Division of marrital assets in divorce

[dear1214]

My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce and I would like to know what the division of marital assets and alimony would be if we both make about 200k/year and 300/year except he got laid off last year, around the time he discovered my affair. He plans on having a contested divorce and he's trying to argue that he needs support because he was so psychologically distraught that he couldn't work. 1) I'm still working so will he get a share of my earnings for this past year since he hasn't been working? 2) Is there such a thing as compensation for emotional damage in this case? 3) If he continues to stay unemployed, will I have to pay alimony, even though he's perfectly healthy and we don't have any children? Thanks.

[PNGMK]

My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce and I would like to know what the division of marital assets and alimony would be if we both make about 200k/year and 300/year except he got laid off last year, around the time he discovered my affair. He plans on having a contested divorce and he's trying to argue that he needs support because he was so psychologically distraught that he couldn't work. 1) I'm still working so will he get a share of my earnings for this past year since he hasn't been working? 2) Is there such a thing as compensation for emotional damage in this case? 3) If he continues to stay unemployed, will I have to pay alimony, even though he's perfectly healthy and we don't have any children? Thanks.

Marital assets are normally split 50/50 unless the marriage was short and one party contributed far more or one party needs support for children (I assume it is a childless marriage).

For alimony Singapore courts are starting (finally) to move away from the idea that women are helpless if not married (and hence this is effecting palimony as well). I suspect he will be hard pressed to explain why an able bodied man with skills cannot work (it's the same argument lawyers use on women who refuse to work in order to claim Alimony).

The courts appear to be moving away as well from punitive damages (i.e. compensation) towards one party because of behavior of the other party. While Singapore doesn't have 'no fault' divorce the cases I've seen friends in recently seem to be heading towards mediated settlements (certainly if you want it over quickly it's best to mediate). Unless he has hard evidence of the affair with sworn transcripts of SMS/calls or testimonials from registered PI (not just hearsay) I would not recommend admitting adultery in court though.

Good luck and I assume you are getting good legal advice from a qualified barrister or solicitor. I AM NOT A LAWYER AND THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE.

I should add; if you want to mediate your way out of this by offering something try to go for a payout rather than palimony. A one off payment is far more palatable than a lifetime of payments to someone you hate.

[dear1214]

Thanks. He def made more than I did before getting laid off, and he also received his deferred bonus from the layoff. I guess he would be pretty stupid to stay unemployed just so he can get alimony or more of my contributions. Unfortunately, he phone-tapped me so he does have good evidence of my affair.

Marital assets are normally split 50/50 unless the marriage was short and one party contributed far more or one party needs support for children (I assume it is a childless marriage).

For alimony Singapore courts are starting (finally) to move away from the idea that women are helpless if not married (and hence this is effecting palimony as well). I suspect he will be hard pressed to explain why an able bodied man with skills cannot work (it's the same argument lawyers use on women who refuse to work in order to claim Alimony).

The courts appear to be moving away as well from punitive damages (i.e. compensation) towards one party because of behavior of the other party. While Singapore doesn't have 'no fault' divorce the cases I've seen friends in recently seem to be heading towards mediated settlements (certainly if you want it over quickly it's best to mediate). Unless he has hard evidence of the affair with sworn transcripts of SMS/calls or testimonials from registered PI (not just hearsay) I would not recommend admitting adultery in court though.

Good luck and I assume you are getting good legal advice from a qualified barrister or solicitor. I AM NOT A LAWYER AND THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE.

I should add; if you want to mediate your way out of this by offering something try to go for a payout rather than palimony. A one off payment is far more palatable than a lifetime of payments to someone you hate.

[PNGMK]

Phone tapping may actually be illegal in Singapore... Read this;

http://www.justanswer.com/law/8370b-sin ... tside.html

(Summary: If you were recorded without your consent by someone paid to do it, it maybe illegal).

Secondly it cannot be presented as evidence in court unless correctly transcribed by a court approved person (which costs money) unless you have admitted that the recording is truthful.

[dear1214]

Assuming he CAN prove I had an affair, will that affect the division of assets in court? Again, I don't want his assets, and I'm willing to get less than 50% if he contributed more, I'm just curious it the court punishes the party for their behaviour. Thanks.

[PNGMK]

Assuming he CAN prove I had an affair, will that affect the division of assets in court? Again, I don't want his assets, and I'm willing to get less than 50% if he contributed more, I'm just curious it the court punishes the party for their behaviour. Thanks.

How long was the marriage? What did each party bring to the marriage? HJow are the assets held (jointly, singly)? All this matters.

