rajagainstthemachine wrote:even when you are with the person you love the most, there are times when both of you will find each others habits exasperating, cohabitation helps you identify those habits and lets you decide for yourself ultimately.
Personally I concur about the cohabitation thing - I'd never have got married without first checking to see whether I could actually live under the same roof with the person in question.
But, outside of a hypothetical '100% perfect' marriage, there will always be things or actions that have the potential to irritate the other partner. The secret of a long and happy marriage (IMO / IME) is to develop ways / behaviours to prevent such things causing annoyance, resentment, etc.
What's that old saying - before you get married you need to have your eyes and ears wide open; after marriage you should keep them half closed. I'm not talking about infidelity here, which in my book is unacceptable (although I know there are some long-standing marriages where such behaviour is tolerated). I just mean that sometimes it's better to pretend that you didn't see or hear something, rather than getting all wound up (probably over something very trivial in the overall scheme of things) and then saying something you might regret later.
*Edit to add - obviously if there is a serious problem it needs to be discussed openly and honestly; I'm talking about minor irritating habits that, if not handled with the right perspective, could have the potential to create a long-standing annoyance.