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The Road not taken.. do you have any?

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Beeroclock » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:58 pm

rajagainstthemachine wrote:I have had other situations as well, like choosing company A over company B , Partner A over Partner B , House A vs House B, country A vs Country B etc etc etc.

decisions decisions decisions! why is this always so hard?


here is a technique to try next time, use the coin toss method.

1. toss a coin, heads = A, tails = B
2. when it's still in the air, you will "know"/ "feel" which way you want it to land
3. take this as your decision. it doesn't matter which way the coin actually falls

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Postby Beeroclock » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 4:00 pm

x9200 wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?


In my case I don't have any regrets being an engineer but at some points in my engineering career it came to dealing with fixing people and their problems rather than fixing systems with problems.


I guess you don't fix the people with a scalpel and a psychologist is a bit different then a doctor, or you actually meant the first one?

no regret here, even though I only ended up practicing a few years before my career took different turns.

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Postby rajagainstthemachine » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 4:20 pm

x9200 wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?


In my case I don't have any regrets being an engineer but at some points in my engineering career it came to dealing with fixing people and their problems rather than fixing systems with problems.


I guess you don't fix the people with a scalpel and a psychologist is a bit different then a doctor, or you actually meant the first one?


well, I was trying to say when I first started off my job in communications engineering it was all about getting your hands dirty, installing systems, configuring, planning, I'd enjoy talking and arguing to people about what solution worked and what didn't.
Fast forward a few years and my hands on with the products started to decline, particularly with the advent of virtual machines, snapshots etc etc it made my engagement with the systems I loved and worked less enthusiastic.
The direction that my company was taking at that time with respect to the road map of these products I had so grown to love had changed, the change in company dynamics product A in favour or Product B, office politics, team interaction and so on.. I started to feel less and less like the engineer I once was.
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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Wd40 » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 4:50 pm

Sporkin wrote:Thanks, it's what keeps me up awake at night after i had a few beers...Then i just carry on having a few more until i'm less coherent and the nagging thoughts stop troubling me. :)

Wd40 wrote:
Sporkin wrote:Its always hindsight 20/20. Now that you have lived through the decisions you've made, you could always think about what alternatives you should have chosen.

But sometimes i can't help but think you can't run away from who you are. Given the same choices and the same circumstances at that point in time, it is very likely you will make the same choice.

Extrapolating this, if you believe in a truly deterministic universe, there may not be a place for free will at all. Its all an illusion.



rajagainstthemachine wrote:I was sitting in the bus pondering over this situation, very often in our lifetime we encounter certain crossroads and we choose one over the other and sometimes it leads to life altering situations, if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?

In my case at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,
In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision.

I have had other situations as well, like choosing company A over company B , Partner A over Partner B , House A vs House B, country A vs Country B etc etc etc.

decisions decisions decisions! why is this always so hard?


Nice comment! and I fully subscribe to your theory!


I had recently read a very related article in Linked In in which a lady had described about how, she had the perfect job in mind and how she kept working towards it and finally when she got that job, she realized, that was not something she actually likes doing :)

A lot of times, we tell ourselves, that we want to do something and want to get somewhere. But usually its the journey to get there that actually keeps you going. Eventually when you reach there, you wonder, if that was really what you wanted :) But the journey was still worthwhile!

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Postby zzm9980 » Sat, 28 Jun 2014 12:22 am

Beeroclock wrote:
QRM wrote:Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. (Cherokee Indian Proverb)

+1. Not so easy to do in practice, but the best way really is to accept your current situation, be grateful for what you have, and the self awareness/intent to know what you want to happen next in life and take action (any action actually) to move from the current to the desired outcome.


Agree completely. Any decisions you regret should just be used as input and course corrections for to guide you where you want to be in the future.

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Postby JR8 » Sat, 28 Jun 2014 10:40 am

"A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams"

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Postby x9200 » Sat, 28 Jun 2014 10:42 am

rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?


In my case I don't have any regrets being an engineer but at some points in my engineering career it came to dealing with fixing people and their problems rather than fixing systems with problems.


I guess you don't fix the people with a scalpel and a psychologist is a bit different then a doctor, or you actually meant the first one?


well, I was trying to say when I first started off my job in communications engineering it was all about getting your hands dirty, installing systems, configuring, planning, I'd enjoy talking and arguing to people about what solution worked and what didn't.
Fast forward a few years and my hands on with the products started to decline, particularly with the advent of virtual machines, snapshots etc etc it made my engagement with the systems I loved and worked less enthusiastic.
The direction that my company was taking at that time with respect to the road map of these products I had so grown to love had changed, the change in company dynamics product A in favour or Product B, office politics, team interaction and so on.. I started to feel less and less like the engineer I once was.

Oh, sorry, I completely misinterpreted your earlier post. This I can definitely get. But then you kind of not regret your education but working environment/specific job. Who knows, where you would have ended up as a doctor? It might have been be not necessary the enjoyable environment neither. I think taxico was sort of complaining about this a few month back IIRC.

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Postby QRM » Sat, 28 Jun 2014 2:58 pm

JR8 wrote:"A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams"


Funny that in London I had this really old boy neighbour 87 years old, he was a very well respected Islamic scholar, a real eloquent gent with a bow tie, always impeccably dressed.

Just before he died he pulled me over wanting to give me some advice, I thought here is a man that would give Gandhi and the Dalai Lama a run for their money, I braced myself much like Mary when Gabriel first appeared.

