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Dealing with the helper being late drunken on her off day

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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 10:45 am

Assume the worst for the moment; she's whoring down at Orchard Towers or similar. You'll see legions of DHs down there, and in and around all the other dodgy KTVs, go-go bars and so on. Would you still be happy with that?

The bottom-line is you are responsible for her, so you better know what she's up to, and with whom, and where.

A problem is your contract set a limit, and she broke it, and you're 'ok' with that. So now she's pushed the boundaries even further, and you still ok.

Let's hope this doesn't all blow up in your face.

p.s. I found the rather limp-wristed 'she's a human being too - despite her contract' rather unhelpful (and the personal attack on OSOD rude). In fact I'd suggest that in a country like this it could be dangerous overlooking such a matter, as you open yourself up to heaven's knows what potential liability. We've had posters here previously asking for help with 'DMs gone rogue/'working nights in a 2nd job''. It's a very bad situation for the employer to be in.

... I'd be curious to know how the DH can afford to get drunk.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:41 am

JR8 wrote:
... I'd be curious to know how the DH can afford to get drunk.



Me lub you long time, John! Can buy me Lady Drink, John? Want special with that, John?

Ya gotta admit, the hourly rates is a lot better than being a DH, especially for part time. :-k

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Postby zzm9980 » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:43 am

JR8 wrote:(and the personal attack on OSOD rude)

Oh geez, for calling the loving and compassionate christian out for one of his numerous and regular personal attacks? :???:

... I'd be curious to know how the DH can afford to get drunk.

In exchange for services rendered?

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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:57 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:
JR8 wrote:... I'd be curious to know how the DH can afford to get drunk.


Me lub you long time, John! Can buy me Lady Drink, John? Want special with that, John?

Ya gotta admit, the hourly rates is a lot better than being a DH, especially for part time. :-k


Well that was the water I was trying to lead the horse to. If the OPs DH is out Sunday's whoring then... well, I'm damned glad I'm not her employer!

And yes SMS, at the next meet-up I promise to get you a 'Lady-Drink', slice of pineapple and parasol in it too! :lol: :twisted:

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Postby bgd » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 1:05 pm

The poor girl. She has gone from staying out late to being a whore in just a few replies.

:(

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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 1:11 pm

bgd wrote:The poor girl. She has gone from staying out late to being a whore in just a few replies.
:(


I did not say she is, how did you read that? :???:

I said 'If'. The consequences IF that were the case are grave enough the OP really must consider them.

Don't you think?

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Postby bgd » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 2:35 pm

JR8 wrote:
bgd wrote:The poor girl. She has gone from staying out late to being a whore in just a few replies.
:(


I did not say she is, how did you read that? :???:

I said 'If'. The consequences IF that were the case are grave enough the OP really must consider them.

Don't you think?


Never let facts get in the way of a good story :)

I'm with the camp that says she changes her ways or is out. She needs to balance her personal life with her working life. If she can't do that then the OP runs too many risks, the system being what it is here.

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Postby rajagainstthemachine » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 2:50 pm

I'll be waiting for the thread from OP where she finally runs away with John
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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Postby PNGMK » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 4:10 pm

JR8 wrote:Assume the worst for the moment; she's whoring down at Orchard Towers or similar. You'll see legions of DHs down there, and in and around all the other dodgy KTVs, go-go bars and so on. Would you still be happy with that?

The bottom-line is you are responsible for her, so you better know what she's up to, and with whom, and where.

A problem is your contract set a limit, and she broke it, and you're 'ok' with that. So now she's pushed the boundaries even further, and you still ok.

Let's hope this doesn't all blow up in your face.

p.s. I found the rather limp-wristed 'she's a human being too - despite her contract' rather unhelpful (and the personal attack on OSOD rude). In fact I'd suggest that in a country like this it could be dangerous overlooking such a matter, as you open yourself up to heaven's knows what potential liability. We've had posters here previously asking for help with 'DMs gone rogue/'working nights in a 2nd job''. It's a very bad situation for the employer to be in.

... I'd be curious to know how the DH can afford to get drunk.


Agreed with all of this post. An FDW is a effectively an indentured servant; not a free person.

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Postby Nihility » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 4:23 pm

FDWs are modern day slaves, all wrapped up in a politically correct bow to keep developed nations, developed. Singapore relies enormously upon such workers.

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Postby PNGMK » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 4:23 pm

Nihility wrote:FDWs are modern day slaves, all wrapped up in a politically correct bow to keep developed nations, developed. Singapore relies enormously upon such workers.


Not quite - they have the right to withdraw their labour which slaves don't.

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Postby Nihility » Tue, 14 Oct 2014 4:25 pm

PNGMK wrote:
Nihility wrote:FDWs are modern day slaves, all wrapped up in a politically correct bow to keep developed nations, developed. Singapore relies enormously upon such workers.


Not quite - they have the right to withdraw their labour which slaves don't.


So we ain't that bad after all :wink:

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Postby ecureilx » Wed, 15 Oct 2014 8:33 am

x9200 wrote:If she does not wake up anybody and is not drunk (assuming her day off is over) than why not? I would be more concerned if she is the type that would abuse later your kindness (as you relaxed her contract restrictions). I am not sure if coming back 6am or at 10pm would make any difference as of the likelihood of her getting pregnant or anything getting herself and you into any other serious troubles.

What does she say about her late returns when you ask her?


back home, our maid once went MIA for a night and claimed she missed the last bus etc

Other half gave her warning

And a month later, when same happened, she (maid I mean :D) was kicked out summarily

I was feeling it was a bit harsh and other half had this to say

she is taking care of our child and if she has no responsibility, how can I trust her with the child ? and if she comes home and in drunken stupor decides to take care of the baby or something ? I just don't want her near my baby, if she can't follow simple instructions, how can I trust her to take care of the baby when we are at work ?

and .. if she drinks, most likely, she smokes .. or her drinking buddies sure smoke, and smokers nears toddlers is a no no. Gone was the maid, same day terminated, with 2 months compensation.


I had no say, and in a way it is right

the maid agreed to work, per terms and if she can't stick to the terms, either find another employer, or ... change the line of work

heck, does your or my employer allow us to make our own rules ? Same here

even office workers get fired for miscellaneous violations, like smoking breaks, not turning up on time, and the likes, so ??

btw, for those who call maids as slaves, why not go to the country of origin of the maids, and ensure they get good jobs back there, so they don't have to sign up as slaves ??? or discourage those countries from promoting export of maids ?? Those govts mint money in exporting maids, and not gonna be in your favour .. so are those agents in those countries, who are minting enough money to bribe off the relevant ministers / Senators, to keep the export flowing, and some Senators / ministers openly beg the employing countries to increase the number of maids being allowed in .. !!!

Tough yeah ??

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Postby PNGMK » Wed, 15 Oct 2014 8:58 am

Good post ecureilx. You're right in that the problem is not just here but the country of origin.

I had a maid friend in OMan. She was paid about OMR90 a month - that's about SGD270 per month. She took care of a 12 room house with 8 people in it and worked 14 hours a day. She was there for two years and was expected to cover the OMR600 exit tax herself. She had it hard, my FDW doesn't.

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the lynx
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Postby the lynx » Wed, 15 Oct 2014 9:18 am

I'm parking myself in this thread. Sorry I do not have valuable input as I'm not a domestic helper, nor a domestic helper's boss.


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