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The Road not taken.. do you have any?

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The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby rajagainstthemachine » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 12:21 pm

I was sitting in the bus pondering over this situation, very often in our lifetime we encounter certain crossroads and we choose one over the other and sometimes it leads to life altering situations, if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?

In my case at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,
In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision.

I have had other situations as well, like choosing company A over company B , Partner A over Partner B , House A vs House B, country A vs Country B etc etc etc.

decisions decisions decisions! why is this always so hard?
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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Postby Wd40 » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 12:45 pm

Had a few of similar situations, mostly similar to yours, education/career related. But the fact is you never know what would have happened if you had taken the other path. I just tell myself everything happens for a reason. No matter which path you take, there are always positives and negatives and its the experience that makes the journey worthwhile and it doesnt matter which route you take, you can take just one route.

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Postby QRM » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 1:07 pm

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. (Cherokee Indian Proverb)

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Postby x9200 » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 1:23 pm

Me thinks that whole point is not to regret anything (unless something was done incredibly stupid).
I wanted to be a doctor too and actually passed the entry exams but not in the place I preferred to study. If I would need to chose now, I might end up as a lawyer. Anyway, no regrets.

I am more fascinated in how people end up in a specific situation (important one) by a chain of seemingly unimportant events. A flagship example is analyzing the chain of events leading to ones marriage.
Or, how many times one survived (in a literal sense) choosing to watch tv for 5 min longer - you would leave 5 min earlier and a car killed you on the street. This kind of situation (various severity) must happen at least a few times in the life time.

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Sporkin » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 1:49 pm

Its always hindsight 20/20. Now that you have lived through the decisions you've made, you could always think about what alternatives you should have chosen.

But sometimes i can't help but think you can't run away from who you are. Given the same choices and the same circumstances at that point in time, it is very likely you will make the same choice.

Extrapolating this, if you believe in a truly deterministic universe, there may not be a place for free will at all. Its all an illusion.



rajagainstthemachine wrote:I was sitting in the bus pondering over this situation, very often in our lifetime we encounter certain crossroads and we choose one over the other and sometimes it leads to life altering situations, if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?

In my case at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,
In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision.

I have had other situations as well, like choosing company A over company B , Partner A over Partner B , House A vs House B, country A vs Country B etc etc etc.

decisions decisions decisions! why is this always so hard?

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Wd40 » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 2:00 pm

Sporkin wrote:Its always hindsight 20/20. Now that you have lived through the decisions you've made, you could always think about what alternatives you should have chosen.

But sometimes i can't help but think you can't run away from who you are. Given the same choices and the same circumstances at that point in time, it is very likely you will make the same choice.

Extrapolating this, if you believe in a truly deterministic universe, there may not be a place for free will at all. Its all an illusion.



rajagainstthemachine wrote:I was sitting in the bus pondering over this situation, very often in our lifetime we encounter certain crossroads and we choose one over the other and sometimes it leads to life altering situations, if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?

In my case at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,
In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision.

I have had other situations as well, like choosing company A over company B , Partner A over Partner B , House A vs House B, country A vs Country B etc etc etc.

decisions decisions decisions! why is this always so hard?


Nice comment! and I fully subscribe to your theory!

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 2:02 pm

x9200 wrote:I am more fascinated in how people end up in a specific situation (important one) by a chain of seemingly unimportant events. A flagship example is analyzing the chain of events leading to ones marriage.
Or, how many times one survived (in a literal sense) choosing to watch tv for 5 min longer - you would leave 5 min earlier and a car killed you on the street. This kind of situation (various severity) must happen at least a few times in the life time.


I'm always amazed as are my classmates from high school when we had our 45th reunion 4 years ago, at the chain of events that led me to where I am today, half way around the world for the past 30 years. And it's all from a series of seemingly unrelated events/situations without which, today, in all probability, wouldn't exist as it currently does. :???:

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Akimbo » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 2:40 pm

rajagainstthemachine wrote:if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?



I had the same story such as you. Either an engineer or a doctor. And just like you, I had chosen the former.