As stated above the courts are punishing parties less.... but don't assume you'll get off lightly.

[dear1214]

The marriage is 2.5 years and we've always kept separate bank accounts except for one joint account which we contributed equally to. We were also living apart for the first two years of our marriage because we each had professional careers.

Considering that he was an investment banker for 10 years, I assume I shouldn't have to pay palimony. He's also passed the 6-month period for filing a contested divorce b/c of adultery. Sorry for bombarding you with questions, I'd ask a lawyer but they're all unwilling to help because we haven't met the 3-year minimum requirement for filing a divorce.

[zzm9980]

The marriage is 2.5 years and we've always kept separate bank accounts except for one joint account which we contributed equally to. We were also living apart for the first two years of our marriage because we each had professional careers.

Considering that he was an investment banker for 10 years, I assume I shouldn't have to pay palimony. He's also passed the 6-month period for filing a contested divorce b/c of adultery. Sorry for bombarding you with questions, I'd ask a lawyer but they're all unwilling to help because we haven't met the 3-year minimum requirement for filing a divorce.

May I ask why did you two even get married? If you lived apart for two years and cheated on each other... I mean given the income it obviously wasn't for the HDB.

Sorry, wish you all the best.

[JR8]

What makes you think he's interested in your money?

[PNGMK]

For such a short marriage (i.e. less than 10 years) I think the asset split will follow the various parties contributions... (i.e. the partner who brought in the most, takes the most).

I think it's EXTREMELY unlikely that you'll have to pay palimony given such a short marriage - it would be very hard for your husband to prove his earning ability has been cripped by your fooling around..(FYI Singapore courts don't really pay a lot of heed to emotional or psychological abuse in my direct experience). I know I'd be looking to mediate my way out of this ASAP OR I'd be ignoring all of his correspondence until you can find a lawyer who will take this on. Nothing will frustrate him more than being ignored but if you continue to respond to his threats/actions or correspondence you risk causing your self more damage via self incrimination. The first thing you lawyer should be telling you is SHUT UP and send advise the other party all correspondence is to go via the legal reps.

FYI divorces can be granted with less than 3 years separation if one party admits fault (i.e. adultery).

[dear1214]

I know he's interested in my money because he's asking for half a million if i want a consensual divorce.

What makes you think he's interested in your money?

[JR8]

I know he's interested in my money because he's asking for half a million if i want a consensual divorce.

What makes you think he's interested in your money?

Ah, you didn't mention that. So he has you on a hook.

I got divorced in the late 90s. As a straight-talkin' neighbour/friend observed (roughly): 'Hey JR8, you could have banged out a couple of hookers every night for the duration of your marriage, and it would have cost you less than she is planning on.'

It didn't seem so funny then as it does now...

[zzm9980]

I know he's interested in my money because he's asking for half a million if i want a consensual divorce.

What makes you think he's interested in your money?

Ah, you didn't mention that. So he has you on a hook.

I got divorced in the late 90s. As a straight-talkin' neighbour/friend observed (roughly): 'Hey JR8, you could have banged out a couple of hookers every night for the duration of your marriage, and it would have cost you less than she is planning on.'

It didn't seem so funny then as it does now...

"Renting" is definitely cheaper than marriage. I always advise my friends of that who are unsure if they're happy being in a long term relationship.

[zzm9980]

I know he's interested in my money because he's asking for half a million if i want a consensual divorce.

What makes you think he's interested in your money?

Without knowing your financial situation, it may be worth it.

being very blunt and to the point:
How old are you? would it make you destitute? could you pay it and keep your current house/condo/whatever? how attractive are you? Could you reasonable get married again to someone who is financially secure (and not cheat on him this time)?

I know plenty of people who all eventually divorced that balked at the initial figure. many of them agreed it would have been worth it to just pay the other party ASAP and GTFO that to try and fight for months/years and wind up paying nearly as much anyway.

[dear1214]

Hmmm...that's why I'm asking about the division of assets. If we have a contested divorce, there's no way he would get that much. 500K is all my savings.

I know he's interested in my money because he's asking for half a million if i want a consensual divorce.

What makes you think he's interested in your money?

Without knowing your financial situation, it may be worth it.

being very blunt and to the point:
How old are you? would it make you destitute? could you pay it and keep your current house/condo/whatever? how attractive are you? Could you reasonable get married again to someone who is financially secure (and not cheat on him this time)?

I know plenty of people who all eventually divorced that balked at the initial figure. many of them agreed it would have been worth it to just pay the other party ASAP and GTFO that to try and fight for months/years and wind up paying nearly as much anyway.