Short answer: people don't like going out of their comfort zones and extended mingling with other cultures is a protracted outside-of-someone's-comfort-zone exercise.Nikar wrote:Hi all,
First of all, I'm a local (Singaporean), not expat. At the place where I work, there's quite a diversity of people from various countries.
However, one thing I notice is that people from the same countries seem to always huddle in a group during lunch and not interacting with others including locals. So for e.g: you would have japanese always hanging out with japanese, burmese always hanging out with burmese, indians always with indians etc.
Now, I actually want to get to know all these people from various countries as they seem really interesting.
So far, my requests to ask them to join me and a couple of my local friends during lunch always tend to end up with them politely rejecting with a smile, saying they're not hungry etc, only for them to jump up later and go for lunch moments later whenever their fellow countrymen came to approach them.
Of course, being in the company for only 1 month or so, I understand it's way too early to get to know all these people, but then again, the locals who've been working in the same company for years don't mix with the foreigners in my company either. It's always locals vs foreigners cliques if you know what I mean.
I'll take it slow and gradually break the ice with these guys bit by bit, but how do you expats / foreigners (especially asian ones) here feel about Singaporeans coming up to you and being friendly etc? Would you guys be filled with suspicion or just feel irritated cos' you prefer to mix with your own people?
I understand most asians can't speak english comfortably and thus prefer to mix with people who can speak their own language, but well, since there's a diversity of cultures in my workplace, it's impossible for me to learn burmese, thai, japanese, korean, french, hindi etc
I always feel it's kind of a pity that all these people from such diverse backgrounds could not mingle together....I mean, it would make the whole environment so rich and full of cultural meaning.
I would like honest opinions on this. Tks!
*PS*: The only asian nationality so far that I've seen which mingle more with locals are the Filipinos. The rest, welll....As for westerners, I think it's 50-50 for them.
"Oh, I'm with this person who speaks a different language, eats different staple food, has different cultural norms than me. How can I interact with him so that I don't look like a fool to him and I don't offend him? Better play it safe and stick with safe topics...like the weather today. Oh wow, that is really boring and I'm saying it...this is getting uncomfortable with the awkward silence. Screw it; this takes up too much energy. I just won't do it next time."
This is not unique to Singapore.Nikar wrote:... one thing I notice is that people from the same countries seem to always huddle in a group during lunch and not interacting with others including locals. So for e.g: you would have japanese always hanging out with japanese, burmese always hanging out with burmese, indians always with indians etc.
Nikar wrote:...how do you expats / foreigners (especially asian ones) here feel about Singaporeans coming up to you and being friendly etc?
Nikar wrote:Now, I actually want to get to know all these people from various countries as they seem really interesting.
Nikar wrote:I always feel it's kind of a pity that all these people from such diverse backgrounds could not mingle together....I mean, it would make the whole environment so rich and full of cultural meaning.
nakatago wrote:Short answer: people don't like going out of their comfort zones and extended mingling with other cultures is a protracted outside-of-someone's-comfort-zone exercise.quote wrote:"... this takes up too much energy."
For the record, I'm Indonesian, ethnicity? Malay.Nikar wrote: how do you expats / foreigners (especially asian ones) here feel about Singaporeans coming up to you and being friendly etc? Would you guys be filled with suspicion or just feel irritated cos' you prefer to mix with your own people?.
OMG!sundaymorningstaple wrote:You might be surprised. In my case, I usually have lunch alone at my desk as I'm the only western/caucasian in the company (but the company is comprised of 40% foreigners). When lunch time comes, there is an Indian clique, a chinese clique and a Malay clique. Our Burmese tend to stick together as well. I'm sure I would be welcome in any of those cliques, but they would be uncomfortable as then they would have to use English, which while they can speak a reasonable levels of English, they are much more comfortable in a social setting using their own language. If they want me to join them for lunch, they ensure that they switch to English for my benefit. I'm not new at this company, I've been there for 10 years and I'm one of their managers (Hr & Finance). I have a good repore with all of them, but as I don't speak any other language except English, I try to not make them uncomforable. Work for me. (Oh, I'm married to a local for almost 32 years - but her English is as good as mine is (my had degenerated somewhat after living here for 33 years).
If you have only been in the company for one month, you need to give it time. Once they realize you are going to jump jobs after 3 months, maybe they will start warming up to you. As a newbie, they are not going to waste time trying to create any bonds at this early stage of you employment.
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