My reasoning at that point was because I was too afraid to handle someone's life. Afraid of that my mind would destroy myself (We are our own worst critic)

But not too long after my 3rd year in uni, and House had gone to its 5th season, while Scrubs had just ended, I realized that in the end it was worth the fear. And not too long after I started my job here in Singapore in production, did I realize that I should've gone to the medical industry instead.

Well, that's my road that wasn't taken anyway.

Nevertheless I have taken this current road, and I'm happy with where I am now. Who knows? Maybe I will crossover to that other destination someday...
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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Beeroclock » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:29 pm

Akimbo wrote:
rajagainstthemachine wrote:if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?



I had the same story such as you. Either an engineer or a doctor. And just like you, I had chosen the former.

My reasoning at that point was because I was too afraid to handle someone's life. Afraid of that my mind would destroy myself (We are our own worst critic)

But not too long after my 3rd year in uni, and House had gone to its 5th season, while Scrubs had just ended, I realized that in the end it was worth the fear. And not too long after I started my job here in Singapore in production, did I realize that I should've gone to the medical industry instead.

Well, that's my road that wasn't taken anyway.

Nevertheless I have taken this current road, and I'm happy with where I am now. Who knows? Maybe I will crossover to that other destination someday...

me three..... engineer vs doctor, chose engineer. Mainly at the time due to a fear about handling blood and other gory bits, which seems not such a great rationale looking back on it to make such an important career choice !

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Postby Beeroclock » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:39 pm

QRM wrote:Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. (Cherokee Indian Proverb)

+1. Not so easy to do in practice, but the best way really is to accept your current situation, be grateful for what you have, and the self awareness/intent to know what you want to happen next in life and take action (any action actually) to move from the current to the desired outcome.

So many people get stuck in a backward looking, blame/regret/denial rut. I can't do anything about this now because of XYZ. My life would be so much better if it wasn't for ABC. This is a recipe for being miserable and limiting your life. No matter what happened to you in the past or what situation you're in, you always have the power to change the way you think and act.

Well, there's goes my pep talk for the day :)

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Postby x9200 » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:39 pm

Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?

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Re: The Road not taken.. do you have any?

Postby Sporkin » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:45 pm

Thanks, it's what keeps me up awake at night after i had a few beers...Then i just carry on having a few more until i'm less coherent and the nagging thoughts stop troubling me. :)

Wd40 wrote:
Sporkin wrote:Its always hindsight 20/20. Now that you have lived through the decisions you've made, you could always think about what alternatives you should have chosen.

But sometimes i can't help but think you can't run away from who you are. Given the same choices and the same circumstances at that point in time, it is very likely you will make the same choice.

Extrapolating this, if you believe in a truly deterministic universe, there may not be a place for free will at all. Its all an illusion.



rajagainstthemachine wrote:I was sitting in the bus pondering over this situation, very often in our lifetime we encounter certain crossroads and we choose one over the other and sometimes it leads to life altering situations, if you had a chance to go back and change some decisions, would you ?

In my case at the age of eighteen I had to choose between being an engineer or a doctor, I chose the former although I was really good in life sciences,
In hindsight I actually regret making that decision and if i had a second chance I would change my original decision.

I have had other situations as well, like choosing company A over company B , Partner A over Partner B , House A vs House B, country A vs Country B etc etc etc.

decisions decisions decisions! why is this always so hard?


Nice comment! and I fully subscribe to your theory!

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Postby rajagainstthemachine » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:53 pm

x9200 wrote:Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?


In my case I don't have any regrets being an engineer but at some points in my engineering career it came to dealing with fixing people and their problems rather than fixing systems with problems.
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Postby rajagainstthemachine » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:55 pm

QRM wrote:Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. (Cherokee Indian Proverb)


nice proverb but man some things you do, they burn tomorrows midnight oil
To get there early is on time and showing up on time is late

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Postby x9200 » Fri, 27 Jun 2014 3:58 pm

rajagainstthemachine wrote:
x9200 wrote:Four. I didn't say this but I am an engineer too. Am I the only one who does't regret?


In my case I don't have any regrets being an engineer but at some points in my engineering career it came to dealing with fixing people and their problems rather than fixing systems with problems.


I guess you don't fix the people with a scalpel and a psychologist is a bit different then a doctor, or you actually meant the first one?


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