendships on money, but I do base them on loyalty and trust, and because i still have a little faith for human behaviour, I am in no rush to get the money.

What does bother me, is why I have a tendency to teach this guy a lesson, I say that hypothetically, because he may teach me one. But if he thinks he can dominate the issue at hand, with excuses, rather, than, saying. Look can you wait until i get back on my feet again, and i will pay you the money back.

It bugs me to see him with his 18 year old chick, drinking at the bar, and coming up with silly excuses why he cannot pay any money. In my eyes he stole the money, he didn't ask if he could loan it. So I think may be i do have a point here.

But again thanks for your opinion!

I am sad

..

Postby I am sad » Thu, 20 Jan 2005 10:48 am

Hi KLS,
I'm sorry you seem to meet friends like these but there's this unspoken rule never to let money get in the way of your friendship. That is why people often try not to go into business with their good friends, or work in the same company with a good friend etc.

I've had friends who quarelled about money before.One had a constant borrowing problem so he borrowed from everyone he knew, his church friends, and even approached his friend's parents. That guy (a working man) even approached me (a student in uni at the time) for 50 dollars.

It took me a while to get my money back. His once close friend became estranged from him because it had been a few years and no sign of the money his parents forked out for this person.

But the last I heard time healed all rifts. They are firends again, just not as close as before.

Guest

Re: ..

Postby Guest » Thu, 20 Jan 2005 5:01 pm

I am sad wrote:Hi KLS,
I'm sorry you seem to meet friends like these but there's this unspoken rule never to let money get in the way of your friendship. That is why people often try not to go into business with their good friends, or work in the same company with a good friend etc.

I've had friends who quarelled about money before.One had a constant borrowing problem so he borrowed from everyone he knew, his church friends, and even approached his friend's parents. That guy (a working man) even approached me (a student in uni at the time) for 50 dollars.

It took me a while to get my money back. His once close friend became estranged from him because it had been a few years and no sign of the money his parents forked out for this person.

But the last I heard time healed all rifts. They are firends again, just not as close as before.



I'm sad!

Nice to hear from you! yes you are quite right!
well he wasn't really a friend, just someone I met through a friend that was having some hard time financially, I felt a little down after hearing his problems,

So i first loaned him around 700 pound, so that he could continue his business, he paid back within 3 months, which was fine.

I just didn't expect him to spend my money from the goods, I left with him, I cannot really call him a friend, because i don't really know him personally, I just know the family from when i was a child.

It's ok though, I will just let it go, time will tell! Some people do have it more difficult than myself to get by.

I guess that, he could have thought from my impression, that i just fly around the world and have lots of money to waste, but thats not true. I do return to UK 2 or 3 times a year and to Denmark and Taiwan, but only because of familly ties.

Oh well! thats life in a nutshell. Hope you are feeling better these days! 2005 I hope to be a good year for progress. If you change your title from "I'm sad" don't forget to inform us all


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