Obama Informs Nation Anarchy Will Reign During Search For New Attorney General
WASHINGTON—Following news that Eric Holder plans to step down from office, President Barack Obama addressed Americans this afternoon to announce that anarchy and violent chaos will reign during the search for a new Attorney General.
Obama, who issued a stern warning to the U.S. populace that frenzied and unrestrained mayhem will grip every corner of the country, stressed that federal laws would soon hold no meaning and that uncontrollable mobs would rampage in every American city, where he said blood would accumulate in great pools in the streets until a successor for Holder is nominated from a list of suitable candidates and subsequently confirmed by the Senate.
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