The holy grail answer to life was? He wished he F*cked more women when he was able and told me never to end up like him. LOL I nearly fell off my seat the crudeness and simplicity was so unexpected, hilarious and kind of sad.

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby taxico » Sat, 28 Jun 2014 4:18 pm

rajagainstthemachine wrote:...at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,

In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision...


raj (and everybody else who made a decision to reject a career in medicine):

it's never too late to go to med school. although it may not be what you had envisioned but it's still an open option for many people. it usually becomes a very fulfilling career for mature candidates.

not the first time but i most recently successfully encouraged an engineer in his 40s (with kids and a wife) to do just that last year (he spoke to me for 2 years) and he's now pursuing an MBBS in UK.

no guarantees that 10 years on, you may not be thinking if you should have figured out a better way to blow $400,000

as for me... i try to live in the present and think about the future.
Aut viam ad caelum inveniam aut faciam

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Postby Strong Eagle » Sun, 29 Jun 2014 12:11 am

JR8 wrote:"A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams"


I like that... and shall spread it about.

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Akimbo » Mon, 30 Jun 2014 9:50 am

taxico wrote:raj (and everybody else who made a decision to reject a career in medicine):

it's never too late to go to med school. although it may not be what you had envisioned but it's still an open option for many people. it usually becomes a very fulfilling career for mature candidates.

not the first time but i most recently successfully encouraged an engineer in his 40s (with kids and a wife) to do just that last year (he spoke to me for 2 years) and he's now pursuing an MBBS in UK.

no guarantees that 10 years on, you may not be thinking if you should have figured out a better way to blow $400,000

as for me... i try to live in the present and think about the future.


I thought of that too, although after awhile I don't really want to become a doctor, but seems that all the actions come with being a nurse instead, or being an EMT.

I think NUH has those Bachelor of Nursing thing, and I've been looking at the courses, but they're just so darn expensive...I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to get scholarships, or part-time nursing job while doing the nursing degree that can help pay the uni bills...
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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby taxico » Mon, 30 Jun 2014 10:14 am

Akimbo wrote:
taxico wrote:raj (and everybody else who made a decision to reject a career in medicine):

it's never too late to go to med school. although it may not be what you had envisioned but it's still an open option for many people. it usually becomes a very fulfilling career for mature candidates...


I thought of that too, although after awhile I don't really want to become a doctor, but seems that all the actions come with being a nurse instead, or being an EMT.

I think NUH has those Bachelor of Nursing thing, and I've been looking at the courses, but they're just so darn expensive...I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to get scholarships, or part-time nursing job while doing the nursing degree that can help pay the uni bills...


what's your nationality?

http://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/h ... ation.html
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Postby rajagainstthemachine » Mon, 30 Jun 2014 10:23 am

x9200 wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?


In my case I don't have any regrets being an engineer but at some points in my engineering career it came to dealing with fixing people and their problems rather than fixing systems with problems.


I guess you don't fix the people with a scalpel and a psychologist is a bit different then a doctor, or you actually meant the first one?


well, I was trying to say when I first started off my job in communications engineering it was all about getting your hands dirty, installing systems, configuring, planning, I'd enjoy talking and arguing to people about what solution worked and what didn't.
Fast forward a few years and my hands on with the products started to decline, particularly with the advent of virtual machines, snapshots etc etc it made my engagement with the systems I loved and worked less enthusiastic.
The direction that my company was taking at that time with respect to the road map of these products I had so grown to love had changed, the change in company dynamics product A in favour or Product B, office politics, team interaction and so on.. I started to feel less and less like the engineer I once was.


Oh, sorry, I completely misinterpreted your earlier post. This I can definitely get. But then you kind of not regret your education but working environment/specific job. Who knows, where you would have ended up as a doctor? It might have been be not necessary the enjoyable environment neither. I think taxico was sort of complaining about this a few month back IIRC.


Very true! But I would like to think there would have been a lot of positives too! for e.g. the ability to change working environments is comparatively easier for a doctor than it is for an engineer who's down a technology rabbit hole he can't seem to get out of.
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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby rajagainstthemachine » Mon, 30 Jun 2014 10:27 am

taxico wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:...at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,

In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision...


raj (and everybody else who made a decision to reject a career in medicine):

it's never too late to go to med school. although it may not be what you had envisioned but it's still an open option for many people. it usually becomes a very fulfilling career for mature candidates.

not the first time but i most recently successfully encouraged an engineer in his 40s (with kids and a wife) to do just that last year (he spoke to me for 2 years) and he's now pursuing an MBBS in UK.

no guarantees that 10 years on, you may not be thinking if you should have figured out a better way to blow $400,000

as for me... i try to live in the present and think about the future.


Thanks Taxico! :D But I think I don't have 400,000$ to blow, I wish I did! if i won the lottery one day, I might actually consider that option.
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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Postby rajagainstthemachine » Mon, 30 Jun 2014 10:28 am

QRM wrote:
JR8 wrote:"A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams"


Funny that in London I had this really old boy neighbour 87 years old, he was a very well respected Islamic scholar, a real eloquent gent with a bow tie, always impeccably dressed.

Just before he died he pulled me over wanting to give me some advice, I thought here is a man that would give Gandhi and the Dalai Lama a run for their money, I braced myself much like Mary when Gabriel first appeared.

The holy grail answer to life was? He wished he F*cked more women when he was able and told me never to end up like him. LOL I nearly fell off my seat the crudeness and simplicity was so unexpected, hilarious and kind of sad.


I hope you are following his advise :D
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late


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