Help my 15 year-old do well in exams ...

[wongth]

Ben here.

Just wanted to ask if other parents here have the same problem.

my boy is 15 this year and he's okay when it comes to homework and assignments. not like fantastic or anything but he gets his B3s and even A2s sometimes.

just that when the exams come, everything seems to fly out the window and he always ends up with lower grades than he's capable of.

does anyone have any tips to help him?

is it specific to subjects too because this always happens for math and science subjects. his languages are so-so but my wife says he's always fantastic at home but seems to forget or mess up during the real thing.

any help/tips are welcome. we are happy to try anything at this point.

thanks in advance.

[Hannieroo]

In my experience that's usually exam stress. He's probably not reading the question properly and making silly mistakes. I bet there is relaxation exercises online you can download. That and teaching him to review at the end of the exam.

[QRM]

Too much pressure from parents at home on exam success? Try telling him the results are not so important?

Show him the negative aspects of getting into the Singapore exam rat race. In fact the local rag recently has nothing but stories on why qualification are not such a biggie.

[wongth]

That's right, we do feel it is about his confidence level and of course the stress of a major exam that is affecting his mentality. What could we actually do to change this mentality? We have tried to not exert any pressure on him and telling him that just do his best but it just doesnt seem to work out.

[PNGMK]

That's right, we do feel it is about his confidence level and of course the stress of a major exam that is affecting his mentality. What could we actually do to change this mentality? We have tried to not exert any pressure on him and telling him that just do his best but it just doesnt seem to work out.

A little success (on his own) may boost his enthusiasm. I would avoid tutors and tutoring for a term or two and see if the freedom to set his own pace helps. My son improved when he found he could do the work and study himself rather than being spoon fed.

[wongth]

Thanks everyone for your helpful shares. Perhaps, we will take this 2 days to research on our own and see if we can find anything useful that would be beneficial to all of us and especially our children (with the major exams coming in a few short months).

[Mi Amigo]

I would echo what the others have said here about trying to reduce the pressure / stress that your son seems to be feeling. From what you've said, he seems to be putting in the effort and doesn't lack motivation, so I would reiterate to him (as I have done with my own children in the past) that all you expect of him is to do his best. I used to remind my daughters that I basically failed my 'A' Levels (due to distractions like music, girls, etc.), but things still turned out OK for me in the end.

The day my 'A' Level results arrived (at the time I thought this had put the kibosh on any higher education prospects), my dad was (TBH) not as supportive as I'd have liked - he just said, "Well you'll have to get a bloody job then." Understandable in a way, although as it turned out I was able to find a way to continue studying and it all came good in the long run. But at the time, feeling so gloomy, I wish I'd received a bit more support and empathy.

In the UK there's a very dour (but funny) comedian called Jack Dee; not sure if you've seen or heard him. He told the story about a similar situation - on the morning he opened his 'A' Level results letter, he said to his father, "I've failed them all, it's a total disaster and I really don't know what to do." To which his dad replied, "Well I'd have some breakfast if I were you." Which I thought was just a brilliant thing to say.

My point about this is that your son is probably already feeling under a huge amount of pressure to do well - not just for himself but also for you and the rest of the family. So many times over the years, I've said to my daughters, "Look, it'll be fine, whatever happens. Things are never as bad as they seem, and even if you don't get the marks you want, I know you'll still find a way to do what you want to do. As long as you do your best I'll always be very proud of you." I know you're already saying these things to your son, but IMHO it's the kind of thing that can't be repeated too often.

I'd try taking some time out (say each weekend) and doing something together that's totally unrelated to the academic stuff. Also, as Hannieroo mentioned, you might want to have some 'exam strategy' sessions with him - not focussing on the content, but on the best 'process' to go through in an exam. e.g. read the question, then read it again, before you start writing anything in detail, etc.

Good luck!

[PNGMK]

To the above;

In exam strategies:

1. Check the question book for all the pages and make sure you know where they all are- no missing pages or questions.

2. Plan out the exam time. Book A, one hour, Book B next hour etc.

2. When answering questions in sentences.... you need a minimum of one sentence per part of the question.... And it needs elaboration, not just five words. With math and science you MUST show your working and working usually brings more points.

4. Answer the easiest questions first with precision (i.e. read and double check). Doing that usually gets you past the fail mark at least.

5. Move onto the harder ones and imagine then as targets that need to be mowed down one by one. But don't get stuck on one. If answering a hard one and stuck, leave a blank page or two in the answer book and move on. If times permits go back to those blank pages and try again.

I could go on and on but these simple tips are the only beginning of effective exam strategies.

[wongth]

thanks guys for the help.

anyway wanted to share this something I saw on a local mummy blogger's instagram @klessislee . she writes on j babies in the daisies.

she posted on her instagram this picture with link (TheExamAce.com) so I went in and took a look. looks quite interesting ... talks about mindset being important for exams.

i put my email in - but once again, i will wait and see what happens first. will update everyone in time.

[sundaymorningstaple]

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