Apple Wants to Start Producing Cars as Soon as 2020

[Wd40]

Interesting!

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/ ... on-as-2020

[Strong Eagle]

It will probably only allow you to drive where Apple wants you to drive.

[sundaymorningstaple]

^^ This!

[x9200]

First garagebreak will be released by the end of this year.

[nakatago]

It will probably only allow you to drive where Apple wants you to drive.

Frankly, I don't know how they'll pull it off without Steve's obsessively obnoxious attention to detail.

I can see though how Tim's command of supply chains will get in the way of other companies moving forward.

[rajagainstthemachine]

The car will be driven using a single button

[Wd40]

Just think of the implications if they could replicate what they did in the mobile phone space.

Cars are even more aspirational than phones. They are targeting the right space. Only question is whether they can really pull it off.

[JR8]

The tyre valves will be unique to Apple, and air-fills will only be available at Apple licensed 'Apple-mobility lifestyle centres' where your 'alt coolness' will be briefly and cynically indulged and pampered, whilst they x-sell other life/coolness-affirming products on 1000% margins.

You're initially surprised that the airfill that you imagined might be free, ends up being purified and ionised 'Andean Green Hot-air' (TM) at $20 bucks. It's 'Hot' not due to temperature but due to how cool it is, right!? Tell me you saw that one coming! It has 'Internal Entropic Positive Energy' (TM) that will, they promise, thus convey said positive energy to you throughout the day as you journey.

It's labelled 'Green' since it got brought all the way from Macchu Pichu by a mule-train led by peasants earning US$3 a day. The mules got quite gassy adjusting to nose-bags of Mexican plantain on the way, but those emissions are 100% natural and so that's ok, and being empathetic, who doesn't have a problem eating real Mexican food the first time?

The Zero-emission journey, blogged daily in a paid for column in the San Francisco Chronicle remains unsure whether to report the three donkeys that died at Guadalajara. The drovers sold the carcasses to the local burrito chain, so the US PRs insist they were recycled, a hence a progressive and 100% natural action!, but it's not clear yet whether the wealthy of Marin County San Francisco will see it in a similar positive light. Or indeed if this can be spun into a subscription-only rally to sponsor the next mule-train and require it to be progressively (lol) culled en route, leaving a path of poor but well fed peasants, and 'positive energy' and social goodness: 'Reaching out from the Bay via the Burro to the Barrio' (TM).

Every purchase of Andean Hot-Air by you publicly broadcasts: 'Yes I care for the downtrodden peasants (and their burros, and burritos), including those peasants who might aspire to be buying this car after 60 years of putting in 18 hr days. I mean, they all do quietly aspire to be me right? Look look!, that 11 year old drover is wearing a pair of fake Nike branded rubber sandals, see, I told you!!'.

But that's a minor detail, lost amongst the greater good. The take-away is 'Observe everyone how considerate and caring I am!, It's true people and mules died for me, but I really do care'. Meanwhile you unexpectedly leave the AMLC with two unplanned new laptops, and having done your bit to fund the Macchu Pichu Mule-train Drivers Family Welfare Centre and Graveyard Complex back in Peru. You're $5,998 down and on a $398p/m 24-month contract, but hey, price doesn't matter when you're doing so much good for the world eh (oh and coincidentally winning the ongoing bitter style-war vs your inner social circle)?



[;; - just larking about, please no one take me seriously].

[the lynx]

Siri will be the voice for the in-built navigational system.

[Addadude]

Siri will be the voice for the in-built navigational system.

And she still won't be able to understand an Irish accent.

[nakatago]

And she still won't be able to understand an Irish accent.

This is the closest that you can get: